Distanced as it may be from the central hub of LA — well, wherever that is — the mountainous and semi-remote community of Topanga Canyon nonetheless possesses a small but significant dose of celebrity wattage. Yolanda actually thinks that the secluded and difficult-to-access locale (Topanga lies in the rugged hills between Malibu and the San Fernando Valley) plays a big part in that. Celebrities that aren’t named Kardashian love hiding out from the paparazzi. And then, of course, there’s the neighborhood’s longtime rep as a bohemian enclave with all sorts of famous artsy folks. Current residents reportedly include Lisa Bonet, Robert Trujillo, and Rick Schroder.
Now add today’s house to the celebrity-owned pile. Renovated and/or assembled by music producer Danny Elfman in the 1990s, the house passed through the hands of several different owners — an actor, an interior designer, a venture capitalist — before eventually becoming that so LA thing of all LA things: a rehab center called Doron’s House.
In April of last year, the house-cum-treatment-center was put up for sale with an asking price of $2,595,000. After several months, the pricetag parachuted down to $1,995,000. In January (2017), at long last, the property transferred for $1,938,000 to a mysterious blind trust. Naturally, Yolanda’s friend Vlad the Revealer was curious about the identity of the new owner, and it wasn’t long before we discovered the shy individual is a talented young(ish) actor named Pablo Schreiber.
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38-year-old Mr. Schreiber already sports quite the varied acting resume — he’s a Tony-nominated Broadway actor and has starred on big TV programs such as Law and Order: SVU and The Brink. However, Mr. Schreiber is best-known to Yolanda (and most other folks) for his darkly funny portrayal of George “Pornstache” Mendez on the addictive Netflix show Orange is the New Black.
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From the narrow public road out front, the property presents as little more than a comically modest one-room shack. It’s all a facade, however, as the “room” is actually just a doorway to Narnia — or rather some steps that lead down, down, down to a mini-compound comprised of a multi-story main house and an itsy-bitsy casita. All told, there are 5 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms in a total of 4,680-square-feet of living space.
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In addition to the wonderful seclusion and privacy, perhaps the best feature of the property is an all-natural year-round waterfall and creek that gurgles on down the rocky hillside next to the house. And in keeping with the natural/rustic theme, there also ain’t no garage. single-car wooden carport and attached shed up near street level.
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Things are kept weird inside with leopard-print carpeting, a rather disturbing shade of lavender in a bathroom, and a caveman-like area with a primitive fireplace and chimney.
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Other parts of the house have clearly been renovated. There’s a large living room with a vaulted ceiling and piano-black hardwood floors.
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The kitchen is far too Flinstones-y for Yolanda, but we suppose it works with the overall vibe of the property. Elsewhere there’s a charming windowed dining room and a brick-tiled patio.
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There’s plenty of nature space on the .75-acre property. A pea-gravel terrace sports a standalone stone fireplace and the house itself appears to have at least one tree growing through it. Native sycamore trees add to the scenic beauty.
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Mr. Schreiber, bless his real estate heart, is not new to the Topanga community. Just last year he paid a scant $317,000 for a mobile home not far from his new mini-compound. Yes, you read that correctly. Mr. Schreiber lives in a Topanga trailer park. Or — more accurately — he lived in a Topanga trailer park. Property records show his mobile home was quietly sold again for $360,000 in November 2016. Way to keep it real for a whole eight months, Mr. Schreiber.
Oh, and that Mr. Schreiber would be drawn to an offbeat community like Topanga ain’t particularly a surprise. After all, he was birthed in a British Columbian hippie commune to an actor father and a psychotherapist mama (who also sired his arguably more famous older brother Liev Schreiber). Doesn’t get much more hippie-tastic than that.
Listing agent: Armine Badikyan, National Properties
Mr. Schreiber’s agent: Derek Weil, Pritchett-Rapf & Assoc.