Hey y’all, Yolanda had a long and stressful day shopping so instead of doing our usual blah blah blah crap we are gonna keep this short and super sweet for our sanity’s sake. Don’t complain, you ungrateful bitches. Just kidding! Yolanda loves anyone who deigns to read our stupid blog. Aw shucks.
A couple months ago, a celebrity-sized estate in Malibu’s famously celeb-friendly Serra Retreat guard-gated community sold for a fat $11,648,500. It should be noted that this house sits on an extremely expensive dead-end road where another homeowner is Hong Kong billionairess Karen Lo, who earlier this year paid a shocking $70 million for her epic estate.
Our friend Vlad the Revealer at Celebrity Address Aerial whispered to Yolanda that the house — the $11 million one — sold to a mysterious blind trust that obscures the true identity of the owner. Sure enough, property records reveal that an un-crackable blind trust did acquire the property. And Yolanda was very, very interested in learning the new owner’s identity when we noticed that the trust’s trustee is a business manager whose clients include a litany of A-list celebrity superstars.
So imagine our surprise when Yolanda’s thorough real estate investigation revealed that the new owner — who has already moved in — is not a celebrity at all but rather a low-profile businesswoman named Michaeline Heydari.
Mrs. Heydari is probably better-known by her maiden name of Michaeline DeJoria, so that’s how we will address her here. She is married to a guy named Nader “Nate” Heydari, and both are longtime Malibu residents.
Though chances are you’ve never heard of her, Ms. DeJoria’s Instagram and other online resources reveal that she maintains friendships with many famous folks. These include Miranda Kerr, Kourtney Kardashian, Lily Aldridge, and Pink. The DeJoria-Heydaris are such good friends of Pink’s, apparently, that Mr. Heydari once smashed a rogue paparazzo’s camera in anger after the fool allegedly tried to take pics of Pink changing her baby’s diaper (!!!). And let’s not forget that Ms. DeJoria’s older sister Alexis is married to Jesse James, Sandra Bullock’s cheatin’ ex-hubby. My oh my.
Where does Ms. DeJoria get almost $12 million for a luxury home? Well, it helps that her daddy is worth $3.2 billion, according to Forbes. John Paul DeJoria — that’s his name — was born and raised in LA’s Echo Park neighborhood and is a former street gang member who was homeless during his younger days. He’s now a selfmade multi-billionaire, the founder of Paul Mitchell hair care products and Patron tequila. Ms. DeJoria herself is now Vice Chairman at Paul Mitchell Systems and appears poised to eventually take control of the business from her dad. But we digress!
Ms. DeJoria’s new A-list-worthy estate spans 2.1 acres of land and has crystal clear ocean views.
The 1987-built house itself is somewhat of an architectural oddball. Yolanda rather worries that it can’t decide whether it wants to be Spanish, Mediterranean, or Contemporary. Or some combo thereof? Maybe the new owners can help fix the identity crisis we see bloomin’ here.
Current marketing materials contain no interior photos but do show that the two-story main house has 5 bedrooms and 7 baths in 5,763-square-feet of living space.
Floor plans show that master suite sports dual bathrooms and a spacious private balcony. Downstairs there is an office, a bar, and a five-car garage, in addition to all the other rooms you’d expect to find in a big fancy house.
The walled and gated property sports rows of palm trees on either side of the long driveway. The front of the house is mostly hidden from view behind a wall of (arguably overgrown) ficus trees, but we have to admit that the entry walkway is dramatic and kinda cool. A formal fountain lies out front, a saltwater pool sits out back. Other features of the estate include a “large rose garden”, a small detached storage building, and a proper north/south tennis court.
Miss DeJoria must be close to her daddy because her new house happens to be on the same road and only two doors away from his longtime Sweetwater Mesa compound. In addition to Karen Lo (who recently took out a massive $35 million mortgage on her hilltop palace), other richie rich neighbors include real estate ballers Richard & Laurie Lynn Stark (their main residence is right next door) and major Downtown LA developer Barry Shy.
Since 2011, Mr. Heydari and Ms. DeJoria have resided in Malibu’s celebrified Point Dume neighborhood, in a 1980s Spanish-style sprawler that they bought for $3,800,000. If the 5,588-square-foot thing above appeals to y’all and you’ve got $5 million (or so) to spare, give Ms. DeJoria a ring-ring. Although the house is not yet on the market, she and her hubby have already moved into Serra Retreat and Yolanda can almost guarantee that the old pad will soon be sold. Don’t say we didn’t warn ya…
Listing & Selling agent: Michael Gardner, Sotheby’s International Realty