We know there’s a thousand jokes we could make about the abrupt and already-contentious divorce of America’s Royal Couple (no, Kimye, not you two). But divorce is always extra-hard when there are young kids involved. And there are 47 of them involved in this case. Or something like that. So we’re gonna keep it classy and not delight in the misery of others — at least for today. Schadenfreude seekers, seek elsewhere. But check back tomorrow.
Given that Brangelina owned but a single Los Angeles compound — at least during the latter years of their erstwhile relationship — it surprised exactly no one when the Brit folk over at the Daily Mail confirmed that Ms. Jolie had taken her busload of kids and quietly set up (temporary) house in a fully furnished rental pad.
The crib in question is located way far out in the upper reaches of Malibu, comfortably away from most paparazzi. Specifically, the location is Point Dume. For all you newbies up in here, Point Dume has long been the most celebrity-heavy neighborhood in Malibu. The area is decidedly low-key, but the best blufftop homes here can fetch a sale price of more than $20 million or even $30 million.
Some famous current Point Dume residents include Mrs. Malibu (Barbra Streisand), James Perse, Aileen Getty, Chris Martin, Pink, Kid Rock, Ambassador Yousef Al Otaiba, Mike Fleiss, Chad Smith, Julia Roberts, Matthew McConaughey, and Sean Penn.
And that’s just a small sampling. Another (in)famous resident is director/producer Bryan Singer, who paid $8,500,000 for his Point Dume house back in 2010. It is here, at this house, where Ms. Jolie & co. have set up shop.
The Daily Mail reports that Ms. Jolie is paying $95,000 per month in rent. Now, kiddies, we’re aware this is Malibu and rental prices are thus outrageous. We’re also aware that Ms. Jolie is a very, very rich lady who can afford to pay $95,000 per month for a house and probably a lot more, too. But that figure sounds ludicrously high to Yolanda, to the point of being nearly unbelievable.
For one, it’s the off-season and rents in Malibu always come down when it’s not summer. Secondly, there are several other properties within walking distance of this house that are listed for rent. None of them are asking anywhere near $95k per month, save for Shaun White’s house (it’s currently asking $65k/month). Finally, Mr. Singer listed this very house two years ago at a rate of $50,000 per month.
But Ms. Jolie was probably pretty desperate for a quick getaway, so maybe she really is paying that much. We don’t think the Daily Mail would randomly conjure up the $95,000 figure, so we’ll take their word for it on this one.
Mr. Singer’s blufftop pad was built in 1958 and is located on Birdview Avenue, a street often considered to be the most coveted road on Point Dume for the magnificent westward views it possesses. Homes on the bluff side have unbeatable, jaw-dropping sunset vistas.
The low-profile and vaguely Japanese-style beach abode has a comfortable (but certainly not huge) 4,409 square feet of living space with five bedrooms and five bathrooms in the main house and a separate one bedroom, one bath guest house with an attached gym. Yolanda imagines the guest house will be occupied either by a bodyguard or a personal assistant/nanny of some sort.
Upon entering the home, a mahogany (?) staircase shows itself. Beyond that is a spacious great room with clear views to the Pacific. Maybe the three little Buddhas on the landing represent Ms. Jolie’s three former husbands? Will she dramatically shatter them on the bamboo (?) floors below? Stay tuned!
Elsewhere there’s a high-grade gourmet kitchen (not pictured), a lovely and square dining room table, and more wood-framed windows that take in the views.
The master suite is small compared to some of the humongous ones we’ve seen in recent weeks, but it’s got a private soaking tub for hot baths, a vanity, and access to a section of the home’s wraparound terrace. Nice outdoor dining table, too.
Ms. Jolie’s rental also comes with a state-of-the-art media room. According to the Daily Mail, our gurl has set up a “war room” where she and her advisors have holed up to deal with the drama and publicity whirlwind surrounding her divorce announcement. Yolanda wonders if this might be the room in question.
Should Ms. Jolie and/or her kids feel antsy in their no-longer-secret hideout, they can always turn to the 1.01-acre estate’s outdoor creature comforts. These include a private lagoon-style pool and separate spa surrounded by tropical landscaping, lounge chairs overlooking the sand and water below, and the aforementioned outdoor dining table.
There’s also a steep stone stairway that leads down the cliff to a locked gate by the public (and often very crowded) beach. But somehow we doubt whether Ms. Jolie and her kids will use that much. They’re laying low, remember?
The house happens to be directly across the street from an estate owned by actor Owen Wilson. Other famous and/or famously rich homeowners on the same star-studded road include Bob Dylan, Shaun White, Yife Tien, Anthony Hopkins, Mary Gerdts, and a whole bunch more that we can’t recall at the moment.
As for Mr. Singer, he makes his primary residence in an uber-modern two-house West Hollywood compound that’s located just above the world-famous Sunset Strip. It is here where Mr. Singer’s penchant for throwing wild pool parties that often featured scantily-clad and dangerously-young men gained him a certain “rep” in Hollywood.
Mr. Singer’s sexual affinity for nubile gents was an open secret in town for many years and was finally brought into the light during a widely-publicized lawsuit. Though the accuser eventually dropped his case against Mr. Singer, the director has since toned down his at-home bashes. He’s also become a father recently — his best friend gave birth to his son and the two are raising him together. These darn new-age Hollywood types, my oh my!
But we digress.
Yolanda would bet that after the smoke has finally cleared and the divorce papers signed in Wiccan blood, Mr. Pitt will stay put in his longtime Los Feliz compound (he’s owned it since the 1990s, after all) and Ms. Jolie will buy a new spread in Malibu or the Hollywood Hills area. Although she could afford any house she wants, we just don’t see Ms. Jolie as a Brentwood or Palisades mansion gal — or even a Beverly Hills gal, for that matter.
We could be wrong, though. Yes, even the great Yolanda gets it wrong on the rare occasion.