Ever since she co-wrote and co-starred in 2011’s runaway hit comedy Bridesmaids, Yolanda has been a big fan of actress Kristen Wiig. And unsurprisingly, the SNL alum and Emmy- and Academy Award-nominee has been very busy professionally in the past few years. Per our good friend — Ms. Wiki Pedia — she has appeared in about 20 feature films since 2011 and has made countless appearances on the boob-tube.

So when she sold her house in LA’s Franklin Hills neighborhood over the summer (for exactly $2 million), Yolanda thought sure Ms. Wiig was due for a residential upgrade. But where did she go?

Well, kiddies, Yolanda happens to know that Ms. Wiig has good taste and is making architecturally significant moves. In fact, she has run all the way out to the somewhat overlooked San Gabriel Valley area of LA. More specifically, Ms. Wiig has chosen the beautiful and historic San Rafael neighborhood of Pasadena as her next place of residence.

Records show that last month, a mysterious blind trust forked out $2,960,000 for Case Study House #10, which sits on what is often considered to be one of the most prestigious streets in the city.

For those who may not know, the Case Study program was an experiment in residential architecture to build inexpensive and efficient homes across LA, in an effort to deal with the housing boom created by soldiers returning home after WWII. The movement brought together many of the top architects of the day — y’all can read more about it here, if you so desire.

Anyway, Case Study House #10 was built in 1947 by father-and-son duo Kemper Nomland Sr. and Kemper Nomland Jr. The only case study house built in the city Pasadena, the property last sold in 2012 and was thereafter significantly remodeled into the confection that Ms. Wiig just bought for almost $3 million. Y’all can decide amongst yourselves whether the changes are improved upon the previous look.

The sloped structure sits on a corner lot, and the two-car garage and driveway is graciously tucked away on a side street. Meanwhile, the front of the property greets visitors with a gently sloping lawn and a walkway that leads to the wood-and-glass entryway.

Step down into the unexpectedly large combo living/dining room, which centers around a massive brick fireplace. Tall glass windows flood the room with light and overlook the home’s backyard.

Speaking of the .37-acre yard, it’s nicely terraced and updated with concrete patios, a firepit, and a pool (plus inset spa). There is also a small additional structure on the property, which could possibly function as a guest house, office, or a gym.

As y’all can probably tell, the kitchen has been thoroughly remodeled in a rather bland — if inoffensive — style. The 3,425-square-foot abode has 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, including a lovely master suite that Yolanda wouldn’t mind importing into her own house.

Other notable Pasadena residents include billionaire Charlie Munger, TV/radio personality Dr. Drew, rocker David Lee Roth, comedian Larry Wilmore, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Erika Girardi (aka Erika Jayne), and retired boxer Oscar de la Hoya, who lives right up the block from Ms. Wiig — albeit in a far more grandiose compound.

Listing and selling agent: Cynthia Luczyski, Deasy/Penner & Partners

Yolanda loves LA as much as the next gal, but the most frequent question we get asked is why we don’t focus on other areas of this beautiful sphere we call Earth. And so we thought we’d take a break from LA-related real estate tales in favor of a quick weekend getaway. We turn our property-hungry eyes turn to the north, to the fantastically scenic and exceptionally wealthy coastal community of Montecito, CA.

As we write this, Santa Barbara County is currently under siege by the raging Thomas Fire, and mandatory evacuations are in place for certain parts of Montecito. But Yolanda — relentless optimist that we are — refuses to dwell on the destruction. Onward we march.

Y’all may recall that Yolanda was the first to snitch about Ellen DeGeneres — Hollywood’s most ardent property lover/collector/flipper — paying $18,600,000 for a new beach house out in Carpinteria (CA), on celeb-friendly Padaro Lane, just a bit south of Montecito. Around that same time, she also listed her Santa Barbara compound for a fat $45 million (the asking price has since been cut to $39.5 mill).

What we didn’t know back then was that Ms. DeGeneres had already acquired yet another Santa Barbara County property, this one a 5.83-acre ranch located in prime Montecito. Our handsome and scholarly Santa Barbara-based friend Barbara Bane was the first to alert us to the quiet acquisition, which went down back in September (2017) with the aid of a blind trust.

At first reflection, it might seem strange that Ms. Degeneres would purchase two multi-million dollar properties in the same general area within a month of each other. But it’s not so odd. Really! After all, it is known that Portia de Rossi is fond of horses and the Carpinteria house is definitely not an equestrian-friendly property. And why would Ellen purchase just one gorgeous house when she can have two?

And yes, this place is gorgeous. Ms DeGeneres has an admirable fondness for architecture and historically significant homes, so it’s not such a big surprise that the ranch she has opted to purchase is the historic Rancho San Leandro compound, which (mostly) dates to the mid-1800s.

Yolanda is not sure if this is coincidence or not, but the ranch Ms. DeGeneres purchased a few months back happens to be directly next door to — and share a fence with — Oprah’s recently expanded 60+ acre Promised Land mega-compound. When Oprah and Ellen discussed being next-door neighbors a couple months back, they weren’t just whistlin’ Dixie.

Now, before you lookie-loos even think about cruisin’ by Ellen’s new pad, note that the property sits securely within the demure (and historic) Ennisbrook gated community.

You won’t be able to see anything from the public road. Once inside the community, however, a rustic stone wall and wooden gate allow access to the ranch within. Groves of olive trees line the long driveway, which travels past horse-friendly pastures on its way to the main compound.

The unconventional estate is made up of a 3,129-square-foot, single-story adobe house, built way back in 1845 and carefully preserved over the past 172 years. Then there is a 3,635-square-foot, 2006-built “Monterey house” that stands just across the shared courtyard. As far as Yolanda can tell, the historic adobe is intended to be the main living quarters — that’s where the master suite is located — and the Monterey house is the secondary quarters, with two small bedroom suited in the upper level for a total of 3 bedrooms and 4 baths on the property.

In addition to the two houses, there is a 798-square-foot barn with stalls and equestrian necessities (feed & storage area, etc).

The adobe structure has covered patios around the entire perimeter and includes a massive living/dining room combo with two fireplaces, one on either side of the room. The great room connects to a small kitchen and dining nook, and a separate corridor from the great room leads to the master suite, which has a fireplace and vaulted ceiling with exposed wooden beams.

The Monterey house also includes a kitchen with stainless appliances, a living room, and a lovely tile staircase that leads to the two cozy bedrooms upstairs, each of which is equipped with its own fireplace, bathroom, and walk-in closet. Outdoors, the property boasts views of both the mountains and the sea.

In an odd twist of fate — or maybe it wasn’t — the ranch that Ms. DeGeneres just acquired was purchased from American-born and New Zealand-based big businessman Tom Sturgess and his wife Heather, who happen to be the very same wealthy couple who sold Ms. DeGeneres her other Montecito compound, the one she bought in 2013 for $28.8 million and currently has for sale with a $39.5 million ask.

Although Mr. & Mrs. Sturgess made several million bucks in profit off Ms. DeGeneres in their first deal, they weren’t so lucky this time around. Records show they bought this property in 2016 for $7,370,000 and sold to Ms. Degeneres for the complicated price of $7,195,377. That’s a $174,623 loss for all you penny pinchers up in here.

We digress. In addition to her two Montecito ranches and her Carpinteria beach house, Ms. DeGeneres still owns a Wilshire Corridor condo and her main residence, a $16 million mid-century modern house in prime Beverly Hills. Altogether, she has spent more than $70 million on the homes in her current property portfolio. That is a lot of money, no question, but less it’s actually less than the stroke-inducing $77 million in pay she hauled in over the past year alone.

Listing agent: Riskin Partners, Village Properties
Ellen DeGeneres’s agent: Suzanne Perkins, Sotheby’s International Realty

Earlier today, Yolanda discussed Ellen DeGeneres’s new $7.2 million Montecito ranch. And if y’all have been following this blog for some time, y’all should know that there are lots of unexpected coincidences in real estate. And our Santa Barbara-based scholarly friend Barbara Bane alerted us to a real big coincidence: on the exact same day in September that Ellen bought her Montecito property, another nearby property — yes, in Montecito — also sold for $7.2 million to a different blind trust. And a little digging reveals that the buyer of this other house is also famous.

Said buyer is a publicity-eschewing La Canada Flintridge-based man named Gore Verbinski. Despite the fact that he has long deliberately maintained a low public profile, Mr. Verbinski is one of the most successful film directors in all the world, with nearly $4 billion in box office receipts and a range of work that ecompasses the first three films of the Pirates of the Caribbean film saga, The Ring, and Rango. It was that last film that won Mr. Verbinski the 2012 Academy Award for Best Animated Feature.

Although Ms. DeGeneres and Mr. Verbinski’s Montecito homes are in the same area and sold on the same day for almost exactly the same price, the vibe of each estate could hardly be more different. While Ellen’s pad is a relaxed and rustic adobe-style horse ranch, Mr. Verbinski chose a swaggering piece of contemporary architecture (with a panty-dropping infinity pool!) for his weekend getaway.

The 1.46-acre property sits privately down a quiet lane in the Montecito foothills. A long concrete driveway runs uphill to the motorcourt, which is surrounded crab-style by the blocky structure, which was built in 1993 but appears to have been updated since then.

Neutral-toned decor contrasts with the dark hardwood floors. The centerpiece of the house is the two-story family room — check out that fireplace.

Other spaces in the 6,551-square-foot main residence include a glassy living room (with a multi-million dollar view of the Pacific), a dining room w/ private terrace, and a clean-lined kitchen and breakfast nook that looks out toward the infinity pool and ocean beneath.

The house has a total of 4 beds and 7 baths. As you might expect, the master suite has walls of glass and a private balcony overlooking the backyard/pool area and the fantastically scenic vistas.

As Yolanda has already mentioned, Mr. Verbinski, his longtime wife Clayton, and their two children primarily reside just outside of LA in the wealthy but very low-key Crescenta/San Gabriel Valley community of La Cañada Flintridge.

It was only last June (2016) that Mr. Verbinski sold his starter La Cañada house for $2,750,000, even though he already upgraded to his current main residence (a much bigger La Cañada pad) way back in 2004 for $4,200,000. That residence contains a Mediterranean-style with approximately 7,200-square-feet of living space.

Listing agent: Riskin Partners, Village Properties
Gore Verbinski’s agent: Dana Zertuche, Coldwell Banker

Some time ago our scholarly friend Barbara Bane from Santa Barbara wrote in and asked if Yolanda would look into a mysterious entity — something called “E V Marvista LLC” that was going around Montecito and dropping enormous sums of money on some very substantial homes.

Way back in 2007, EV Marvista LLC paid $6,300,000 for an East Coast-style rambler in one of Montecito’s best pockets. In 2011, the same entity paid $16,000,000 for another Montecito mansion, and then in 2015 it bought a third for $6,845,000. That’s nearly $30 million in cash for three non-contiguous properties.

The real owner’s identity is locked up real tight behind the LLC, which links back to a prestigious San Francisco law firm known for representing high net worth individuals and families, naturally. But after weeks of research and numerous rabbit trails, Yolanda is about 99.9% positive that E V Marvista is a front for one of the Bay Area’s wealthiest humans: a manufacturing heir named Riley Bechtel. According to Forbes, Mr. Bechtel currently makes do with a net worth of $3.4 billion.

Our Mr. Bechtel is the now-retired Chariman of the Bechtel Corporation, the largest construction company in the United States and the 8th-largest privately-owned American corporation. To give you an idea of the size: the firm generates more than $32 billion in revenue each and ever year and employs 53,000 people.

Despite (or maybe because of) their vast net worth — they are one of America’s wealthiest families, after all — the Bechtels remain steadfastly discreet and shun publicity like the average person shuns public speaking. Anyway, we thought it might be a fun treat to take a real quick look at a portion of Mr. Bechtel’s substantial real estate holdings and see what we can see.

As we’ve mentioned, Mr. Bechtel paid $6,300,000 for his first Montecito house way back in 2007. The ultra-private wee estate is set far back down a private driveway and located just a few doors away from the Oprah Winfrey’s 60+ acre Promised Land estate.

In 2016, the house was put up for sale with a $7,950,000 asking price.

Unfortunately for Mr. Bechtel, it took more than 1.5 years and several price reductions before the property was sold this September (2017) for just $6,100,000 to a non-famous person. That’s a $200k loss for our boy, not counting taxes and fees and all that.

The Hamptons-inspired estate sits on 1.08 acres of land with lovely ocean views, lush lawns, and even a petite guest house/detached garage. There are 5 beds and 7 baths in about 5,700-square-feet of living space.

In 2011, Mr. Bechtel substantially upgraded his Montecito residential circumstances with the $16,000,000 purchase of a 12,000-square-foot mansion further up in the hills. The totally off-market transaction means that Yolanda does not have professional pics of the estate, but we do know that the bi-winged mansion sits on a fully landscaped 4.54-acre lot that lies on a private drive immediately adjacent to the ultra-swanky San Ysidro hotel & resort.

In 2015, Mr. Bechtel apparently decided 4.54 acres was not nearly enough space. He paid $6,845,000 for a smaller compound (photos above) that is located just north of his main residence. The properties are not contiguous, but they are located up the very same private driveway.

The 1.7-acre lot includes at least two traditional-ish structures, both of which have views of the Pacific.

Nice as Mr. Bechtel’s compound may be, it rather pales in comparison to his main residence up north.

We had a real devil of a time tracking down Mr. Bechtel’s main Bay Area residence, y’all. That’s mostly because Forbes lists his home as being in the city of San Francisco. After a lot of sleepless nights, however, Yolanda realized that Mr. Bechtel’s main abode is not located in SF — rather, he lives in the tony (and tiny) town of Woodside, CA.

Yolanda believes that Mr. Bechtel has owned his Woodside property for a very long time — since at least 1996 and probably a lot longer. Mr. Bechtel’s compound sits on nearly 13 acres of land and encompasses at least eight separate structures. There is a horse-riding rink, a tennis court, enormous lawns, a pool, formal gardens, plus off-street parking for dozens and dozens of vehicles. We’d estimate that the property is worth at least $20 million today.

Riley Bechtel’s agent: Susan Burns, Coldwell Banker

A few months back, as y’all may recall, Yolanda blabbed about a bananas $70 million (all cash!) sale in Malibu. At that time, it was the second-biggest transaction on record in the swanky coastal city (though it has since been bumped down to third place). The property is a massive blufftop mega-compound that many folks consider to be the most epic in town.

Y’all may also recall that the property was bought via an offshore corporation by a Hong Kong-based couple named Karen Lo and Eugene Chuang. Both Ms. Lo and Mr. Chuang are wealthy in their own right, we think, but Yolanda is certain that Ms. Lo is the one with the real serious big bucks, the one who can afford to snatch up 70 million dollar vacation homes.

To most of us paupers (or everyday millionaires), spending $70 million on a house is something so unfathomable that we can barely wrap our wee brains around the concept. But for those people who can spend that kind of money, too much is never enough and one ridiculously-expensive property would never do. And it turns out there is much more to Ms. Lo’s real estate tale than Yolanda previously knew.

Less than one month after Ms. Lo used an offshore corporation to purchase her Malibu home, a different offshore corporation paid $18,800,000 cash for a semi-historic home on what is often considered to be LA’s wealthiest and most prestigious street: South Mapleton Drive in Holmby Hills.

Unfortunately, Yolanda did not immediately connect the two real estate transactions, though we did notice the Mapleton sale and wondered who the buyer could be. After all, everyone on S. Mapleton Drive is someone and the offshore corporation that purchased the property is called “KYKL”. Yolanda wondered what those letters stood for — was it a weird sexual reference? Oh my!

But then all became clear. A few days ago, we noticed that Ms. Lo had listed a new mailing address for her Malibu property: the mailbox at that very same $18.8 million Mapleton house. And then Yolanda remembered that Ms. Lo’s full English name is Ki-Yan Karen Lo.

Get it? Get it?! K.Y.K.L.

The 6,055-square-foot Colonial-style mansion was built way back in 1939 and made famous for its starring role in the 1981 biographical drama Mommie Dearest. According to the folks over at The Real Deal, several scenes from Beverly Hills, 90210 were also shot at the property, despite the fact it is located in the 90024 zip code.

However, the most recent owners of the property were two brothers named Gurgen & Artyom Khachatryan. the sons of one Gagik Khachatryan, who just happens to be the Finance Minister of Armenia. The Kachatryan boys — who we have previously written about on this blog — bought the property in 2010 for just $11,000,000 and appear to have made few changes before selling it to Ms. Lo for $18.8 million.

Anyway, the mansion is more modest than most of its ostentatious neighbors and hearkens back to more gracious days of livin’ way back when. A dark green front door swings open to a staircase and double-height ceiling adorned with a crystal chandelier.

The property appears to have been well-maintained, and the retro kitchen has been upgraded with stainless appliances.

There are 6 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms — the upstairs master suite has views of the backyard and a lovely carved fireplace.

Speaking of the yard, it’s a generous 1.66-acres. There’s a large swimming pool, a low-slung pool/guest house, and a proper north/south tennis court to the rear of the estate.

Yolanda is not sure that all these features matter to Ms. Lo, however. The listing for the property touts its “incomparable opportunity to remodel or redevelop to build your dream estate in a location that epitomizes luxury & sophistication.” That doesn’t sound very promising for the ol’ gurl! Still, the house remains standing as of today.

It’s also worth noting that the property might be the only one on South Mapleton that is not gated or high-hedged. But don’t y’all even think about trespassing on Ms. Lo’s land! Her bodyguards have shotguns and they will not take kindly to any riff-raff disturbing the neighborhood peace.

Current South Mapleton Drive residents include (but are hardly limited to): billionaire beer/Twinkie heir Daren Metropoulos, Formula 1 heiress Petra Ecclestone Stunt, Duty Free heiress Alexandra von Furstenberg, construction heiress Kristin Tutor Eberts, Obama’s White House decorator Michael S. Smith, Google gigolo Eric Schmidt, Facebook trillionaire Sean Parker, Beats baller Jimmy Iovine, iconic restaurateur Michael Chow (that’s Mr. Chow to us peons), acclaimed director Sir Ridley Scott, private equity pasha Justin Chang and his wife Amanda Brown (she wrote Legally Blonde, dontcha know?), Jordanian billionaire Hasan Ismaik, vodka and music mogul P. Diddy (or Duffy Puffy or whatever Sean Combs calls himself today), former Paramount Pictures CEO Frank Mancuso Sr., and big businessman Marc Nathanson.

But wait, there’s more!

Next door to Ms. Lo’s “Mommie Dearest” estate is a rather neglected property. The 1.3-acre spread was for decades known as the “Bunny Hutch”, serving as the Playboy Mansion’s across-the-street guest house to hordes of Playmates and Playmate hopefuls.

Ol’ Hugh Hefner (may he RIP) fell on some difficult financial times a few years back and sold the property for exactly $10 million in 2013 to next-door neighbor David Kaplan, the hedge funder who already owns the big Traditional house next door (the one you see on the left in the photo up there).

Captain Kaplan made few (if any) changes to the property before listing it for sale this September (2017) for a fat $19,999,000. According to the listing, the house was swiftly “sold before processing” in an all-cash $17,250,000 deal. And though the owner took title under an LLC, Yolanda happens to know the buyer was none other than our Karen Lo.

Ms. Lo now lays claim to a 3-acre, $36,050,000 compound on LA’s swankiest street. And the $70 million Malibu spread! But wait, there’s still more.

Back in 2014, a developer named Robert Quigg paid $14,500,000 for a grand old Wallace Neff-designed house on a 1.37-acre Bel Air lot. Architecture lovers were dismayed when Mr. Quigg promptly razed the house (allegedly without the proper permits) and brazenly attempted to flip the vacant lot for $26 million.

In 2016, Mr. Quigg fled the USA for Australia with his mistress (this per Our Mama) and filed for bankruptcy, leaving his big Bel Air spread to be seized by the Feds. The property was put up for sale by the court this year and sold for $17,650,000 at auction. The all-cash buyer, per records, was something called “Dobacor LLC”.

Well, kiddies. Dobacor LLC happens to link directly back to the $18.8 million Mapleton house that Ms. Lo bought earlier this year. And a closer inspection reveals that the word “Dobacor” is actually an anagram for the word “Cordoba”, which just happens to be the name of a Hong Kong corporation that is majority owned by Ms. Lo, according to press reports. She bought a 39.4% stake in the company back in 2009 for about $57 million USD and has since increased her holdings.

Coincidence? Nope.

For her Malibu, Bel Air, and Holmby Hills properties, Ms. Lo has spent a mind-boggling $123,600,000 in the span of a few months. And all of it has been in cash, though records show she did recently take out a $35 million mortgage on the Malibu property.

Where does she get all that money, y’all may wonder.

Well, it probably helps that Ms. Lo is a member of not one buy two of Asia’s wealthiest clans. Her grandfather, the late billionaire Dr. Kwee Seong Lo, was the founder of the Vitasoy drinks empire that is second in Hong Kong popularity only to Coca-Cola. Over the decades, Vitasoy expanded internationally — it has a US headquarters in San Francisco — and the conglomerate even owned the world’s most popular tofu brand for a time.

As noted in press reports, Ms. Lo is also indirectly related to 96-year-old Macau casino tycoon Stanley Ho, who has a net worth of $2.5 billion. Her sister Sharon Lo has long been married to Lawrence Ho, Mr. Ho’s eldest son who has a net worth of $2.6 billion. Through her sister, Karen Lo is also related to Pansy Ho, the multi-billionaire heiress who was once believed to be the richest woman in all of Asia. (Forbes says she makes do with a net worth of $5.2 billion).

The Hos and the Los families (and the fact that Ms. Lo can drop $123 million on real estate) mean Yolanda is quite certain that our gurl herself is a billionaire, too.

We digress. Property records show that Ms. Lo is not entirely new to LA.

Back in April 2013, Ms. Lo paid $8,125,000 (in her own name) for two adjacent yet uncombined apartments in what is arguably LA’s best condo high-rise — Sierra Towers. The seller of both units, y’all may be interested to know, was fellow Malibu homeowner Cher.

In 2014, she sold the smaller unit to real estate super-agent Kurt Rappaport, who flipped it just two months later to a local jewelry designer. Property records indicate Ms. Lo continues to own the larger apartment, at one time reported to be the only duplex in the entire building. (Although we aren’t certain that’s the case anymore).

Perhaps even more shocking to Yolanda than Ms. Lo’s real estate appetite is the vast amount of money her two real estate agents — Million Dollar Listing stars James Harris and David Parnes — have raked in from commissions. Yolanda believes that Mr. Harris and Mr. Parnes represented Ms. Lo in all $123 million of her 2017 deals.

Let us just assume a 2.5% commission (the industry average) for each of these deals. That’s $3,090,000 in payments that these two realtors could potentially have received. That’s from one client in the span of about six months!

Sheesh.

Listing agents (Mapleton House #1): Christophe Choo, Coldwell Banker; Sally Forster Jones, John Aaroe Group
Listing agent (Mapleton House #2): Deedee Howard, The Agency
Listing agents (Bel Air): Jade Mills, Coldwell Banker; Phil Seymour, Elite Properties
Karen Lo’s agents: James Harris & David Parnes, The Agency

Yolanda is well aware that this story has already been featured on just about every real estate gossip website, but we are determined to hop on the bandwagon because Ms. Snyder has long been one of Yolanda’s absolute faves. She’s no Tina Trahan, mind you, but she comes close. And we have been drinking this evening, so there’s that. Don’t say we didn’t warn you! Meow. And time for a quick history lesson.

Way back in 1948, a nice young couple founded a small burger stand on the side of a highway in Baldwin Park, California, about an hour east of LA and a million miles removed from the glitz and glamour of Hollywood and Beverly Hills. Harry & Esther Snyder — for those were their names — started fryin’ burgers because they just needed income to provide for their two sons.

Along the way, the couple made history. One sunny day — so the stories go — Mrs. Snyder suggested to her husband that they should install a window on one side of their original location so people could drive up, order, and drive away. That foresight made her the “mother of the American drive-thru“.

Anyway, the rest of the story is pretty obvious. The Snyders were honest, down-to-earth folks who made some tasty food. Their little burger joint became popular. Eventually they opened a second nearby location, and then a third.

For all their unpretentiousness, the Snyders were also surprisingly shrewd businesspeople — they set up complicated trusts to ensure the business and their family wealth would be protected for generations to come. They carefully expanded and refused to ever franchise, go public, or sell out. They also paid their employees — associates, the Snyders called them — well above what their competitors did. In the short term, those decisions probably erased much of their profits and allowed their steadfastly mom-and-pop company to be dwarfed by their corporate rivals.

But those decisions also helped generate a legendary, almost cult-like mystique about In-N-Out that no other burger joint can touch. Today, In-N-Out is ranked as a better place to work than Google. And slowly, over time, the Snyder family became extraordinarily rich.

That’s not to say it was all smooth sailing to the top — far from it. Tragedy repeatedly struck the Snyder family. Harry Snyder died unexpectedly in his early 60s, and neither of the couple’s two sons lived to see their 50th birthdays. Rumors of cocaine use, adultery, and family tensions ran rampant at the company.

But against all odds, the company continue to prosper. And today, well, the rest is history. Some 60 years after In-N-Out’s founding, the firm now has 326 locations across six states and now hauls in $870 million in revenue each and every year. The company recently announced plans to open a new distribution center (and up to 50 drive-thrus) in Colorado.

And then there’s the family money. That is what we are gonna discuss today, right? Forbes says that 35-year-old Lynsi Snyder (the Snyders’ only grandchild and sole heiress to/owner of the firm) is now a billionaire — worth $1.3 billion, to be precise.

Ms. Snyder — who now reigns supreme as President, CEO, and owner of In-N-Out — is a bit of an unconventional heiress, as heiresses go. The burger billionaire is a drag racing aficionado, a devout Christian, and famously reclusive. Homegurl hardly ever grants an interview, although she did get surprisingly personal in a recent I Am Second religious-themed video.

Y’all should know that Ms. Snyder’s turbulent personal life has long been tabloid fodder, so we will keep it classy and not even mention it today. But we must note that Ms. Snyder is currently married to her fourth husband, a local San Gabriel Valley boy named Sean Ellingson. Our Mr. Ellingson is an ex-In-N-Out employee and also a military vet.

Ms. Snyder has a total of four children under the age of 12 — one with Mr. Ellingson, and three other kids from her two prior marriages. And though rumors of bickering persist, she remains close with her relatives, including her two older half-sisters and their extended families.

But we digress much too long. Property records (and Our Mama) reveal that Ms. Snyder used a blind trust to pay $17,411,000 (in cash!) in August 2012 for her current home, a 4.16-acre compound within the exclusive and guard-gated Bradbury Estates community. At the time, it was the second-biggest residential sale ever in the entire San Gabriel Valley. But it has since been bumped down to fourth place and now it’s popped back up for sale with a $19,799,000 ask.

At some 16,600-square-feet, the main house is  unquestionably giant. Then there are several additional structures on the 4.16-acre property — a 2,500-square-foot guest house, a 1,300-square-foot cabana — that balloon the compound’s total square footage to more than 20,000.

None of the estates’s 10 bedrooms or 16.25 (!!!) bathrooms have been photographed for the current listing, and a little birdie tells us that is because Ms. Snyder and her family are still currently living on the premises. It’s only natural that they wouldn’t want any pesky photographers disturbing their living quarters, after all.

For those who don’t know, the tiny and equestrian-oriented city of Bradbury is located deep in the San Gabriel Valley, in the foothills just below the Angeles National Forest. It’s about 22 miles northwest of downtown LA and only about 7 miles due north of the original In-N-Out Burger stand in Baldwin Park.

The hulking manor house was custom-built in 2010 by professional baseball player (and potential hall-of-famer) Adrián Beltré and his wife Sandra. The property was constructed by local luxury homebuilder Mur-Sol Construction.

Although it is located in a guard-gated community, the property itself is also double-gated and surrounded by a bevy of security cameras for the utmost privacy and security. That’s a boon to Ms. Snyder, who has suffered at least two kidnapping attempts in her life and Yolanda happens to know that she now employs a full-time personal security team with bodyguards and all that jazz.

Even so, despite all her precautions, Yolanda has also heard that Ms. Snyder suffered at least one security breach while living in this house. Perhaps that is why she has opted to move; perhaps not.

The interiors adhere to a very beige theme, and a quick comparison of listing photographs suggests that Ms. Snyder has done little to alter the residence during her five years of ownership. It even appears that she retains some of the same furniture that was in the house at the time she purchased it.

The kitchen is large enough to feed an army of folks: there are two Toyota-sized center islands and top-of-the-line appliances (Miele, Wolf, Viking) everywhere.

In true California style (would an In-N-Out owner have it any other way?) the property blends indoor and outdoor spaces with a full outdoor kitchen, fireplace, and extensive terraces with numerous options for dining or lounging. There arre deep, shaded dining and lounging loggias; vast terraces that step down to an infinity edge swimming pool and spa; a children’s playground with jungle gym and sunken trampoline; a north/south aligned tennis court and separate basketball court; built-in fire pit; several putting greens and sand traps set into an acre or more of rolling lawn (made of fake grass).

Also around is the big ol’ negative-edged pool and spa, which is accompanied by a house-sized pool cabana with a full outdoor kitchen and dining room.

All of this luxury might seem like wretched excess and way too much space for a 35-year-old gal. But y’all should keep in mind that Ms. Snyder has four childen and a husband. Plus Yolanda happens to know that she employs a small army of people to assist her family: nannies, maids, a driver/chauffeur, and the personal security team that we have already mentioned. Apparently Ms. Snyder likes living on an estate that feels more like a busy small city than a regular ol’ house.

Because of her large family and extensive staff needs, Yolanda can’t imagine that Ms. Snyder would downsize. But we also can’t fathom why she would need to upsize — 20,000-square-feet of living space is huge by any standard, and her property has plenty of land. And Ms. Snyder couldn’t leave LA entirely — all of her ex-husbands (two of whom are fathers to her first three childen) still live in LA.

Yolanda would guess that Ms. Snyder’s decision to move is driven by her desire for a change of scenery, and not the want to upsize or downsize. Maybe she’s planning to head over to the Westside? Or maybe she’s headed for one of the many guard-gated communities in Newport Beach, CA. That’s near In-N-Out’s Irvine headquarters and it is also where her uncle Rich was renovating his own celeb-pedigreed mansion before his untimely 1993 death in a private jet crash.

We shall see!

Before moving to Bradbury, Ms. Snyder lived for about 6 years in the guard-gated Gordon Highlands enclave in Glendora, CA, about 10 miles due east of her $20 million mansion. She bought the Tuscan-style mansion (above) as a spec-build in 2006 for $3,150,000 and sold it in 2013 for just $2,665,000. Coincidentally, the buyer of her Gordon Highlands mansion (a local car dealership mogul named Steve Nelson) spent a significant amount of money renovating the entire property and now has the 2.66-acre spread up for sale with a $4,278,000 ask.

Back in Bradbury Estates, Ms. Snyder has several interesting neighbors. Directly across the street from her estate is an even larger compound that is owned by “exiled” billionaire Hong Kong tycoon Yung “Benjamin” Yeung. And Adrián Beltré has purchased another property just a few doors down from Ms. Snyder, where he is custom-building another 20,000-square-foot mega-mansion.

Just a quick skip away from Ms. Snyder is Pastor Melissa Scott, whose 20+ acre ranch is probably worth $25 million or more today. And right next door to Pastor Melissa’s pad is a smaller ranch that was owned for decades by Jim & Eleanor Randall, who moved away from Bradbury two years ago, after paying $46,250,000 for the “Liongate” mega-mansion in prime Bel Air.

Even if Ms. Snyder were to sell her Bradbury property today, she would hardly be homeless. Records show she still owns a Hermosa Beach house that she inherited from her late uncle, as well as a 100+ acre fortified compound in the remote Shasta County area of Northern California.

Lynsi Snyder’s agent: Robin Marquez, Coldwell Banker

Point Dume, the very recognizable Malibu promontory that juts way out into the Pacific Ocean, has long been the most star-studded area of the city. Folks like Matthew McConaughey, Sean Penn, Chris Martin, Barbra Streisand, Owen Wilson, Bob Dylan, and Gerard Butler (and many more names we cannot remember) own in the neighborhood for the privacy its (relatively) large lots provide, the dazzling blufftop views, and the access it allows to Little Dume beach, which is about as close to a private beach as y’all will ever find in Southern California, where all beaches are public land, technically.

For all the money and fame crowded into the area, Point Dume remains remarkably unpretentious. The local shopping center is still anchored by a rather dowdy Pavilions, and there are lots of old trucks and other assorted clunker automobiles lining the streets. And although there are certainly grand mansions out there, many homes appear modest from out front. Sometimes deceptively so. Such is the case for a house that recently sold for a gruesome $21,000,000.

Located on the bluff side of uber-pricey Cliffside Drive — long considered one of the best streets in the neighborhood — the single-story sprawler features a front-facing two car garage. Little else is visible to the public. From the street, it appears to be a modest cottege shielded mostly behind a riotous hedge. In reality, however, the house contains a mansion-sized 6,107-square-feet of living space with 6 bedrooms and 6 bathrooms.

Way back in 2003, the successful and Emmy-winning TV show writer Bill Lawrence and his actress wife Christa Miller paid rocker Pat Benatar $4,500,000 for the house you see above. That’s right — in the span of 14 years, the $4.5 million house became a $21 million trophy property.

William “Bill” Lawrence, in case y’all didn’t know, is the co-creator of successful TV shows like co-creator of Cougar Town and co-creator of Spin City. He is best-known, however, as the sole creator of the medical comedy-drama series Scrubs, which aired in primetime from 2001 to 2010 and went into syndication. That show alone made Mr. Lawrence a bazillionaire. And yes, Yolanda personally checked his bank account to verify this.

We joke, of course.

Christa Miller — who has starred in several of her hubby’s productions — has been married to Mr. Lawrence for nearly 20 years and together the couple have three children who range in age from 11 to 17.

Yolanda is not allowed to post photographs of this Malibu house on our blog, unfortunately (don’t ask!) but y’all can view a bunch of them to your hearts’ content on Chris Cortazzo’s website. Hurry up and scoot your butts over there before they get taken down! And don’t say we didn’t warn y’all.

So who is the big-bucks buyer? Records reveal that it is someone Yolanda has never before heard of: an Omaha, Nebraska-based businessman named Steve Buchanan. According to our research, Mr. Buchanan is the owner and founder of Bucky’s, a convenience store and gas station chain with 79 locations across several Midwest states.

Records reveal that Mr. Buchanan currently resides — as y’all might expect — in one of Omaha’s wealthiest neighborhoods.

In June 2010, Mr. Buchanan paid $1,800,000 for his Omaha home. That seems like a lot of money to have spent in Nebraska, especially during the last economic recession, but Yolanda actually knows very little about Nebraska real estate. Maybe $1.8 million is peanuts in the fashionable areas of Omaha. We dunno!

And besides, the house is very nice. The 8,820-square-foot Tudor-style mansion is surrounded by lush landscaping that looks better suited to a Beverly Hills estate than to a pad out in the proverbial belly of the Middle America. The home was built in 1991 and has a generous 5 bedrooms and 6 baths, and the 1.76-acre property is located on a quiet cul-de-sac and neighbored by several other equally huge homes.

Anyway, let us examine the Malibu property. The house was never officially listed on the MLS, but it had been shopped around not-so-secretly by Mr. Cortazzo with a “price available on request”. The contemporary-ish ranch-style pad appears to have a new-ish wing added on that was integrated with the rest of the home in a not particularly cohesive manner.

Photographs show that the home’s front door opens into an open-concept combo living/family room with two rather ugly floral-print sofas. Directly adjacent is the dining area and the contemporary kitchen, which boasts expensive appliances. All main rooms have hardwood floors. Elsewhere there’s a wacky “movie room” with cobalt blue walls and a mini-fridge plus wine rack. Above the fridge is a neon sign with the word “scrubs” emblazened on it.

Hey, at least Mr. Lawrence doesn’t mind acknowledging what keeps his bread buttered.

The master suite has a private balcony, but it is the backyard itself that is the real star of the show with the huge infinity pool, a multi-level wood deck for entertaining, a sitting area centered around a firepit, a grassy lawn, and spectacular Pacific Ocean views that stretch down to the Palos Verdes Peninsula and Catalina Island.

And although we are not 100% certain, it also appears to Yolanda that this might just be the only house on Cliffside Drive that has a staircase leading down the bluff. Maybe that’s for a reason. Yolanda dug up evidence that indicates Mr. Lawrence was cited for the (allegedly) unpermitted staircase, but perhaps all that has been rectified now.

Bill Lawrence and Christa Miller mainly reside in the rustic Mandeville Canyon area in the Brentwood neighborhood of Los Angeles, where way back in 2007 they paid $12,600,000 for a 9,552-square-foot Traditional set on a private lane just off the main road. Other homeowners on the same little Brentwood lane include financial heavyweights like plane-crashing actor Harrison Ford, media scion Lachlan Murdoch, and magazine heiress Liz Goldhirsh Yellin.

The Miller-Lawrences have tried several times over the last decade to unload their big Mandeville Canyon house — first in 2010 at a nearly $2 million loss, again in 2011, and once more in 2013 — but for some reason they have not been able to get the damn thing sold.

Listing agent: Chris Cortazzo, Coldwell Banker

As raging wildfires continue to pillage Southern California, it troubles Yolanda how media attention seems to be focused on celebrities and their (sometimes tenuous) connections to the destruction, rather than the stories of the no-name Joe Blows  who are directly in harm’s way.

Admittedly, Yolanda herself is not immune to using the celebrity power to draw traffic to our own lil’ blog, but today we shall focus on a low-profile evacuee who nearly lost their brand-new home in a blaze, not some loud-mouthed Hollywood honcho who just wants everyone to know how very in peril they really are. Hey, and this is also a perfect excuse for Yolanda to blab about a big new mansion. Let’s go!

Last year, Our Mama over at Variety reported that successful TV/film producer Andrew Scheinman had listed a brand-new Bel Air contemporary with a fat $11,495,000 asking price. A few months later, the folks over at the LA Times followed up with news that the home had finally sold, albeit for a much-reduced $9,500,000. The buyer’s identity is carefully concealed behind an anonymously-named LLC.

Now here’s a wee geography lesson for y’all: although this house is located (technically) within the neighborhood of Bel Air, it should be noted that the property is actually much closer to downtown Brentwood than it is to ultra-prime East Gate Bel Air. In fact, the house is located so far west (very close to the 405 freeway) that it actually carries a Brentwood 90049 zip code, not Bel Air’s 90077.

But we digress. The new owners quickly moved in, but within a couple months they quickly moved back out again. That’s because this house was directly in the line of fire — pardon the bad pun — of the Skirball blaze, which scorched 422 acres in western Bel Air and destroyed several homes. Although this particular structure was saved, we are sure it must’ve been a tense few days there for the evacuated homeowner.

So who is the mysterious new owner? Yolanda happens to know that it is a prominent (and multi-lingual) cardiologist named Dr. Simon Stertzer and his lovely wife Kim. The couple — who own several homes across the US — have two college-age daughters.

While he’s certainly not a household name, Dr. Stertzer has quite the interesting background. By all accounts a brilliant physician, the NYU M.D. performed the first coronary angioplasty in the United States, and his since performed more than 12,000 coronary interventions. He continues to practice, but also — for at least the last 20 years or so — has served as a Stanford University professor.

In addition to his hospital and university work, however, Dr. Stertzer is also quite the entrepreneur and businessman. He founded Arterial Vascular Engineering, an angioplasty balloon and stent company that went public in 1996 and was acquired in 1999 by medical device giant Medtronic in a transaction valued at $3.7 billion. Our Dr. Stertzer would go on to found BioCardia, a biotech firm that is currently “trying to find a way to use stem cells to rejuvenate hearts damaged by heart attack”, per Forbes. Dr. Stertzer continues to serve as the company’s Chairman of the Board and remains the largest shareholder.

For all his success in business, research, and on the operating table, Dr. Stertzer still seems a somewhat controversial figure in the medical community. Perhaps that is due to his relentless pursuit of lucrative entrepreneurship opportunities, sometimes at the expense — so it would seem — of common sense.

In 2001, Dr. Stertzer purchased two strip clubs (yes, strip clubs) on a “seedy” stretch of Las Vegas Boulevard. It should be noted that one of the clubs — Palomino — is the only strip joint in Vegas allowed to serve alcohol and feature fully nude dancers. Keep in mind, y’all, that at this time Dr. Stertzer was employed by Stanford University and was already one of its most renowned professors.

But wait, it gets even better. Was Dr. Stertzer planning to close down the joints and turn the clubs into his Vegas — ahem — research centers? Nope! Our boy proudly announced his plan to refurbish the clubs and have the nude dancer profits be directed to fund his Stanford research! He even called the deal a “sensible diversification” of his investment portfolio.

Poor uptight ol’ Stanford was forced to release a statement distancing itself from the sexy establishments. And the negative publicity eventually forced Dr. Stertzer to quietly slink away from Vegas with his proverbial tail between his legs. Yolanda rather wonders how Dr. Stertzer (or anyone) couldn’t have foreseen the criticism this venture would engender?

But Yolanda is not here to discuss morality. Where were we? Oh yes, burned-up Bel Air…

The spec-built 6,020-square-foot mansion presents itself as a single story sprawler from out front, but drops down mullet-style to three floors out back. Indoors, as y’all might expect, the residence is packed with expensive materials and every possible gadget: wide plank hickory hardwood floors, a top-of-the-line home automation and security system, an audio system with more than 40 glass carbon fiber built-in ceiling speakers, and a carbon water filtration and softening system.

A comfy-lookin’ living room featured a quartz-faced fireplace and floor-to-ceiling glass walls that magically disappear upon the touch of a button.

The family room and kitchen function as a single unit and share the same hickory hardwood with the rest of the home. The kitchen area features unique snow-white quartz countertops, marble walls, and white oak wood cabinets. Naturally, all the appliances are the very best available.

We must say — Yolanda is always a sucker for a light-filled kitchen with views, and thus we absolutely love this one.

The house features a total of 5 bedroom and 5.75 bathrooms. As you might expense, the master suite is decadent with its fireplace, private (if slim balcony), glass-walled shower, and closet with custom cabinetry.

The backyard is surprisingly small — maybe that’s a function of the rather paltry .38-acre lot — but it does contain all the requisite luxury resort features: terraces for dining, a swimmin’ pool and party-sized spa, a firepit, and an outdoor kitchen area complete with a pizza oven. There are long, broad views that sweep over Brentwood and Santa Monica, all the way to the Pacific Ocean.

Frankly, y’all, Yolanda rather loves the interior here. Or is that just the early morning booze talking? We do not, however, love the bland, corporate office vibe the exterior is giving us.

We hope the Stertzers have been able to move back into their new house. But at least they’re rich and don’t have to worry about being homeless, right? As you might expect for someone of his high net worth, Yolanda’s research indicates that Dr. Stertzer owns several other luxury residences around the USA: a custom-built $6.1 million mansion in Santa Fe, New Mexico, a 50+ acre ranch in Jackson, Wyoming, and a $10.8 million mansion up in Silicon Valley — in pricey Woodside, CA — that the good doc just sold last month to a mysterious blind trust that Yolanda has not been able to crack.

But no more strip clubs are in the doc’s portfolio, at least not as far as Yolanda can tell…

Listing agent: Paul Czako, Gussman Czako Estates
Dr. Simon Stertzer’s agent: Heather Gussman, Gussman Czako Estates

Though it is perhaps the most powerful talent agency in LA, William Morris Endeavor (WME) has been the subject of some rather undesirable press coverage in recent weeks. For those who may not know, WME was formed in 2009 from the merger of William Morris Group and the Endeavor Talent Agency, the latter of which had been run very successfully by the dynamic duo of Patrick Whitesell and Ari Emanuel. The pair now serve as co-CEOs of WME. And while it is Mr. Emanuel who commands the lion’s share of press, Yolanda thought it might be fun to briefly discuss Mr. Whitesell’s recent real estate activities. We have already discussed those of Mr. Emanuel, after all. (Spoiler alert for those who don’t know: Mr. Emanuel owns two Brentwood mansions).

Anywho. In February 2006, Mr. Whitesell and his then-new wife Lauren Sanchez paid $11,000,000 for an 8,860-square-foot mansion in the celeb-popular Beverly Hills Post Office area of LA, where all the homes have the coveted 90210 zip code but are technically not within Beverly Hills city limits, leaving them to make do with LA city services.

The blended family — he’s got a teenage son from a prior relationship, she’s got a teenage son with retired football star Tony Gonzalez, and together they also have two preteen children (one boy, one girl) — continues to reside on the 1.25 acre hillside property. Yolanda dug up a rather flowery old listing that says the mock-Med house has “South of France architecture” (calm down, gurl) and “outstanding integrety [sic]”. Mmmhmmm, Yolanda says. We’re absolutely certain that the Whitesell palace is the residential version of a mentsch, but perhaps our esteemed Rabbi Hedda will be gracious enough to confirm that in the comments section on this post.

The 8,860-square-foot mansion has materials imported from France (maybe there is some truth to that architecture statement? Nah…), a “chef’s kitchen”, a home theater, and 5 bedrooms and 6.5 baths. In a rear corner of the property is a two-story guest house of unknown size that features an additional 3 beds and 2 baths. Naturally there’s a pool/spa combo, a large grassy lawn, and a commodious gated motorcourt. The property is located on a little-known cul-de-sac that is shared with only three other homes, all of them much smaller than Mr. Whitesell’s pad.

Behind Mr. Whitesell’s wee estate is a lot that has been vacant for as long as Yolanda can recall. It was purchased way back in 2003 for just $800,000 by the late, great director/producer Tony Scott, who left it undeveloped and perished several years ago (in August 2012) after jumping off a San Pedro bridge. RIP.

Records show that Mr. Scott’s widow Donna sold the vacant lot in an off-market deal on August 17, 2017 for $2,850,000 to prominent local real estate agent Ben Bacal and prominent local attorney Ronald Richards. Bizarrely, Mr. Bacal and Mr. Richards flipped the vacant property just six days later — on August 23rd — to Mr. Whitesell for $4,800,000. That’s a $1.95 million profit earned in less than a week.

Yolanda is not sure how Mr. Bacal and Mr. Richards pulled off that little switch-a-roo, but there you have it. Maybe they didn’t let Widow Scott know they already had a big-bucks buyer lined up?

We digress. It should be noted that while the 1.8-acre vacant lot is large on paper, a substantial portion of that space is unusable hillside land. And while there’s no telling what intentions Mr. Whitesell (and Ms. Sanchez) have for the property, Yolanda would bet that it will either be left vacant or — more likely — be integrated into their current estate as additional garden space or perhaps a pad for a new tennis court. Or perhaps it could serve as a landing pad to accommodate Ms. Sanchez’s helicopter habit? She is now a full-time pilot, dontchaknow.

As for Mrs. Scott, for the last few years she has been living in the San Fernando Valley community of Encino, where in April 2013 she paid $5,550,000 for a nearly 12,000-square-foot mansion that was sold by sitcom star Kevin James. She also owns not one but two homes in the exclusive guard-gated Malibu Colony community — one right across the street from the other. And finally, Mrs. Scott also still holds the title to the John Barrymore estate in B.H.P.O., just down the street from Patrick Whitesell’s abode. The multi-structure compound is currently saddled with a reduced $19,999,000 pricetag and appears to be in remarkably well-preserved condition, though the property has now sat vacant for nearly 5 years.

More than two years ago, in July 2015, a freshly renovated contemporary residence located in the Beverly Hills Post Office neighborhood sold for $5,470,000. The hidden property, which is situated at the end of a dead-end street and tucked behind a long gated driveway, was acquired by a mysterious corporation called “32 Wheeler LLC” with links to a prominent LA law firm.

Naturally, Yolanda was curious about the buyer and so we immediately began researching the entity that purchased the place. But our efforts were stymied! The owner’s identity is locked up real tight. And then we got distracted by other big transactions. Eventually, your gurl completely forgot about the property.

Fast forward to June 2017, when the Traditional-style house immediately next door to the aforementioned contemporary sold for $5,050,000 in a secret off-market deal. The buyer was a different corporation that links to an entirely different address — a New York City-based law firm this time. Some extensive digging, however, reveals that both properties were definitely acquired by the same mystery individual. But who?

At first Yolanda suspected that the buyer was some prominent foreign national or shady businessman. But thanks to a stroke of good luck (and much to our surprise), we have finally discovered that the secretive owner is none other than Hollywood actress Kerry Washington.

Though Ms. Washington has been bouncing in Hollywood since she was a teen, success did not come easy or overnight. Far from it. In fact, homegurl was a real late bloomer in the business. It wasn’t until she turned 35 — at which point most A-list actresses’ careers have already begun a slow, sad descent — that her own professional highway ride got kicked into high gear and the big bucks began rollin’ on in. It was in 2012, you see, when Ms. Washington landed the plum role of Olivia Pope in the ABC series Scandal, a runaway hit TV show that is currently airing its seventh (and final) season.

Ms. Washington’s role as Ms. Pope garnered her numerous award nominations and worldwide fame, plus additional recognition for her role as a style influencer.

Ms. Washington is married to a retired NFL star turned actor named Ezenwa Nnamdi Onyekachi Asomugha, who usually (and thankfully) goes by the shorter name of Nnamdi Asomugha. Our Mr. Asomugha played for the the Oakland Raiders, the Philadelphia Eagles and the San Francisco 49ers during his professional football career, which ended in 2013. Since then, he has kept busy by transitioning to Hollywood, where in 2017 he produced and starred in the Amazon Studios film Crown Heights. For his role in the film, Mr. Asomugha was nominated for a prestigious Independent Spirit Award.

It should be noted that Mr. Asomugha and Ms. Washington deliberately strive to keep a low profile and have rarely been photographed or even seen together since their 2013 marriage. We do know, however, that the couple have two young children (one boy, one girl) and both are frugal, $10.5 million compound be damned. Our boy Mr. Asomugha still drives his 20-year-old Nissan Maxima (he’s also got a used Range Rover, but we digress) and Ms. Washington was once ridiculed by Page Six when she moved to New York and admitted in an email to friends that she was hoping to find a furnished NYC apartment to rent at the price of $3,000 per month. For those of y’all who don’t know, it’s near impossible to find a furnished dumpster in Manhattan for $3,000 per month.

Keep in mind that this letter was written in 2009, way back when Scandal was just a twinkle in Shonda Rhimes’ eye and long before Ms. Washington became a multi-millionaire. Back then, she was just your average C-list actress lookin’ to stay employed. Can y’all really blame a gal for trying to find a deal?

So while pampered folks may have gotten a chuckle outta her email, guess who got the last laugh? The lady with the $10.5 million compound, that’s who. Now let’s check out her A-list-style digs in the 90210. First up is the flag lot-sited house she bought two years ago.

An exceedingly narrow driveway leads between two neighboring properties — both of which are obscured by tall hedges — to a compact motorcourt with a handy turntable to assist in maneuvering vehicles. Property records say the concrete edifice was originally built in 1963. While the house seems unique, it is the car in the upper right photograph that commands Yolanda’s attention. That is a 1991-1994 Alfa Romeo Spider, a buggy little beast that Yolanda likes to think of the Italian spiritual predecessor to today’s Mazda Miata. We love it. And you can still find a decent example for less than $10k, so what are y’all waiting for? Get collecting!

The glassy front door opens to a double-height entryway with one of them pokey new-fangled chandeliers. From there, a glass divider sets off the dining room, which has another pokey chandelier and opens to the living room and sitting area. All of the interior spaces have views of the lush backyard, and most also feature distressed white oak flooring. The kitchen features expensive Thermador appliances and solid walnut cabinetry.

While no doubt expensive, all that walnut looks a bit too dour and 80s (in Yolanda’s useless opinion). If we were Ms. Washington, we would paint those cabinets a lighter, brighter color.

The 5,153-square foot home is definitely big but not mega-sized, and the residence features a total of 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms. The master suite is clearly meant to wow with its verdant, forest-like views, fireplace, and separate sitting/reading area. The master bath features a party-sized shower/spa combo with all marble walls.

The exceptionally private backyard is compact but still features a groovy triangular (or is it quadrilateral?) pool, a dog-run-sized patch of grass, and an outdoor BBQ station.

Yolanda happens to know that Ms. Washington and Mr. Asomugha are living in the contemporary house — the one we just discussed — and have so far done nothing with the property next door, the one they bought six months ago. And while there’s no telling what their plans may be, Yolanda would guess that they’ll either level their latest acquisition to add more yard space, or they’ll keep it vacant to act as a buffer property. Or perhaps a guest house?

In any case, the Traditional property has a bit of a celebrity history: it was home to actor Charles Starrett in the 1940s and was also owned for many years by Dynasty actress Linda Evans, who sold it in 2011 for just $2,700,000.

Although only slightly smaller — 3,904-square-feet of living space with 4 beds and 5 baths — the house next door is a much different flavor. Instead of a two-story contemporary, this place is a single-story Traditional with red brick facade. The property is double gated and features a nicely-landscaped front yard that is somewhat ruined by the ugly asphalt driveway.

Indoors, the front entryway leads to a compact kitchen with a hooded center range that looks more like a torture device or the long-lost top to King Tut’s sarcophagus. Out back, the sloped backyard is quite small — especially for a $5 million house — but it does feature loungin’ space and a brick patio. Just don’t go outdoors after you’ve knocked back a few. One false step and y’all will be bobbing for apples in Ms. Washington’s pool.

The B.H.P.O. area has long been popular with famous folks. And indeed, some of Ms. Washington’s nearest neighbors are also heavyweights in their own arenas. Directly next door to her compound is a house that has long been owned by Golden Globe-winning actress Linda Cristal. Next door to Ms. Cristal is a much larger mansion that was recently sold by billionaire heir Kevin Washington (no relation to Kerry Washington) for $13,500,000 to financier-turned-film producer William Sadleir.

Also within sugar-borrowing distance are the homes of Queen Latifah, Amy Adams, and Steve Martin. And just behind Ms. Washington’s compound — a quick skip up the hill — is a massive mansion that for nearly 20 years has been home to billionaire Do Won Chang, founder of Forever 21.

In addition to their new 1-acre 90210 compound, Ms. Washington and Mr. Asomugha maintain an extensive real estate portfolio: a $3 million house in Manhattan Beach; small homes in Alameda and Hawthorne, CA; and commercial property in Inglewood and Torrance, CA. Last year, they sold a celeb-pedigreed Hollywood Hills compound for $2.68 million. Not bad for that gal who couldn’t find a flop house in NY within her budget.

Listing agent (house #1): Ernie Carswell, Douglas Elliman
Kerry Washington’s agent: Stephen Sigoloff, The Agency

Once upon a time, kiddies, there lived a Dutch professional footballer (that’s soccer player to all us Yanks) named Nigel de Jong. And a long time ago, in a galaxy far away, Mr. de Jong signed a one-year deal with the LA Galaxy. You know, the soccer team. Okay, it was actually in January 2016 when this all went down.

Perhaps Mr. de Jong was hoping to extend his contract, because within a couple months he was in escrow on a brand-new Encino mansion. Records show he paid $4,300,000 for the big, fancy house.

Unfortunately, even the best-laid plans get bamboozled. Or whatever the saying is. After the hot-headed Mr. de Jong received multiple suspensions following fouls and unsportsmanlike conduct on the field, he and his team mutually agreed to go their separate ways. And so, only 3 months after buying his big new Encino pad, our Mr. de Jong quickly departed for Istanbul, where he signed a new contract with Turkish soccer club Galatasaray. Within a month of the move, his barely-lived-in LA house popped up for sale.

Though it took a full year, the mansion sold again (in October 2017) for $4,300,000 — exactly what Mr. de Jong had originally paid for the property. The buyer’s identity is purposely screened behind a blind trust.

Now then, y’all. If you didn’t know, the San Fernando Valley community of Encino has recently become something of a Mecca for family-oriented celebrities looking for a quiet (yet convenient) place to raise their kids. And so Yolanda was naturally curious about the identity of the wealthy new owner.

Our curiosity was only compounded when almost immediately after the transaction closed in October (2017), a local lady named Stephanie Anderson and her children moved into the property. But Yolanda could not figure out how the heck Ms. Anderson — who does not appear to be gainfully employed — could afford a $4.3 million, mortgage-free house. We were stymied for the longest time, truly.

But then, after we had asked everyone, a catty little birdie whispered — and Yolanda has now confirmed — that Ms. Anderson is the longtime mistress of a businessman named Eduardo “Champ” Calvo.

While far from a household name on continental USA, Mr. Calvo is something of a celebrity on his homeland of Guam. For those of y’all who flunked geography class in middle school, Guam is a U.S. territory island way out in the western Pacific Ocean, roughly 1,500 miles east of the Philippines and 4,000 miles west of Hawaii (which is where Ms. Anderson was born and raised, we have been told). The island is smallish — only 210 square miles and approximately 160,000 residents.

Anyway, our homeboy Mr. Calvo was born into the Calvo clan, which has long reigned supreme as the wealthiest and most politically active family on the island. In fact, Mr. Calvo’s first cousin Eddie Calvo currently rules Guam (as governor) and in his position reports to President Donald Trump, or however our political hierarchy works. Yolanda admits she flunked PoliSci.

As for our Mr. Calvo — Ms. Anderson’s man — he was educated in California and has become a prominent businessman in his own right. His company, Guam YTK Corp, recently made news when it was controversially awarded $14 million by the Superior Court of Guam in a dispute with the island’s Port Authority over a long-term lease held by the firm.

Mr. Calvo, however, lives primarily in California. There he currently serves a partner at a San Francisco law firm he founded. One of his associates is his Stanford-educated attorney son Christian Calvo, who is the offspring of his wife (and not Ms. Anderson).

We digress. Mr. Calvo and Ms. Anderson have three or possibly four children together, at least two of whom are also now adults and all of whom carry the Calvo surname.

The 7,000-square-foot mini-compound sits on a .41-acre corner lot and borders a very busy street that happens to be one of Encino’s main roadway arteries. That could be a good or bad thing, depending on one’s point of view.

Naturally, the entire property is walled and gated for privacy. The front-facing three car garage is visually softened by the driveway’s grass strips, which may or may not be faux. The Traditional-style manse has a kitschy covered porch before the front door, which opens rather inelegantly to the fireplace-equipped, double-height living room. Inoffensive pastels and neutral colors fill the interior.

The living room opens to the formal dining room, which in turns has French door access to the backyard. A pass-through from the dining room leads to the kitchen, which has a massive marble-topped center island, top-of-the-line stainless appliances, and medium brown hardwood floors. The kitchen opens to a TV-equipped family rooms with disappearing glass doors that lead out to an outdoor terrace.

Also on the ground floor is a home theater, a maid’s suite, and a mud room/laundry room. Upstairs are four bedroom suites including the master, which has a private terrace and a resort-like bathroom complete with a de rigueur glassy shower and a trough-like bathtub. The residence has a total of 5 beds and 6 baths.

Out back is a large grassy play area, an outdoor kitchen/BBQ center, a pool w/ inset spa, and a poolside cabana outfitted like a comfy lounge.

When he’s not in Guam or visiting Ms. Anderson and their children in Encino, Eduardo Calvo shacks up in the Silicon Valley area of Northern California. Way back in 2004, records show that Mr. Calvo forked out exactly $4,000,000 for his big Bay Area mansion in the super-swanky town of Atherton, CA. The 1-acre lot features a rambling main house, a guest house, a pool house/cabana, and a sports court.

Yolanda would guess that the property is probably now worth double the $4 million that Mr. Calvo paid more than a decade ago (and possibly more).

For what it’s worth, Mr. Calvo’s Atherton compound sits on what is probably one of the richest blocks in all of Silicon Valley. Immediately next door to his property is an enormous estate that is owned by multi-billionaire private equity guru George Roberts. Next door to Mr. Roberts’ pad is a 13,000-square-foot mansion that was bought for $25,000,000 in 2014 by Chinese multi-billionaire real estate tycoon Liu Zhiqiang. And next door to Mr. Liu is a sizzlin’ 23,000-square-foot contemporary mega-mansion that sold late last year for a whopping $33,400,000 to 24-year-old Zhang Zetian and her much older multi-billionaire hubby Liu Qiangdong, who is often called “the Jeff Bezos of China”.

Those are the kind of folks you’d expect to find in America’s wealthiest zip code, right?

Listing agent: Lucinda Blencowe, Nourmand & Associates
Stephanie Anderson’s agent: Matt Epstein, Berkshire Hathaway HomeService

Y’all may (or may not, depending on how much booze you’ve imbibed in the last 24 hours) recall that yesterday Yolanda discussed Stephanie Anderson, a low-profile gal who just paid $4,300,000 in what appears to have been an all-cash deal for an Encino mansion briefly owned by soccer star Nigel de Jong.

As one might expect, Ms. Anderson’s big mansion upgrade meant that she no longer needed her old house, a “Spanish style” (per the listing) mini-mansion located in the hills of Studio City. Records show that Ms. Anderson’s blind trust sold the property in September (2017) for $3,400,000, comfortably above the $2.8 million she paid for the spec-house in late 2012.

Records reveal the buyer also used a blind trust to cover their tracks. However, Yolanda happens to know that the happy new owner of Ms. Anderson’s old pad is Patton Oswalt, a comedian and actor who has starred as Spencer Olchin in the sitcom The King of Queens (1998–2007), voiced Remy in the film Ratatouille (2007), and played multiple identical brothers, the Koenigs, on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (2014–17). Yolanda has never seen any of those films or shows, so we cannot comment on Mr. Oswalt’s acting chops, but it should be noted that Mr. Oswalt has won both an Emmy and a Grammy over the course of his career.

For all his success, however, the Virginia-born Mr. Oswalt has also faced great tragedy. In April 2016, his first wife Michelle McNamara died in her sleep in the family’s Los Feliz home due to a previously undiagnosed heart condition and complications from prescribed medication.

Luckily for Mr. Oswalt, he was fortunate enough to find a new life partner — he and actress  Meredith Salenger got hitched just this November (2017). Mazel tov! Unsurprisingly, Mr. Oswalt sold off his sad Los Feliz place and went looking for a pad to fill with joyous marital memories. Or something like that.

Anyway, they took a shine to Ms. Anderson’s house.

The first thing Yolanda noted about this house is that it is sited on an extraordinarily narrow (if deep) .29-acre lot. Thus the 5,945-square-foot mansion itself is inordinately long and narrow, seemingly filled with never-ending hallways and a epic staircase that looks like it requires a good 5 minutes to ascend or descend. Maybe Mr. Oswalt and Ms. Salenger were looking for a house that would keep them in shape? If so, they certainly chose wisely.

Though the property is situated on a quiet street, it does back directly up to busy-busy-busy Laurel Canyon Boulevard, not necessarily the most ideal situation. But we digress.

The front door opens rather rudely into the double-height living room. We’re not sure if this is necessarily in keeping with the “Spanish” theme, but the whole house is filled with medium-brown hardwood floors and wood (and wrought iron) accents on the doors, windows, everywhere.

As you might expect of a $3.4 million mansion, there is a movie theater, a wine cellar, and a library. It appears to Yolanda that Ms. Anderson had already moved out of the premises by the time these listing photos were taken. Either that, or maybe she doesn’t like to read?

Continuing down the center hallway leads to the formal dining room, which is just beyond the Viking appliances-equipped kitchen. A center island has bar-style seating and opens to the family room, which has French door access to the backyard terrace. There is also a maid’s bedroom suite on the ground floor.

Up that frightful flight of stairs lies four more bedroom suites, including the master. There is a pitched, all-wood ceiling in the bedroom, a private covered balcony overlooking the backyard, and a spacious bathroom with marble floors, dual vanities, a built-in soaking tub, and a glassy shower.

The tropically-landscaped backyard features an outdoor dining area, a grassy play area, and a sparkling pool/spa combo with waterfall feature. And let’s not forget the small guesthouse (of unknown square footage) at the very rear of the property. It contains a kitchenette plus lounge area and another bedroom/bathroom plus a walk-in closet.

Stephanie Anderson’s agent: Matt Epstein, Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices
Patton Oswalt’s agent: Claudia Hipolito, Coldwell Banker

Ever since he sold his marital home in the guard-gated Mulholland Estates community for $8,700,000 to — as Yolanda first revealed — rapper Big Sean, Yolanda has wondered to where our ol’ rocker boy/guitarist extraordinaire Slash had vanished. And after some extensive sniffin’ around (and a helpful hand from our friend Vlad the Revealer at Celebrity Address Aerial), we have tracked him down to the very suburban yet quietly celeb-flooded San Fernando Valley community of Encino.

Encino, y’all see, is a generally quiet bedroom community that has become an increasingly popular choice for moneyed and family-oriented celebrities. Our Mr. Slash — birth name Saul Hudson — has splashed the cash on a $6,250,000 new spec-mansion compound with a total of 9,400-square-feet of living space. Not much of a downgrade from his old 11,000-square-foot 90210 mansion, is it?

The house sits on a .72-acre corner lot in a prime south-of-Ventura Boulevard area of Encino. Naturally, the entire property perimeter is completely walled, gated, and camera-armed for the utmost security and protection. Two driveway gates silently glide open to reveal the wraparound motorcourt and front-facing three car garage.

Main living areas in the structure — let’s call it a Traditional with a trendy contemporary twist — are set off by brushed white oak flooring. Up front is a high-ceilinged living room with a fireplace, around this or that corner is a cozier family room (also with a fireplace) that features one of those chic walls of glass.

The family room conveniently opens directly to the kitchen. Now, kiddies, Yolanda is used to seeing fancy kitchens in these new mansions, but this has got to be one of the swankiest we’ve beholden. Check out that enormous SubZero refrigeration unit, which features a center wine cooler. That’s a monster!

Also in the kitchen is a giant Wolf range and two center islands, both with Calacutta marble countertops (the second island features six bar-style chairs).

Recreational amenities include a home theater/screening room, a game room (with an air hockey table), and a home office/library with a disappearing glass doors that bring in the sunshine. Beyond is a covered loggia with lounge-style outdoor furniture.

The residence has a total of 6 beds and 9 baths (or 10 baths, depending on where you look). The upstairs master suite features a sitting area, an outdoor balcony, a bathroom with party-sized shower, and a designer-done walk-in closet with custom cabinetry. Looks fancier than many of our Rodeo Drive boutiques, actually.

The flat lot provides space for many outdoor leisure activities, and the developers took full advantage of this: there’s a half basketball court, a backyard kitchen/BBQ area, a sparkling (if surprisingly small) pool, and not one but two accessory structures: a poolside cabana with a bathroom and changing facilities, and a petite guest house with one bedroom suite.

For what it’s worth, Mr. Slash’s new house is only about three miles from the new (and strikingly similar-lookin’) Sherman Oaks mansion that his Guns N’ Roses bandmate Duff McKagan bought almost exactly a year ago.

And as for the ex-Mrs. Slash (aka Perla Hudson), she has also decamped Mulholland Estates as their epic, years-long divorce case drags on. Despite the acrimonious battle, the pair don’t seem to have any issue living in the same neighborhood. Records show that at approximately the same time he bought his new $6.25 million pad, Mr. Slash (through a blind trust) also forked out $3,475,000 for a big 1991-built mansion (also in Encino) for his ex-love. The 6,113-square-foot home has a kitchen with top-of-the-line appliances, a 900-square-foot master suite, and a heated pool/spa combo.

As they say: keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and next time don’t forget to sign that prenup.

Listing agent: Fran H. Chavez, Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices
Slash’s agent: Emil Hartoonian, The Agency

It was the folks at the Wall Street Journal who first revealed that British fashion entrepreneurs Tom & Ruth dropped a wild $24,000,000 on a Trousdale Estates mansion located on what is often considered to be the best (or second-best?) street in the neighborhood: Trousdale Place. Yolanda’s research indicates that this is 2017’s second-biggest Trousdale Estates home sale and the fifth-biggest in the entire city of Beverly Hills.

The house was purchased back in 2012 by a then-single fellow named Kevin Washington, the heir to a multi-billion dollar Montana-based fortune. Records indicate Mr. Washington spent “just” $9,985,000 for the property, which had only recently been renovated and was already a very sexy spot.

As billionaires are wont to do, however, Mr. Washington desired to customize his new crib and so he spent several years and many millions of dollars to renovate and elevate his bachelor pad from merely sexy to panty-droppin’ spectactular. The orgasmic (ahem) results of Mr. Washington’s efforts were splashed all over the web, including on the Youtube.

The listing for the sleek property implored fellow estate agents to “bring clients that are sophisticated and have an eye for style and taste” to view the home, and Yolanda would say that Mr. & Mrs. Chapman fit that bill pretty much to a T. The couple — who are in their late 50s, have three adult children, and have been together for something like 30 years — hail from across the pond. Wimbledon, to be precise. They are majorly successful businesspeople and tastemakers in the international fashion industry.

How’d they get so rich? Hear it in their own words. But we’ll give y’all the watered down version, too.

30 years ago — way back in the 1980s — Mr. and Mrs. Chapman founded Matches Fashion, a small shop in Wimbledon that sold luxury goods to well-heeled consumers. From there, well, the rest is history. The Chapmans’ career is littered with the sort of accolades you’d expect from a large corporation, not necessarily a small mom-and-pop shop in the UK. Theirs was the first company to sell Prada in Great Britain. They were the first to sell Bottega Veneta. They are also now one of the world’s most major fashion retailers and dominate the online high-end market.

Today, Matchesfashion.com stocks 450 established and emerging designers, receives 55 million visitors a year, and 80 percent of orders come from the 176 international markets the site serves. Although Matches Fashion keeps three brick-and-mortar stores in fashionable areas of England, the company’s website is now responsible for 95% of its annual revenue.

In 2017, the Chapman’s sold a majority stake in their business to investment bankers for an estimated 400 million British pounds, which converts to approximately $535 million USD at today’s rates. Though they have stepped back from their role as co-CEOs, they couple remains co-Chairmen of the firm and retain a substantial monetary stake in their “baby”.

Sited on a .48-acre cul-de-sac lot, the low-slung contemporary features generous uses of steel, glass, and exotic woods. Listing materials do not reveal the structure’s square footage, but public records peg it at a mansion-sized 6,229 with 5 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms.

A gated motorcourt leads to an all-glass front door that will surely impress the Domino’s delivery boy with it’s see-through views that span almost the entirely of the Los Angeles basin and stretch to the Pacific Ocean. While the backyard isn’t particularly big, the all-encompassing views ensure it will never feel cramped. And the sparkling pool, firepit, and faux grass terrace look fabulous.

The indoor decor is decidedly posh, if rather masculine: lots of black leather, moody dark woods, and fur-lined chairs that somehow manage to look quite sophisticated. There are novelty features like the dining room table, which looks as though it was hand-hewn in an Indonesian rainforest and probably cost more than a new Mercedes-Benz S550. The dining room chandelier — if you’d like to call it that — appears to be assembled from thousands of crystals. Bet Mr. Washington’s cleaning lady just loved him!

One area that Yolanda is not crazy about is that kitchen, which — despite all the new, top-grade appliances — appears to be going for a retro mid-century look. But that blonde wood and the black granite is giving your gurl bad 80s vibes. Hmmm.

The master bedroom, while not as enormous as one might expect, has one of the comfiest-lookin’ beds Yolanda has laid eyes on. Other rooms in the house include an office/library, and a screening room, both of which have a vaguely Hawaiian vibe. Maybe it’s those wooden shutters?

As we’ve mentioned, Trousdale Place is one of the trendiest streets in trendy Trousdale Estates. Our Mr. & Mrs. Chapman’s new neighbors include major philanthropists Boris & Inara Teterev, Saudi sheikh , billionaire Jim Jannard. Next door to Mr. Jannard’s fortress-like compound is a property that sold as a $32,500,000 teardown last year to a mysterious LLC. The house has since been razed and a new, much larger mansion is in the early stages of construction. Yolanda has heard unconfirmed rumors that this property is owned by fashion mogul Bernard Arnault, the world’s 11th richest man.

As for our Mr. Washington, he has been on a right proper real estate tear this year, racking up nearly $90 million in 2017 transaction volume for his agents. He sold a house on Malibu’s Carbon Beach for more than $9 million to CAA exec Russ Jones, he sold a house in the Beverly Hills Post Office neighborhood for $13.5 million to film producer William Sadleir, and he paid a record-shredding $41 million for a Santa Monica “Modern Farmhouse” sold by Modern Family creator Steve Levitan and his estranged wife Krista. That’s a busy year!

By the way, if y’all have a few minutes to burn, take a quick look-see at Mr. & Mrs. Chapman’s comfortably glamorous family home in Wimbledon.

Listing agents: Branden & Rayni Williams, Hilton & Hyland
The Chapmans’ agent: Dena Luciano, Douglas Elliman

Six days later (and counting!) and Yolanda still has a nasty hangover from her New Years revelry. But we are valiantly getting back to work, regardless of the pain. And now that we’ve kicked all the grandchildren out of our house, we can speak freely and plainly to y’all without losing money to the swear jar.

So let’s be real — things in Venice have gotten real damn expensive. Seems like you have to either be a Bitcoin lottery winner or a TV princess to afford a decent hovel out there nowadays. Of course, y’all didn’t need Yolanda to tell you that. Just a look at all the big tech companies swarming the area, and all the cute vegan hotspots springin’ up, and y’all can easily guess that this neighborhood is on fire right now, for better or worse (depending on one’s point of view).

As is often the case, our friend Vlad the Revealer at Celebrity Address Aerial asked us to look into a house in Venice that had recently sold to a mysterious trust with a Minneapolis (Minnesota) address.

Now, to call this place puny would be an understatement. It’s got a pauper-style 2,618-square-feet of living space and sits on an absolutely microscopic .06 acre lot. However, it is an easy-breezy 5-minute (or less) walk to impossibly trendy Abbot Kinney Boulevard and only 10 minutes by hoof to the beach. Thus it sold for a rather amazing $2,910,417 last year to the aforementioned mysterious trust. That’s right, it’s a $3 million house on a .06-acre lot. Egads!

Lo and behold, Yolanda discovered that the home’s spendthrift new owner is a young lady named Adriana Cargill. And our Ms. Cargill — if you didn’t already know — is a member of one of America’s wealthiest families: the ultra-low-profile multi-billionaire Cargill clan. According to Forbes, the extended Cargill family is the fourth-wealthiest in America, and no fewer than 12 members are official billionaires.

Never heard of the Cargills? There’s a reason for that. For decades, the family has strenuously striven to keep their name out of the papers and gossip rags (or off of TMZ, as is the modern-day equivalent).

What little online information there is about Ms. Cargill can be summarized in a few sentences. She is in her early 30s and was born and raised in Minneapolis. She graduated with a master’s degree in journalism from Chicago’s prestigious Northwestern University. Recently, she has been living in LA and working both as a freelance reporter and as an assistant producer for local radio channel KPCC’s Take Two. According to her personal website, Ms. Cargill regards herself as an “audio nerd”.

For those of y’all who are only interested in the tedious subject of money (such bores!), Yolanda believes Ms. Cargill is the daughter of Austen S. Cargill II and his first ex-wife. Forbes pegs her daddy’s net worth at a paltry $4.3 billion.

So now we’ve got that nonsense out of the way. Shall we take a look at Ms. Cargill’s tall and skinny new house? It’s sorta like the residential real estate equivalent of a giraffe, except not as interesting. Shit, just looking at this place makes Yolanda feel short and dumpy. Which we are. But we digress!

Described as a “modern Craftsman” in listing materials (perhaps a bit of a stretch), the three-story house sits securely behind a wooden gate. A short stone pathway leads past a small patch of (maybe fake?) grass to an itsy-bitsy wooden deck that offsets the white front door.

The house back up to an alleyway, and another wooden gate slides open to reveal a two car garage, perfect for making a discreet entrance or exit from the premises. Naturally, the home is equipped with a high-tech security and camera system, as is required at the residence of a billionaire heiress.

An otherwise small front living room is made larger thanks to its folding doors that bring the outdoors inside. The main living spaces feature expensive-lookin’ dark oak hardwood floors, a “gourmet” kitchen with Caeserstone counters and high-end Thermador appliances, and an adjacent dining room that also features folding doors leading out to a rear balcony. Fortunately, there appears to be a small powder room on the main level, which means that Ms. Cargill’s guests need not traipse upstairs into her private living quarters to use the loo.

Speaking of upstairs, the second floor sports three bedrooms and two full bathrooms, including a master suite with a balcony, a glass-walled shower, and a fireplace.

The third floor is perhaps the most interesting, as it consists of one large open room and a 3/4 bath, which suggests multiple possibilities to Yolanda. A music studio for “audio nerd” Ms. Cargill? A deluxe home movie theater? A swanky office or game room? Or perhaps Ms. Cargill would like to make this space into the new master suite: after all, it’s got a balcony and a corkscrew staircase with private access to a breezy open-air rooftop space.

Actually, now that we’ve seen the third floor, Yolanda takes back what she said about it being boring. We rather like this house! It’s fun. We hope Ms. Cargill has the imagination to renovate in an fresh way.

We shall see! Or shall we?

Listing agents: Michael Rozales & Kim Finestone, Keller Williams Beverly Hills
Ms. Cargill’s agent: Cory Charlupski, Douglas Elliman

Local realtor Tracy Do says “be prepared for competition—be prepared for heartbreak” in regards to the unstoppable ascension of home prices in the greater LA area, a trend that Yolanda expects will continue in 2018 for most sectors of the market (though ultra-high-end real estate is actually slowing down somewhat, but we digress). And perhaps one of the best examples of those relentless gains is this house out in Venice, which sold for $1,858,000 just over three years ago, in August 2014.

The home’s new owner — Dallas-based real estate developer Travis Hollman, who is married to Real Housewives of Dallas star Stephanie Hollman — quickly hired local designer Kim Gordon to oversee an extensive remodel and expansion of the premises. Clearly, that was a wise move. Only two years after purchasing the property, Mr. Hollman put his overhauled project back on the market with a rather rude $4,985,000 pricetag, an amount Yolanda believed was entirely too optimistic. Heck, that’s almost triple what he had paid. And for a house on a .13-acre lot? Highway robbery!

But nobody agreed with Yolanda, of course. Cracked-out buyers with money to burn swarmed the corner lot house. Only one month after being listed, the property sold for a ludicrous $5,610,000 — an unbelievable $625,000 more than the asking price. Someone wanted this place and wanted it badly.

The new owner’s identity is carefully secreted away behind a boringly-named blind trust, but Yolanda happens to know that it is a youngish guy named Walter Driver (and his wife Kate Strickland Driver). Never heard of these young whippersnappers? Neither had Yolanda. But it turns out that Mr. Driver is a very big deal in the mobile gaming industry. Scopely, the company he co-founded in 2011, is currently valued at north of $600 million. From what Yolanda can tell, the firm makes gaming apps that they sell in Apple’s app store (and other app stores too, probably). The firm has attracted a large array of prominent investors, among them multiple hedge funds and rich solo folks like Peter Chernin, Kobe Bryant, and Jimmy Iovine.

Despite the accolades, a quick online search reveals that the company appears to have a significant group of detractors. Sites Yolanda browsed contain an overuse of the terms “greedy”, “shady”, and “deceptive”. Oh dear! But anyway, Mr. Driver is the CEO of Scopely so he’s certainly rolling in the dough.

As for Mrs. Driver, she heads up an interior design firm West Haddon Hall. Like her hubby, she is in her 30s and together they have at least one mini Driver bambino.

It seems that our loved-up family wanted a statement residence to celebrate their success and young money. So let’s take a look — y’all can judge for yourselves whether the eye-watering pricetag was really worth it.

The house sits on a long, narrow corner lot and fronts the “best street in Venice”, according to the listing. To keep things private, the property is completely walled, gated, and surrounded by a towering hedges. Cameras are everywhere. Around back is a two-car garage that is accessed discreetly via an alleyway.

Though the .13-acre lot will never be called spacious, Mr. Hollman (and Ms. Gordon) did the best they could to maximize use of the compact land and installed an outdoor fireplace surrounded by comfy-looking couches and assorted palm trees for a distinctly Hawaiian-flavored feel.

As y’all can see, the tropical theme carries on indoors, where an all-glass door swings open to a groovy double-height space. The main floor is essentially one big room, making it ideal for entertaining.

Just off the front entrance is the open kitchen, which is super convenient if y’all don’t mind those smells filling up the whole house. The cabinetry appears to be some sort of exotic wood — the listing does not specify — and there is plenty of storage space for cutlery and such. Also downstairs is a booze-friendly wet bar with bar seating. The home is filled with dozens of circular LED lights and accentuated by floor-to-ceiling glass-and-steel windows that draw in the Hawaiian-esque landscaping.

Upstairs there are four bedrooms including the master, which has white oak floors, a built in soaking tub in the bathroom, a trough-like sink, and a walk-in closet with custom wooden shelving.

A detached guest unit is accessed via a narrow catwalk from the main house and is situated directly above the garage, we believe. Atop the main house (and accessed via a small staircase) is a seating area plus a (clearly faux) patch of grass. Good for the doggies to play in, Yolanda supposes. But hopefully not for using as a doggy bathroom.

From what Yolanda can tell, the 4,572-square-foot residence does not sport a pool/spa, nor does it have a place to install such amenities. Which for more than $5.6 million is kinda a damn shame. Right?

But anywho. We have already mentioned how Venice is gentrified and now impossibly expensive, yet the area remains an acquired taste. At least for Yolanda. For $5.6 million we wouldn’t want to live on a very public corner known to be frequented by hobos and way too many damn tourists, nice house or not. Yet the price is relatively on par with the neighborhood — Milwood Avenue is one of the most desirable streets in Venice and Game of Thrones actress Emilia Clarke recently threw down $4,640,000 for a smaller (but rather awesome) house just a few doors away.

So if you like Venice and don’t mind braving the throngs of people, it doesn’t get much better than this.

Listing agents: Tami Pardee & Justin Alexander, Halton Pardee and Partners
Walter Driver’s agent: Tami Pardee, Halton Pardee and Partners

Although it feels like it was just yesterday that we were counting down 2016’s biggest hits, another year has slipped by us all, and Yolanda is that much closer to the grave. And although several of our other property gossip website compadres have already initiated their own year-end lists, Yolanda can’t resist tossing her two cents into the ring.

Heck, for all we know this could be out last year on Mother Earth! Before we begin, a few observations.

Just like last year, the number of foreign buyers remained represented on the list of biggest purchases remained low. Only five of the twenty homes appear to have been bought by folks from outside the US — something that can possibly be attributed to the strength of the dollar (among other things, we expect).

Certain neighborhoods dominate the list year after year. Malibu had six transactions on the list. Bel Air was represented five times. Yet surprises also remained — only one sale in Beverly Hills was big enough to be included, as opposed to three from the arguably less prestigious Beverly Hills Post Office neighborhood. Then there was a single transaction in Holmby Hills, two in the Hollywood Hills, and two from the Westside city of Santa Monica (that last one is perhaps most surprising of all, at least to us).

Anyway, here’s the 20 biggest residential transactions in LA County, at least as far as Yolanda can tell. If we overlooked anything, do let us know and we sincerely apologize in advance.

1) $88,000,000 — 454 Cuesta Way, Los Angeles (Bel Air)

Seller: Dean McKillen
Buyer: Beyoncé & Jay-Z

Despite it being an off-market sale, this was perhaps the most widely-publicized residential real estate transaction of 2017 (and for good reason!) After many years of high-priced LA rentals, music’s biggest power couple sealed the deal for a monster spec-mansion in prime Bel Air.

Built by contemporary mega-mansion specialist Paul McClean, the property has some 30,000-square-feet of living space, a miserly four outdoor swimmin’ pools, and just enough room for two oversized egos.

2) $85,000,000 — 22108 Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu

Seller: David Geffen
Buyer: Mark Walter

Although this purchase caused controversy and much unwanted publicity for Mr. Walter — a billionaire private equity pasha — he apparently has no regrets about paying $85 million (in cash) for David Geffen’s longtime Carbon Beach compound.

3) $69,900,000 — 3620 Sweetwater Mesa Road, Malibu

Seller: Mauricio Oberfeld
Buyer: Ki Yan Karen Lo

Hyper-rich Mexican investor Mauricio Oberfeld convinced Hong Kong heiress Karen Lo (and her husband Eugene Chuang) to pay $69,900,000 for what is perhaps Malibu’s most epic and most visible compound, located on a 16-acre lot in the guard-gated Serra Retreat community.

4) $65,000,000 — 1187 North Hillcrest Road, Beverly Hills (Trousdale Estates)

Seller: Gilbert Chagoury
Buyer: Evan Metropoulos

The former estate of Danny Thomas — and perhaps the largest home in the trendy Trousdale Estates neighborhood — was sold by Lebanese-Nigerian billionaire Gilbert Chagoury to billionaire heir Evan Metropoulos. As a teardown!

5) $50,000,000 — 24108 Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu

Buyer: Scott Gillen

Fresh off slapping a blistering $75 million pricetag on his latest creation, prolific Malibu developer Scott Gillen closed on his most ambitious project to date: a 24-acre vacant parcel, upon which he plans to build six spec-mega-mansions.

6) $48,000,000 — 22466 Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu

Seller: Lisette Ackerberg
Buyer: Larry Ellison

It’s lucky number 13 for Mr. Ellison. That’s how many homes on Carbon Beach he now owns after making his biggest purchase yet: the $48 million off-market splash for the longtime home of wealthy widow Lisette Ackerberg.

7) $41,082,000 — 859 Woodacres Road, Santa Monica

Seller: Krista Levitan
Buyer: Kevin Washington

2017’s most shocking sale award goes to this transaction, Yolanda believes. Not only is it the biggest sale ever in Santa Monica, it stands as the biggest ever on the Westside of LA, or at least west of the 405. Billionaire heir Kevin Washington got himself a 10,000-square-foot “Modern Farmhouse” overlooking the Riviera Country Club and sold by Krista Levitan, the ex-wife of Modern Family creator Steven Levitan.

8) $41,000,000 — 900 Stradella Road, Los Angeles (Bel Air)

Seller: Zach Vella
Buyer: Jay Paul

Ho hum, another contemporary spec-mansion in Bel Air. This one went to SF-based billionaire Jay Paul.

9) $40,800,000 — 300 Delfern Drive, Los Angeles (Holmby Hills)

Seller: Gary Wilson
Buyer: Nicolas Berggruen

The so-called “homeless billionaire” isn’t so homeless anymore — in fact, he now owns real estate all over LA. This, however, is his trophy spread: prime Holmby Hills and built back in the day by architect Gordon Kaufmann.

10) $38,500,000 — 1520 Gilcrest Drive, Los Angeles (Beverly Hills Post Office)

Seller: John Saca
Buyer: Sir Tom Hunter

Scottish billionaire Sir Tom Hunter paid the biggest price ever seen in the “Crest Streets” area of the 90210. In return, he got the keys to this contemporary confection with its dramatic “boomerang” pool. Since the purchase, the house has popped up on the rental market.

11) $38,500,000 — 27808 Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu

Seller: Andrew Lessman
Buyer: Richard & Laurie Stark

Pill pusher Andrew Lessman sold his Paradise Cove compound in an off-market deal to Chrome Hearts founders (and major real estate ballers) Richard and Laurie Lynn Stark.

12) $38,000,000 — 78 Beverly Park Lane, Los Angeles (Beverly Park)

Seller: Ed Berman & Gala Asher 
Buyer: Tom Gores

Tom Gores somewhat strangely bought his old Beverly Park mansion back only a year after selling it to the same developers who constructed his new $100 million pad in Holmby Hills.

13) $36,000,000 — 800 Stradella Road, Los Angeles (Bel Air)

Seller: Peter Morton
Buyer: Woodbridge Luxury Homes AKA Robert Shapiro

Hard Rock Hotel chain founder Peter Morton sold a vacant Bel Air lot to Woodbridge for a sky-high $36 million. As y’all should know, Woodbridge and its owner, Robert Shapiro, are currently embroiled in a lawsuit with the SEC, who has accused the firm of being little more than a massive ponzi scheme.

14) $36,000,000 — 23324 Malibu Colony Road, Malibu

Seller: Wallis Annenberg
Buyer: Stanley Druckenmiller

Major philanthropist/heiress Wallis Annenberg finally sold her oceanfront stunner to billionaire Stanley Druckenmiller and his wife Fiona.

15) $35,700,000 — 1 Electra Court, Los Angeles (Hollywood Hills)

Seller: Megan Ellison
Buyer: Woodbridge Luxury Homes AKA Robert Shapiro

Megan Ellison offloaded her idiosyncratic Mount Olympus home to Woodbridge just weeks before the firm was officially put on lockdown by the SEC. Good for Miss Ellison, Yolanda supposes, although the fate of her former house remains murky.

16) $35,450,000 — 671 Siena Way, Los Angeles (Bel Air)

Seller: Ed Berman & Gala Asher
Buyer: Unknown (La Croix LLC)

An anonymous buyer from Silicon Valley (probably a billionaire) paid a fortune for a couple acres of dirt in prime Bel Air.

17) $33,900,000 — 256 Copa de Oro Road, Los Angeles (Bel Air)

Seller: Ross Perot Jr.
Buyer: George Lucas

We hope George Lucas was repeating “To infinity and beyond” and referring to the real estate market when he paid about $34 million for this house in Bel Air, almost double what the property sold for five years ago.

18) $33,000,000 — 1255 Angelo Road, Los Angeles (Beverly Hills Post Office)

Seller: Bruce Makowsky
Buyer: Unknown (but rumored to be Bernard Arnault)

Bruce Makowsky paid $18.4 million for this 3.64-acre development site in 2014, only to flabbergast us all when he flipped the vacant land three years later for $33 million. The buyer is carefully shielded behind an LLC, but is believed to be Europe’s richest man — LVMH showrunner Bernard Arnault.

19) $32,500,000 — 9199 Thrasher Avenue, Los Angeles (Bird Streets)

Seller: Joseph Englanoff
Buyer: Unknown (Keystone International LLC)

In the last days of 2017, an anonymous buyer from China paid $5.5 million less than the asking price for this Bird Streets spec-build by architect Paul McClean.

20) $31,000,500 — 1525 San Vicente Boulevard, Santa Monica

Seller: Tom Barrack
Buyer: Kirk Lazarus

The other big sale in Santa Monica came courtesy of billionaire Trump supporter Tom Barrack, who sold his almost-new mega-mansion (it’s got a basketball court in the basement!) to South African entrepreneur Kirk Lazarus.

There you have it, kiddies. Not that we don’t like dwelling on the past, but let’s get back to current year stuff…

It is time to officially close out 2017, a year that brought with it the answers to questions we didn’t even know we had asked (“‘The heck is a Cardi B?”) but also left others (“Has anyone unlocked the code of covfefe?!”) disturbingly unanswered.

Although Yolanda spends most of our time mouthing off about things we are interested in (and really, why shouldn’t we? It’s our silly blog) we recognize value in learning about what draws y’all young punks to our site. Yolanda’s got a handy-dandy tool that monitors how many clicks each story gets up in here.

Among the most viewed posts this year, not much of a theme emerged other than all the homes being very expensive — the cheapest retailed for a fat $6,250,000. Some of the stories involved celebrities, some involved prominent businesspeople, some involved folks you’ve definitely never heard of before. Some homes are old and classy, others gaudy and tacky.

Seems like readers aren’t selective about certain areas, either: just about every luxe neighborhood from Newport Beach to Montecito to Encino to the Palisades is represented on here. And that’s the way Yolanda likes it. We never discriminate. So good work, y’all. Countdown time!

10. The notorious Bradbury Estate finally sells … for just $24 million

An epic saga that began in February 2012 finally came to a close in September of last year when the 47,000-square foot monster compound finally found a new owner for just $24,380,000.

Not much is yet known about the new owner(s), but Yolanda stumbled across evidence that they may be a low-profile Canada-based family from Hong Kong.

9. Kim & Kanye sell for nearly $18 million cash to billionaire Brian Acton’s wife Marina

The world’s most over-publicized couple managed to unload their minimalist Bel Air museum for $17.8 million in cold, hard cash. The buyer? Marina Acton, a Ukrainian citizen. Yolanda still believes that Mrs. Acton is married to Silicon Valley billionaire Brian Acton, despite the fact that he personally contacted us and denied that is the case. Then again, who would lie about their spouse? Hmm…

8. “The Profit” star Marcus Lemonis gets fancy in Montecito

Multi-hyphenate investor/entrepreneur/television personality Marcus Lemonis has found a contemporary resting place in the idyllic Montecito community.

7. Diamond Bar couple dumps $28 million on a Newport Coast mansion

An ultra-low-profile couple from the quiet city of Diamond Bar poured out $28 million in cash for this Tuscan mega-manse in a swanky Newport Beach guard-gated community.

6. Guns N’ Roses rocker Slash starts fresh in Encino with $6.25 million mansion buy

Slash slashed his way to new construction in the increasingly expensive suburban community of Encino.

5. Multi-billionaire Dan Friedkin covertly spends $18 million on a Brentwood “Belgian farmhouse”

Texas-based rich guy Dan Friedkin dropped a wad (of cash) on one of Yolanda’s favorite homes of the year. We’d love to live there, truly.

4. Alo Yoga CEO Danny Harris stretches out $30 million in Holmby Hills

Who knew that making stretchy pants for the Jenner/Hadid crowd could be quite this profitable?

3. Mauricio Umansky & Kyle Richards buy an $8.2 million piece of Encino history

Smoky Robinson‘s historic Encino haunt, originally built in 1880, fetched a record-breaking price. Thanks to reality TV star Kyle Richards and real estate mogul Mauricio Umansky for making it happen. Sorry about the burglars. (But seriously, that’s not cool).

2. Donald Abbey quietly gets the boot from Bradbury Estates

What goes up comes down with a thud. Also, this house was prominently featured on Million Dollar Listing.

1. Guggenheim’s Alexandra Court antes up $13 million for a piece of Pacific Palisades history

Yolanda is not shocked that Ms. Court trumped the competition this year — hers is a wild tale.

After her Guggenheim colleague Mark Walter paid $85 million in cash for a Malibu compound, Yolanda was bewildered to discover that Ms. Court was living (and acting as the owner, for all intents) in a historic Pacific Palisades mansion. The fascinating thing was that the house was bought for $13 million cash through the same entity that Mr. Walter used to purchase his own property.

Since then, an explosive Financial Times investigation rocked the financial services industry, the Wall Street Journal reported that news of the real estate splurges had caused turmoil and plunging morale at the company, the New York Post hissed that Ms. Court was pursuing a $100 million exit package from Guggenheim, and rumors ran rampant that Mr. Walter — who was forced to deny he bought the Palisades house for Ms. Court — would soon resign his position as Guggenheim CEO due to the controversy and unwanted press coverage.

As of today, Mr. Walter remains CEO and Ms. Court appears to be gainfully employed at the firm. But the fat lady has not yet sung and this one certainly ain’t over yet.

Has your 2018 gotten off to a rocky start? Too bad. But it could be worse — you could’ve been busted with 52 pounds of pot in the backseat of your car and be facing a minimum of 8 years in the pokey. Oh dear, we digress.

Yolanda thought we’d get the year start off right with a record-breaking sale. Yes, we know seems like sales records get broken every single day. And they do. But this is a biggie! Not only is the transaction the only eight-figure sale in Encino history, it is nearly $2.5 million bucks more than the previous record-holder — Mauricio Umansky and Kyle Richards’ Smokey Robinson estate — sold for just a few months ago.

Clearly Encino, located in the San Fernando Valley and long the red-headed stepchild in LA’s family of luxury real estate neighborhoods, is coming into its own. We’ve seen a big spat of expensive sales of new spec-mansions bought by an increasing number of wealthy celebrities who are gladly forgoing the Westside, drawn in by this Valley area’s less pretentious atmosphere, the (dwindling) value its real estate still provides, and its easy access to many of LA’s suburban amenities.

A little birdie whispered to Yolanda that a wealthy married couple named Jimmy Rollins & Johari Smith have their eyes locked on a spec-built monster mansion located in a leafy pocket of Encino, just south of Ventura Boulevard. Little birdie swears that the couple will very soon fork over a porky (and unprecedented) $10,650,000 for the property.

Ignoramus that we are, Yolanda confesses that she had never heard of Mr. Rollins or Mrs. Smith-Rollins. But two minutes of Googling reveals that Mr. Rollins was a very big deal in the world of professional baseball. Per our pal Mr. Wiki Pedia, our boy spent 16 years in the major leagues before hanging up his hard had following the 2016 season.

Born and raised up north in Alameda, CA, the gap-toothed and smiley Mr. Rollins spent his first 14 MLB years with the Philadelphia Phillies before spending his final two seasons with the LA Dodgers and the Chicago White Sox, respectively. At least one website pegs his net worth at $40 million.

Now retired from pro baseball, Mr. Rollins will turn 40 this year and Yolanda believes he wants a big, fancy pad as a place to raise his kids — he and Mrs. Rollins have two young daughters — and as a luxurious way to enjoy the fruits of his ball-hitting labor. But we are only guessing, of course.

The new home’s developer purchased the .6-acre property for just $2,712,000 back in 2015, after which the existing home’s residence was soon torn down. In its place sprang up a nearly 15,000-square-foot elephantine residence. Let’s call the new home’s architectural style Neo-Palladian, shall we?

Clearly designed to impress guests and passers-by, the house looms large behind front driveway gates. The developer attempted to reduce the visual impact of the two front-facing garages by blacking out the doors, but Yolanda still finds this solution to be far from graceful.

Anyway, the front door opens to a tall-ceilinged foyer. Overhead is a contemporary brass chandelier and ahead is a rather cliche “bridal staircase”. Egads, didn’t those things go out of fashion in the early 2000s?

The main level features a living room with a gigantic fireplace. Check out that mantle — you’ll need a stepladder just to place anything atop it! The family room opens to the backyard and to the kitchen.

As you might expect for $10.65 million, the house is packed to the damn gills with gizmos and luxury features. There’s a full security and home automation system, an elevator, a bedroom-sized wine cellar, a wood-paneled library with cathedral-esque chandeliers, a home theater with captain’s chair seating for 8, and a mirror-walled gym with white oak hardwood floors, high celings, and multiple televisions. There is also a maid or nanny’s bedroom suite on the main level.

The second floor has 5 bedrooms suites including the master, which has a rather incongruous beige fireplace, a spacious private deck, and a spa-like master bathroom.

Although there isn’t much landscaping on the mini-estate — it’s only .6 acres, after all — it will require a great deal of water. There’s a pool-sized fountain out front, an indoor pool in the main house, and an outdoor pool. Also on the premises is a pool cabana, a putting green with faux grass, a half basketball court, and a two-story guest house with two more guest bedroom suites.

Back in 2012, Mr. Rollins paid $3,000,000 for a 6,500-square-foot waterfront mansion in Tampa, Florida. He also has a 5,292-square-foot home in New Jersey city of Swedesboro, currently available with a $799,000 asking price.

Listing agent: Marc Noah, Sotheby’s International Realty
Jimmy Rollins’ agent: Josh Goldstein, Compass

Perhaps the most star-studded street in LA isn’t where you might expect it to be. It’s not in the 90210 or in the Hollywood Hills. Nor is it a road in Malibu. Actually, it’s Amalfi Drive in low-key Pacific Palisades. The two-mile north/south drive is about two miles long and runs all the way from Santa Monica to nearly the northernmost point of the Palisades’ ultra-desirable Riviera neighborhood.

Yolanda will attempt to do a comprehensive rundown of celeb residents later on in this tale. But today we wanted to briefly chat about a particular house on this street.

This house is certainly not one of the bigger or newer ones on this tony roadway. Built in 1949, the unassuming two-story pad (of no particular architectural vernacular, really) sits on a relatively small .45-acre lot and weighs in at 3,211-square-feet with 4 beds and 4.5 baths. Heck, that’s almost a normal person house size! Almost.

Of course, the price of admission is definitely not anywhere close to normal. Though it was never publicly offered for sale, the little house sold for a very A-list $8,150,000 just over a year ago (back in September 2016). Kiddies, that’s BIG money. More than $2,500 per square foot, and it does not appear that the buyer took a mortgage on the property.

The new owner’s identity is carefully shielded behind a mysteriously-named entity that Yolanda was unable to crack, so we eventually gave up trying. Can’t win ’em all, y’all.

But then, out of the blue, Yolanda was contacted by a Westside resident named Nosy Posy. (Seriously, that’s what he calls himself.) Our Little Mr. Posy whispered to Yolanda that the new owner of the $8.15 million pad was none other than longtime Hollywood actress Michelle Pfeiffer.

At first Yolanda was a little skeptical, but some further research clearly reveals that Mr. Posy is not just whistlin’ Dixie. Ms. Pfeiffer really did pay more than $8 million for this house. So thanks for putting us on the right track, Mr. Posy. Kiddies, go check him out on the Instagram contraption.

Long considered one of the most beautiful actresses in Hollywood, Ms. Pfeiffer has starred in a whole bunch of feature films including Grease 2 (1982), Scarface (1983), Dangerous Minds (1995), What Lies Beneath (2000), Hairspray (2007), and Dark Shadows(2012). She has also thrice been nominated for an Academy Award (always a bridesmaid, never a bride).

As Bruno Mars would say, Ms. Pfeiffer is that white gold (whatever that means) and Yolanda happens to think that she still looks fantastic, despite the fact that she will turn 60 this year. And after a long dry spell, her career is back on the upswing. Just last year, she starred in Mother! (2017) and Murder on the Orient Express (2017). She also received her first Emmy Award nomination for portraying Ruth Madoff in the HBO television film The Wizard of Lies (2017) — congrats!

For those of you wondering how Ms. Pfeiffer can afford an $8 million house in the Palisades when she hasn’t worked steadily in many years, Yolanda will tell you. It’s because she has a very rich hubby! David E. Kelley, to whom she has been married for nearly 25 years and with whom she has two adult children, is a very successful screenwriter/producer who created shows like Picket Fences, Chicago Hope, The Practice, Ally McBeal, Boston Public, Boston Legal, Harry’s Law, and Big Little Lies. This dude is loaded.

Mr. Kelley and Ms. Pfeiffer haven’t lived in LA in many years, but they are not new to the Westside. Back in 2005, they sold a big ass two-parcel compound for a whopping total of $27,005,000. The property is located on what is often considered to be the best street in Brentwood.

The larger parcel with its 7,426-square-foot Traditional mansion was sold in December 2005 for $18,425,000 to Disney CEO Bob Iger, who continues to the own the estate. The smaller parcel — with its 3,867-square-foot Paul Williams-designed house — was sold in July 2005 for $8,580,000 to Ezri Namzar, aka the “Madoff of Beverly Hills”.

For what its worth: the Paul Williams house is now owned by developer Robert Hanasab, who battled his next door neighbor Mr. Iger for many years over his right to demolish the structure and build a big new house. In the end, Mr. Hanasab seems to have given up — the property is now back up for sale with a fat $16,950,000 asking price. But we digress.

For more than a decade, Ms. Pfeiffer and Mr. Kelley have mainly resided in the tiny and tony Silicon Valley town of Woodside, CA, far away from the bright lights of Hollywood. It is here where the couple have quietly assembled a two-parcel equestrian compound for which they paid nearly $21 million in two separate transactions (one in 2004, one in 2008).

The nearly 9-acre property is in the same general area as the homes of billionaires like Larry Ellison, Steve Jobs’ widow Laurene Powell, Softbank CEO Masayoshi Son, and GoPro creator Nick Woodman.

Anyway, back to the Palisades. While Yolanda is not sure what Ms. Pfeiffer (and Mr. Kelley) plan to do with their $8 million crash pad, the current house does sport a two-car garage and a sizable pool.

Per an old lease listing, the house also has an “updated kitchen”, an open floor plan, and views of Santa Monica Canyon. It is situated privately behind tall hedges near the southern end of Amalfi.

Directly next door to Ms. Pfeiffer is a humongous under-construction mansion being built by Houston Astros owner Jim Crane at a cost of $12 million, according to our Mr. Nosy Posy. Also on the south side of Amalfi (the portion below Sunset Boulevard) are the homes of celebrities and Hollywood honchos like Kate Hudson, Molly Sims, Sam Raimi, Guymon Casady, and French superstar Johnny Hallyday.

On the north side of Amalfi are folks like Reese Witherspoon, Paul Doucette, Barbara Bosson, Alain Goldman, Mitch Hurwitz and Mary Jo Keenan, Chuck Lorre, Steve Bochco, Colin Hanks, Conan O’Brien, and Steven Spielberg. And that’s just the people we can remember off the top of our head!