Seems like most Bel Air properties available for purchase these days are of the ultra-contemporary architectural variety, but there are still a handful of old-school classics, too. Though it’s not publicly listed for sale, mega-loaded Idol franchise creator Simon Fuller has quietly engaged one of LA’s most successful realtors to discreetly shop around his historic Bel Air spread as an off-market pocket listing.

The asking price? A very serious (and aggressive) $37,500,000.

Originally designed by legendary architect Gordon Kaufmann — he’s also responsible for the Greystone Mansion in Beverly Hills — the so-called Fredericks Residence was built in 1928 and has changed hands many times over the ensuing decades. Although it has likewise undergone multiple renovations, the home’s grand ol’ bones remain mostly the same as nearly 100 years ago.

In the 1990s, the hilltop property came to be owned by fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli and his wife, Full House actress Lori Loughlin. The couple had the home’s interiors done up by acclaimed designer Michael S. Smith before selling the place (in 2001) to elderly billionaire David Murdock.

Though our Mr. Murdock is still alive and kickin’ at 95 years old, he elected to downsize in 2014 by selling his big Bel Air spread to Mr. Fuller for the princely sum of $24,000,000.

Now in his late 50s, the British Mr. Fuller has been living mainly in LA (we think) for the past decade or so. And while his name may not be immediately familiar to most Yanks, he is a very big deal in the music industry. He’s the guy behind the careers of the Spice Girls, Annie Lennox, and Amy Winehouse, just to name a few. Billboard has ranked him as the most successful British music manager of our time.

Besides music, Mr. Fuller has a diverse array of business interests that include professional sports and fashion. However, he’s probably best-known for creating the Idol TV show franchise, which has reached 150 countries around the globe and has generated billions in revenue since its 2001 inception. We’re sure even the most ignorant among y’all have heard of American Idol, right? Right.

Current estimates of Mr. Fuller’s net worth vary, but sites seem to think it hovers somewhere right around $500 million. And on a familial note, Mr. Fuller and his interior designer wifey Natalie Swanston recently celebrated their tenth wedding anniversary. The couple now have three tikes. Mazel!

Back to the real estate. From the looks of things, Mr. Fuller has given the ol’ Bel Air gurl a major cosmetic overhaul. Not only has he painted the formerly red brick exteriors a milky white, the interiors are now a very contemporary and sophisticated mix of blacks, whites, and grays. While quite chicly opulent, the trendy look seems a wee bit incongruous when y’all consider the historic architecture here. But to each their own.

And whether Mr. Fuller’s improvements are really worth $13.5 million more than he paid four years ago — that’s a hefty 56% increase — will be for the market to determine. Draw your own conclusions from the photographic evidence below.

Sited on an expansive 1.6-acre promontory, the residence is completely hidden from the street out front by tall hedges and gates. A winding driveway leads to a detached garage and pebble motorcourt that can easily accommodate an additional dozen vehicles. From there, a columned portico welcomes visitors to the blacked-out front door.

To be honest, y’all, we don’t think this vaguely Colonial affair ranks as one of Gordon Kaufmann’s best works, but at least the swollen turret keeps things interesting.

The current listing is stingy with details, but we do know the house weighs in with around 12,000-square-feet of living space — yes, that’s big — and at least six bedrooms and bathrooms. Current photos reveal there’s a living room with a fireplace, a vaulted ceiling and contemporary decor. French doors conveniently lead out to the back terrace.

Oh, and Yolanda strongly dislikes that fuzzy pom-pom chandelier. If we bought this place we’d use that thing as a piñata and have celebratory drinks when it gets destroyed. But we digress.

Gleaming ebonized hardwood floors continue into the formal dining room — that table that can seat 14! — and a family room with another fireplace and more sets of French doors. Again, the decor here isn’t to our personal taste, but it all looks very high quality. if you’ve always wanted to live in a historic estate with uber-mod interiors, Mr. Fuller has something to sell ya.

The mansion sits high enough for clear views of the Century City skyscrapers and much of the LA basin. Out back are several terraces for lounging and al fresco dining, naturally.

The sloped lot means the pool sits significantly lower house. Stairs lead down to a stone terrace (perfect for sunbathing) and to the meandering lawn. Brick pathways encircle the entire estate, and carefully manicured hedges contribute to the lush landscape. Somewhere on the property there’s a guesthouse of unknown square footage (we think).

Before moving to Bel Air, Mr. Fuller and Ms. Swanston lived on a sleepy cul-de-sac in the northwestern corner of Beverly Hills. Records show that Mr. Fuller ponied up $8.5 million for the Tudor-style home way back in 2005, after which he embarked on a major, multi-year overhaul and expansion of the residence. The “contemporary villa” was sold a couple years ago for $14,600,000 to Symantec CEO Greg Clark.

By the way, Mr. Clark quickly got bored with his new Beverly Hills house — or somethin’ like that — because the property is back up for sale with a $15,750,000 ask.

Anyway, while their 90210 mansion was undergoing years of renovations, Mr. Fuller and wifey shacked up in a contemporary Bird Streets nest. Records show the couple paid $7,650,000 for the imposing Hollywood Hills home in 2007. Lucky for them, they managed to unload the crash pad just over a year later for $8.5 million. The buyer? Walmart heiress Sybil Robson Orr.

Incidentally, that Bird Streets house is now owned by TravelZoo CEO Holger Bartel. Did y’all know that the Ferrari-driving Mr. Bartel has spent the last five years (or so) rebuilding the entire structure? And it still ain’t done yet! Such are the ways of the rich and/or famous.

Listing agent: Drew Fenton, Hilton & Hyland

Yolanda has just returned from the honeymoon for our latest marriage. We thought it’d be fun to journey somewhere different this time around, so we forewent our usual Italy or Greece for a more exotic jungle destination in some unpronouncable faraway land. Great fun. Unfortunately, we forgot to bring the new Mr. Yolanda back home with us. Last we saw he was being chased through the rainforest by a man-eating native tribe, a herd of water buffalo and a pair of angry baboons. Hope he’s okay.

Anyway, today seems like the perfect time to discuss this sexy house in the ever-expensive Trousdale Estates neighborhood. If there ever were the residential equivalent of a trophy wife, this place would take top prize. It’s brand-new, gorgeous and classy. And it just oozes money. One step in the door and your friends will realize how loaded you are. Watch them seethe!

The new build was developed by the high-end specialists at Mendez Clark Ventures. Records show they acquired the .61-acre property in early 2015 for exactly $5 million, and the existing residence was soon leveled to make way for the sleekly slick pad you see here. Upon completion, the home was put up for sale in April (2018) with a $17 million asking price. It would eventually transfer for a discounted $15,000,000 after six months on the market.

As for the all-cash buyer, he is a gentleman named Curtis Macnguyen. He’s a hedgie — also known as a hedge fund manager in more proper society.

Our Mr. Macnguyen’s life story is distinctly unlike most other hedge fundies: now in his late 40s, he was born in Vietnam and grew up with nine brothers and sisters. As a young boy, his parents immigrated to the United States, where he was raised in relative poverty.

After graduating summa cum laude from Wharton, Mr. Macnguyen was hired on at now-shuttered investment bank Gleacher & Company. There he learned about hedge funds — and how profitable they could be — before founding his own fund, Ivory Investment Management, in the late 1990s. Ivory performed very well during the last economic recession, and at its peak had billions of dollars in assets under management (AUM). But sometime around 2010, things began to go south for Mr. Macnguyen. His fund started losing its stock market bets, and losing badly — something that has irked him to no end.

Just a few months ago, after a significant loss in AUM, Mr. Macnguyen finally announced Ivory would be closing its doors after 20 years. Despite this, Mr. Macnguyen is still (obviously) plenty rich — he has his own family office, a firm dedicated to investing and managing his extensive personal assets.

We really haven’t an inkling about how much money Mr. Macnguyen’s got, but given that he now owns at least $60 million worth of mortgage-free luxury real estate, it’s probably a safe bet that his net worth is well into the nine figures.

And on a personal note, our boy is married to Sandy Le Macnguyen — she’s also Vietnamese, in case y’all were curious — and he’s got a young son and an adult stepson.

Located on the main Trousdale thoroughfare, the low-slung contemporary appears deceptively modest from the street out front. All passers-by can glimpse is a simple gate guarding a pair of two-car garages, both adorned with vertical wooden slats. Most of the property is hidden behind a dense thicket of new-planted privets.

Once beyond the glassy front door, however, the house reveals its 7,000-square-feet of open luxury living. The enormous great room features an eye-catching walnut hardwood ceiling, gleaming stone floors, a fireplace, formal dining area and vanishing walls of glass Fleetwood doors.

On the far end of the great room is the rather austere Bulthaup kitchen, with its shiny (and very Germanic) stainless steel countertops and ludicrously pricey Gaggenau appliances.

The residence packs in a total of 5 beds and 7 baths, and the master is discreetly tucked away on the western end of the house. There are hardwood floors in the bedroom, marble floors and countertops in the bathroom, and there’s also a private outdoor oasis with a sitting area and an outdoor shower. For those of y’all exhibitionists who feel like letting it all hang out in the breeze, naturally.

A groovy (if rather compact) family room/lounge has a fancy wet bar with barstool seating, and somewhere there’s a 600-bottle wine room. Out back is a large stone terrace with plenty of seating options, a classy rectangular pool with inset spa, and a custom outdoor kitchen.

Nice as this place may be, we really can’t say if Mr. and Mrs. Macnguyen will ever spend a night on the premises. That’s because they already own not one but two equally fancy Los Angeles mansions.

Since 2012, the Macnguyen family’s main residence has been their Richard Landry-designed tennis court compound in Brentwood. Located deep in Mandeville Canyon within the exclusive Brentwood Country Estates community, the Tuscan-style mansion has an 11,000-square-foot main house and two acres of lush grounds.

Our Mr. Macnguyen forked over $18,000,000 to acquire his Brentwood residence. While that may seem like a lot of cheddar (and it is), records reveal the seller — the late band-aid heiress Libet Johnson, may she RIP — paid a whopping $23,450,000 for the property in 2007. Ouch!

And in case y’all were not aware, Brentwood Country Estates is the same exclusive gated enclave where other residents include Dr. Dre and our former Governator (Arnold Schwarzenegger).

In late 2016, for unknown reasons, Mr. Macnguyen paid $11,750,000 in cash for the Pacific Palisades mansion of NBA star DeAndre Jordan. Located in the exclusive Riviera neighborhood, the “modern Traditional” home has more than 10,000-square-feet of living space and virtually every luxury amenity imaginable.

Despite being firmly entrenched in the LA real estate market, Mr. and Mrs. Macnguyen actually spend a significant portion of their time out on Hawaii’s Big Island. It is there, on the volcanic Kailua Kona coast, where they own an oceanfront mansion with an infinity-edged swimming pool overlooking the deep blue waters of the Pacific. Now that’s a trophy property!

Listing agents: Branden Williams, Hilton & Hyland; Mauricio Umansky, The Agency
Curtis Macnguyen’s agent: Enzo Ricciardelli, Sotheby’s International Realty

(Before we get started with this tale, a quick and terribly shameless bit of braggadociousness. Yesterday was — quite easily — a record-breaking day for Yolanda’s blog. At least in terms of hits and traffic. We sincerely thank our subscribers and lurkers alike for your generous support. But on a more somber note, at least some of that enormous traffic stems from Yolanda being the first to write about Gerard Butler’s Malibu compound after he bought it two years ago. As many of y’all know, that place was destroyed over the weekend in the devastating Woolsey Fire and it seems that many curious lookie-loos want a peek at how it looked before the all-conquering flames returned it to the dust from whence it sprung. 

Pity about the loss of Mr. Butler’s home. It was amazing. But we digress.)

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“In the spring,” according to Alfred, Lord Tennyson, “a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.” That’s still true, of course. But ol’ Al lived back in the day, back when young men loved spinning poetry verses and owning the finest horses. Nowadays, savvy (and wealthy) young fellas amuse themselves by spinnin’ the tires on Ferraris and owning sexy bachelor pads in the hills.

Take Daniel Ricciardo. Still a very young man — not yet 30, in fact. But he’s got money and fame. While most of us ignorant Yanks (Yolanda included) have never before heard of this Aussie lad, he’s a very big deal in Europe and to anyone who follows Formula One, the world’s premier motorsport racing competition. Since the 2014 season, Mr. Ricciardo has competed in F1. And very lucratively, we might add — he was reportedly paid $6 million per year at the start of his professional career.

But life in the fast lane hasn’t all been fun and games for our Mr. Ricciardo. Our online research indicates that he’s faced some challenges in F1. He notoriously clashed — both personally and literally on the racetrack — with at least one of his Red Bull Racing teammates and was eventually ordered (by his bosses) to apologize to the team. That could be why — a couple months ago — Mr. Ricciardo announced his departure from Red Bull in favor of a new contract with Renault for the 2019 and 2020 seasons.

We don’t profess any knowledge of Mr. Ricciardo’s total net worth, but his new contract is rumored to be worth a whopping $70 million. Ka-ching!

Anyway, Mr. Ricciardo prefers to spend his summer off-seasons in Los Angeles, as he has done for each of the past three years. And now, as young bachelors of substantial means are wont to do, our boy has finally bit the bullet and purchased a new contemporary home with views for miles. Yes, kids, we know this is fall and not spring, but who cares. LA doesn’t have seasons. Love is in the air.

Located way high up in the mountains above Beverly Hills, in an area of LA city known as Beverly Hills Post Office, the sharply-creased and wood-sided contemporary was originally constructed in 1961 but rebuilt in 2018 by Woodbridge, the legally-embattled investment group that has been much in the real estate headlines over the past year. Records show that Mr. Ricciardo coughed up a hefty $8,750,000 for the property, just a tad under the $9 million ask.

The newly-reimagined box has 5 beds, 5.5 baths and a two-car garage in 5,255-square-feet of living space. A glassy front door leads to a toned-down open living spaced with wide-plank hardwood floors and white walls + ceilings. An enormous floor-to-ceiling wall of windows spans the room’s entire length.

Naturally the chic kitchen has high-end everything — SubZero fridge, Miele appliances, wine cooler.

The master suite takes up about half of the home’s second floor and includes a glassy bedroom with sitting area, an all-walnut closet, and a master bath with striking wood and stone accents, dual vanities, and a soaking tub. And just outside the master bedroom is a massive outdoor deck — one of the largest upstairs terraces we’ve seen in quite some time, actually. There are lovely views of Coldwater Canyon and out towards the Pacific Ocean.

While the .34-acre lot won’t win any size awards, the land is (mostly) usable and nicely terraced with various seating areas, palm trees, and drought-resistant landscaping. The pool features a sunbathing shelf and an inset spa. Plus there’s a large wood terrace perfect for outdoor entertaining.

Now let’s all wish Mr. Ricciardo luck with his upcoming 2019 racing season, his first with Renault. Remember, Mr. Ricciardo, you’re halfway a winner just by showing up. As ol’ Alfred famously said, it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

(If anyone is interested in helping victims of California’s deadly wildfire season — particularly the more financially disadvantaged victims in Northern California — click here for further information.)

Listing agent: Sally Forster Jones, Compass
Daniel Ricciardo’s agent: KJ Marmon, Pacific Union

It’s no secret that Los Angeles rental rates are astronomical — in fact, renters here spend an average of 47% of their income just to satisfy a landlord. And in Beverly Hills, mansion lessees fork over the cost of a luxury vehicle, each and every month, for their temporary 90210 address. We’re not talking C-Class prices here — more like S-Class cash.

To mere financial mortals, it may seem unfathomable that there are people willing to spend $100,000 per month on a house, but there are and they do.

Still, jaded as we are by these exorbitant prices, even Yolanda was mildly shocked upon stumbling across a luxury Beverly Hills rental asking $350,000 per month. At first we thought someone drunkenly added an extra zero to the ask, but nope. It seem the owners really do think their house commands a monthly lease rate that exceeds the cost of a mansion out in Weedhole, Oklahoma.

Good heavens! That’s a lot of cheddar. Matter of fact, $350k will buy you 130,111 boxes of Kraft singles from Target. For illustration purposes, y’all could donate one of them boxes to nearly every resident in the cities of Santa Monica, Malibu, and Calabasas. Combined.

But we digress. Though the property is technically held solely in the name of a Swiss woman named Jacqueline Baudit, it is common knowledge that Ms. Baudit has long been married to a very, very wealthy Italian film producer named Aurelio De Laurentiis.

Our Mr. De Laurentiis is a nephew of legendary Oscar-winning producer Dino De Laurentiis (may he RIP) and has himself produced and distributed more than 400 films during his 69 years on this planet. However, he is probably best-known — as least to the European public — for having owned the professional Italian football team Napoli since 2004.

Though his ownership of Napoli seems successful and the team has had no financial hardships, Mr. De Laurentiis remains a controversial figure. That’s probably thanks to his notoriously short temper and his propensity to do — and say — just about anything when his feathers get ruffled, no matter how politically incorrect. One of his choicer quotes is “The English live badly, eat badly and their women do not wash their genitalia.” At a 2011 press conference, he became enraged and yelled “I will quit football, you lot are all shit.” And he once fined a Napoli football player for posing in his underpants for a gay men’s magazine because it “disgusted” him. Oh my!

Anyway, we confess ignorance as to Mr. De Laurentiis’s net worth, but he’s got houses around the world and even owned his own floating mansion, the superyacht Angra, though the ship recently — and rather spectacularly — burst into flames and was destroyed off the coast of Italy while the entire De Laurentiis family was aboard. (Luckily, everyone survived without injuries).

And for anyone who was wondering, yes, Mr. De Laurentiis is indeed related to Food Network celebrity chef Giada De Laurentiis — they are first cousins once removed. (Incidentally, Ms. De Laurentiis also has a taste for contemporary Los Angeles mansions. But we digress yet again.)

Records show that Baudit-De Laurentiis couple originally purchased the property way back in 2003 for just $2,750,000. They razed the existing contemporary structure and replaced it with a much larger single-story abode. According to the listing, the new house has 7 beds (five en-suite bedrooms and two staff rooms) and 11 baths in 9,500-square-feet of chic living space, and was completed in 2008.

We really don’t know why Mr. De Laurentiis wanted (or needed) such a big and glamorous home in Beverly Hills — it’s our understanding he spends most of his days in Europe — but his son Luigi De Laurentiis graduated from USC’s film school, so maybe that’s why the LA crash pad came to fruition.

Regardless, the house itself isn’t particularly amazing — while certainly luxurious and sleek, it’s a slightly generic design — but the view and pool are exceptional. The listing claims that the house is “by far one of the top 5 view estates in the entire city” and we don’t disagree. There are vistas from the Downtown LA skyline to the Pacific Ocean and Catalina Island — on a clear day, of course. And then there’s that swimmin’ pool, which at 5,000-square-feet is one of the largest Yolanda has ever laid eyes upon. You could fit a small mansion in that thing. Literally!

The house is located in the northern end of Beverly Hills, high above Sunset Boulevard and on a quiet cul-de-sac shared with only three other homes — including a massive Paul McClean-designed compound next door that is owned by a Saudi sheikh. So you know there’s bound to be plenty of security in this neighborhood.

Tall hedges and big gates conceal the residence from prying eyes, and trendy ebonized hardwood floors run throughout the structures. The master suite has a build-in soaking tub, a fireplace, and walls of glass that blur the border between the outdoors and in. There are monolithic hallways, a home theater, a gym, and nearly all the home’s materials are of the exotic imported variety. Our Mr. De Laurentiis isn’t one to cut cost corners on his own residence.

The lot sports more than an acre of flat land, which allows for sprawling lawns and numerous outdoor seating/dining options. Relax, breathe, soak up the sun.

Yolanda has no idea who is in the market for a lease of this amount, and we have no idea what this place would fetch if it were ever offered for sale on the open market — we’ll leave to the real estate experts. But if we were pressed to guess, we’d wager it would go for $40 million or maybe even more. By that measure, $350,000 per month almost seems a bargain.

Listing agent: Drew Fenton, Hilton & Hyland

We know some folks accuse us of being too LA-centric, but Yolanda really does enjoy monitoring real estate moves in many other locales. This evening we took a quick peek behind the Orange Curtain to check on the action in our favorite OC seaside communities: Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Laguna Beach, and Dana Point.

Turns out there’s been plenty of big sales down yonder in recent months, but tonight we wanted to post a quickie tale about a house in Laguna Beach, arguably the most expensive neighborhood in Orange County. And the most expensive neighborhood pockets of Laguna — as y’all should already know if you’ve been following this blog for some time — are the Irvine Cove and Emerald Bay gated communities. We shall discuss the latter today.

Emerald Bay is more than just another posh, exclusive rich people neighborhood. It’s a whole lifestyle. Not only does the enclave have one of the slickest websites we’ve ever seen (for a gated community, that is) but the hefty HOA dues go toward maintaining a staffed community clubhouse, six tennis courts with a full-time tennis pro/instructor, a 1/2 mile private beach, volleyball courts, basketball court, kids’ playground, three private parks, a heated swimming pool complex, and much more. Heck, the community even has its own fire station.

Current Emerald Bay homeowners include UFC billionaire Frank Fertitta III, LA Fitness CEO/owner/founder Louis Welch, and James & Nancy Baldwin, the couple who currently rank #1 (by several country miles) on the top 500 list of delinquent California taxpayers with an incredible $271 million owed in back taxes. (Think your life is stressful? Imagine Uncle Sam chasing you for more than a quarter billion in tax money. Feeling better?)

Of course, buying into the Emerald Bay lifestyle will cost y’all. Though there are about 500 homes in the neighborhood, making this one of the largest gated communities in SoCal, none of them are cheap. Prices start in the $3-4 million range for smaller homes with no view and can easily soar into the tens of millions for oceanfront mansions. Yolanda’s research indicates that the most ever paid for a property here was the $45 million (or so) that German billionaire Hasso Plattner paid for a two-house blufftop compound in 2014. And at least two other properties have sold for approximately $35 million.

Today’s house sits directly across the street from Mr. Plattner’s $45 million compound and was sold to an LLC last month for $15,554,000 by real estate mogul James Slavik. Though the public real estate listing does not include any photos of the home’s exterior, it is a large Mediterranean-style blufftop structure squeezed in between two other big mansions, as y’all can see below.

Anyway, the buyer is a guy from Houston, Texas named David P. Steiner. While he ain’t a celebrity, Mr. Steiner’s name may ring a bell if you follow big business — he toiled as CEO of Waste Management, America’s largest trash company, from 2004 to 2016.

Yes, kiddies, it’s a dirty job. But somebody’s gotta do it — and Mr. Steiner was paid handsomely for doin’ it. From 2006 to 2012 alone, he hauled in an eye-popping $45,581,052 in total compensation, leading PRWatch to describe him as “America’s Highest Paid Sanitation Worker“. Laugh all you like, but trash can be a very profitable business — Waste Management employs over 42,000 Americans and last year (2017) hauled in more than $14 billion in total revenue.

Since our boy Mr. Steiner’s resignation from Waste Management two years ago, he has joined the Board of Directors at Vulcan Materials and also serves on the board at FedEx Corp. Still, he’s found time to enjoy the rewards of sifting through all that garbage — let’s take a quick gander at his new California digs.

The Mediterranean-style mansion clings to the side of a sheer cliff and features stunning southward views that stretch all the way to Dana Point at the OC’s southern tip. The nearly 6,000-square-foot residence appears to be single-story from the street out front but drops down mullet-style to three full floors out back. There are 6 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms, a four-car garage, an elevator, a wet bar, and a retractable skylight.

Perhaps the only amenity missing here is an outdoor swimming pool or spa. But with the ocean just a quick skip away, who needs that?

An examination of property records reveals the current structure was built in 1991 and picked up by the seller — the previously mentioned Mr. Slavik — for $15,500,000 in 2013. That means, of course, that the house only appreciated by $54,000 — or 0.35% — over five years. With taxes, realtor fees, maintenance and closing costs, we would bet that Mr. Slavik lost a significant amount of dough on this place, though it’s not likely a guy worth $600+ million will lose sleep over it.

The master suite has a glassy pair of French doors that lead to a lovely outdoor balcony directly overlooking the entirety of Emerald Bay and the private beach. It’s certainly a world away from those rather dull Waste Management corporate headquarters back in Houston.

Speaking of Houston, Mr. Steiner, his longtime wife Judy, and their three adult sons (Paul, Matthew, Michael) still reside in the area. Since 2006, when Mr. Steiner bought it for $2,355,000, the family’s main residence has been a large brick mansion in the well-to-do West University Place neighborhood.

The Steiners’ Houston residence sports a comfy 6,880-square-feet of living space with 5 beds and 5.5 baths. There are grassy lawns front and rear, a swimming pool, and extensive stone terrace space for lounging and sunbathing, provided the notoriously finicky Houston weather is pleasant.

Listing agent: Rod Daley, Coldwell Banker
David Steiner’s agent: Hanz Radlein, Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices

The Los Angeles Almanac says that LA’s richest resident is Elon Musk, a guy who makes do with a net worth of $22 billion or so. While true — Yolanda does not doubt he is our richest full-time resident — there are an assortment of other folks even richer than ol’ Musky who own part-time vacation homes here. Take Jeff Bezos, the world’s richest human. He’s got a two-house compound in Beverly Hills. Larry Ellison has 235,000 houses in Malibu. And Sheldon Adelson also has a baker’s dozen Malibu homes (or so).

Not that any of this really matters. At some point, the gap in wealth between billionaires becomes purely academic. What’s the difference between a guy worth $22 billion and a guy worth $92 billion, other than rank on the Forbes list? Neither of them could ever spend all that in a lifetime.

But anyway, there’s another unfathomably rich person who also owns residential property in LA, although we don’t think it has been reported until now. He is a Frenchman named Bernard Arnault, and Forbes claims he’s worth more than $70 billion. That’s enough moolah to make him the 4th-richest man on Earth, behind only our Mr. Bezos, Bill Gates, and Warren Buffet.

Some of y’all may know that Mr. Arnault has long been head honcho at LVMH, by far the world’s biggest luxury goods conglomerate. LVMH owns Louis Vuitton, Sephora, Dior, Givenchy, Fendi, Bulgari, Hublot, Rimowa, Veuve Cliquot, and dozens of other high-end brands. LVMH is now so massive — the group’s total revenue topped $48 billion USD last year — that Mr. Arnault has a virtual monopoly on the worldwide luxury goods market, save for his arch-rivals at Kering.

But Mr. Arnault isn’t just LVMH’s Chairman and CEO. The 69-year-old essentially built the colossal conglomerate singlehandedly, and the Arnault family owns nearly half of the publicly-traded business.

Speaking of family, Mr. Arnault has been married twice and has five adult children, four sons and one daughter. All of his kids have executive roles at LVMH — or roles at one or more of the brands under the LVMH umbrella. Mr. Arnault and his current lady-love — French-Canadian concert pianist Hélène Mercier have been hitched since 1991.

In his spare time, Mr. Arnault reportedly enjoys collecting art — he’s already got a world-class collection, as y’all might expect — and sailing on his $150 million Symphony superyacht. But oh dear, we’re rambling on a bit now. If you’d like to read more about Mr. Arnault, might we suggest the Financial Times‘ fascinating in-depth profile, which includes an interview with the big man himself.

Onto the subject at hand. Over the last two years, Mr. Arnault has quietly acquired five very prime residential properties in and around Beverly Hills. And he paid top dollar for all five parcels — by our calculations, his expenditures total more than $125 million so far. And that’s just the land, kids.

Normally transactions of that size would get sniffed out by someone, but we think the reason Mr. Arnault’s acquisitions flew under the radar for so long is because all five of the homes were never publicly listed for sale, and all five were purchased via oddly-named LLCs that mask the owner’s true identity.

Before we take a property peek, y’all should know that it’s not particularly surprising that Mr. Arnault would be in the mood to acquire Los Angeles real estate. Though he mainly resides in France, Mr. Arnault (and LVMH) already own about half of Rodeo Drive. (He/they paid a whopping $110 million earlier this year for yet another storefront there, and he’s rumored to be in escrow on a $250 million double-lot). And don’t forget that Mr. Arnault made his first fortune in real estate — long, long before LVMH came to be.

Mr. Arnault’s first residential acquisition closed in September 2016, when he paid $32,500,000 (in cash, naturally) for a house located on what is oft-considered the best street in Trousdale Estates.

The large home — which was sold by a non-famous Iranian family — was a rather pedestrian mid-century modern thing. We say “was” because Mr. Arnault almost immediately demolished the structure and is now midway through construction on something new. Something quite massive, too, but the details are murky. More on that in a sec.

Just last month (October 2018), Mr. Arnault paid exactly $30 million for the house next door, a rather bulky mid-century modern sold by another non-famous Iranian family. The house has more than 6,400-square-feet of living space, a large motorcourt and a pool, but we doubt any of that interests Mr. Arnault. Y’all can be certain that all those luxury features will soon be headed for the local landfill.

We believe that Mr. Arnault is planning one gigantic compound to cover both lots, which combined total 2.84 acres of uber-prime real estate (though about half that land is unusable hillside). Although you can’t see it from your computer/phone screens, both lots are blessed with jetliner views of the LA skyline, the sort of thing from which Southern California real estate dreams are made.

Yolanda pored over dozens of permits and while we are still unclear about what exactly Mr. Arnault is plotting up in Trousdale, it appears that several well-known local firms — Vantage Design Group, Crest Real Estate, Shawmut Design & Construction — are involved with the project.

But wait, there’s more. In November 2017, Mr. Arnault forked out $16,950,000 for a house high in the nearby so-called Bird Streets of the Hollywood Hills. Scarcely two months later, he paid another $14,500,000 for the smaller home next door. Both houses are located on the so-called “Front row” of the neighborhood, a hillside with spectacular views of the LA basin.

Anyway, both houses were soon razed and Mr. Arnault is currently in the early stages of building something — again, we’re not sure what — on the 0.83-acres of dirt. But if it’s a big spec-mansion being planned, the timing is curious. Sales in the Birds are quite sluggish these days. Maybe Mr. Arnault knows something to which we ain’t privy?

The final piece of Mr. Arnault’s property puzzle (so far, at least) is arguably the most impressive of all. Back in June 2017, our boy paid a wild $33,900,000 for a 3.64-acre estate high in the mountains above Beverly Hills, in an area known as Beverly Hills Post Office (BHPO). It is our understanding that the property was essentially vacant at the time of his acquisition and he is now in the very early stages of building something — but again, we haven’t the foggiest idea what that something is.

Just to give you an idea of how anti-cheap Mr. Arnault is, the seller of the BHPO property — handbag entrepreneur turned real estate developer Bruce Makowsky — paid “just” $18.4 million for the property less than three years before selling it to Mr. Arnault. That means Mr. Makowsky raked in a profit of over $15 million! Minus realtor fees, permit expenses, any improvements and other ancillary costs, of course.

Anywho. Yolanda’s guess (and remember, it’s just a guess) is that these three new compounds are not intended to be family homes for the Arnaults. Rather, they will be spec-mansions of the highest order and will eventually be listed for sale with absurd nine-figure pricetags. Such happenings are quickly becoming the new normal in LA.

But if that is Mr. Arnault’s intention, we worry about his likelihood of success. How many folks with $100+ million to spend on a house are looking to buy in LA? We’ve got plenty of billionaires, sure. But even most billionaires don’t care to break real estate records with showy giga-mansions. And in Trousdale alone, Mr. Arnault has already spent $62.5 million on dirt. Once the new pad is complete, he’ll probably be into the project for close to $100 million.

Not likely that a profit can be turned from that. But we suppose if anyone can do it, it’s Mr. Arnault.

Listen kiddies, today has been super hectic and we really don’t have time to sit and dawdle like we normally do. So instead of blabbing away for hours, this story is going to be super condensed and unusually short. Problem? Take it up with our lawyer.

After years on and off the market, a private compound on the sandiest part of prestigious Malibu Road has sold for a discounted $17,500,000. Though the property was technically acquired by an LLC, the buyers are a couple from New York named Edward Minskoff and Julie Minskoff (née Chai).

(For the record, this sale closed about a week before the devastating Woolsey fire decimated much of Malibu, but it does not appear that this property was affected — it’s a bit southeast of the burn area.)

Our Mr. Minskoff, now in his late 70s, is a self-made real estate mogul with an enormous portfolio of commercial properties — mainly in Manhattan — that include various skyscrapers such as the IBM building and Astor Place Towers. His personal net worth has been estimated to be $620 million, making him one of NYC’s 20 wealthiest real estate developers.

Mr. & Mrs. Minskoff have been married for the last 23 years and have a college-aged son named Justin (Mr. Minskoff also has two older children from prior marriages). The couple are one of North America’s preeminent collectors of 20th century contemporary art. As of 2008, they had approximately 500 name-brand pieces in their collection, though that number has almost certainly grown over the ensuing decade. They own at least 19 works by Picasso, in addition to many pieces by internationally renowned artists like Damien Hirst, Jeff Koons, Basquiat, and Roy Lichtenstein.

As it turns out, the Minskoffs are not new to Malibu. For the last eight years, they have owned a luxury Malibu Road compound — a compound that happens to be right next door to the $17.5 million spread they just purchased. Records reveal that the couple paid exactly $30 million for their first Malibu spread back in 2010. Keep in mind, y’all, that this was back when the world was still emerging from a global economic recession. We are pretty damn certain that the Minskoffs’ Malibu purchase was one of LA County’s five biggest residential homes sales of that year.

With their new $17,500,000 acquisition, the Minskoffs now preside over a $47.5 million oceanfront compound with multiple structures, two pools, a four-car garage and nearly 9,000-square-feet of total living space, all on more than a half-acre of land.

The $17.5 million property is located just outside the hallowed Malibu Colony gates and was originally built way back in 1927. If the listing is to be believed, the mini-compound is steeped in Hollywood history — Mario Puzo allegedly wrote The Godfather on the premises, and Constance Bennett supposedly leased the estate during the height of her career (in the 1930s). There are three separate structures on the .27-acre lot — the main house, a guesthouse, and a petite teahouse — and a total of 4 beds and 4.5 baths in about 3,100-square-feet of total living space.

Naturally Yolanda has no idea what the Minskoffs plan to do with their new Malibu spread, but our guess is they will use the whole shebang as guest quarters or maybe as storage space for a portion of their world-class art collection.

When he’s not chillin’ in Malibu or at work, you can usually find Mr. Minskoff rattling around in one of his New York homes. He and the missus have long owned a city pied-a-terre in Manhattan, at the “billionaire-beloved” 730 Park Avenue historic co-op building on the Upper East Side.

Like many New Yorkers with the financial means, the Minskoffs also have a country/weekend retreat in the Hamptons. Their extravagant Southampton spread was custom-built for them by venerated architect Robert A.M. Stern and is situated on a quiet cul-de-sac, surrounded by equally posh estates owned by some of America’s wealthiest peeps.

According to records, the two-parcel property features a 10,157-square-foot main mansion, a 3,672-square-foot guest house, a pool/spa combo, a full-size tennis court, half-size sports court, and formal gardens. All this on nearly four acres of exquisitely manicured grounds.

Way out in Florida, Mr. and Mrs. Minskoff own a condo at Faena House, the luxury tower known colloquially as Miami’s “Billionaires’ Bunker”. They bought the 4,200-square-foot unit in 2015 for just over $15.3 million and recently flipped it back onto the market with a $16,500,000 ask.

Listing agents: Shirley, Lloyd & Brittany Sherman, Douglas Elliman
Edward Minskoff’s agent: Susan Monus, Coldwell Banker

It’s been some time since we’ve discussed a house on LA’s Eastside, the part of our fine city that includes trendy (and historically hipster) communities like Silver Lake, Echo Park, and Los Feliz. Though oft-overlooked by snooty Westside homebuyers, flocks of wealthy creative types — and celebrities in general — have migrated out yonder toward the rising sun. And over the past few years, Eastside prices have soared — probably more dramatically so than any neighborhood out west, in fact.

So for your viewing pleasure today, here’s a treasured ol’ estate set high in the hills above Beachwood Canyon. Does Beachwood count as an Eastside neighborhood? We’re not sure. But close enough.

The Spanish-style property was owned for decades by the Aldous Huxley family, he the late, great author most famous for his watershed dystopian novel Brave New World. Our Mr. Huxley passed way back in 1963, but his much younger widow Laura continued to reside in the house until her 2007 death.

(A bit of trivia: Mr. Huxley died in this house. In the final hours of his life, unable to speak, the cancer-stricken writer scrawled out a note to his wife asking for an LSD injection. The late Mrs. Huxley obliged and her husband “tripped” his way out of this world, so to speak. What a way to go, right?)

Anyway, the Spanish-style casa fell into disrepair during the latter years of the Widow Huxley’s lifetime. In May 2008, shortly after her death, it was sold for just $1,950,000 to a woman named Rosemary Macedo, who sunk lots of money into renovations and endowed the ol’ gurl with a new lease on life.

Over the summer (2018), Ms. Macedo put the redone property up for sale with a $4.5 million ask. Buyers flocked to the home and it entered escrow within five days, quickly selling for $4,300,000. The all-cash purchaser, interestingly enough, is very obviously actress Zelda Williams — she purchased the abode through the same corporate entity that owns her nearby “starter” house. (More on that other pad later).

Miss Williams is a very young lass (she’s still in her 20s), the only daughter of the late iconic comedian Robin Williams. As most of y’all probably know, Mr. Williams tragically took his own life back in 2014, leaving an estate conservatively valued at $100 million to be divided between his third wife and his three adult children from prior marriages.

Our gurl Miss Williams is a product of her father’s second marriage to former nanny Marsha Garces and has been acting since she was a mere 5 years old. Since then, she’s amassed dozens of film and TV credits. Fun fact: one of Miss Williams’ favorite pastimes is playing video games, appropriate for a gal named after The Legend of Zelda.

The two-story Beachwood abode isn’t really large enough to qualify as a mansion, but it does sport 4 beds and 4.5 baths in a healthy 4,066-square-feet of living space. Plus there’s a detached two-car garage and wee garden shed. Perhaps the most valuable feature of the property, however, is the ultra-private .67-acre double lot. Miss Williams has essentially no neighbors near her secluded promontory. Another cool facet is that the house is one of the closest in LA to the famed Hollywood Sign — Miss Williams could literally hike from her backyard up to the popular tourist destination.

Of course, the estate is protected by tall gates and hedges plus an elaborate security system.

Gleaming hardwood floors run throughout the home, and the double-height living room sports huge windows and French doors that flood the place with light. Plus there’s an oversized fireplace for chilly nights. Elsewhere is a formal dining room and another dining area on the huge brick terrace outside.

The kitchen isn’t particularly big, nor does it have the high-end appliances Yolanda is used to seeing in $4.3 million properties. But it does have a center island with bar-style seating, a stainless fridge and range, plus a lovely balcony with views of the Hollywood Hills. Imagine setting up a little table and chair out there, and drinking your cappuccino every morning while admiring that view.

Upstairs is the master suite, which has another private (covered) balcony. The all-new master bath has dual vanities and a glassy shower.

Though the hillside property is steeply sloped, the backyard has been nicely terraced into an outdoor amphitheater with multi-level seating tiers. Your gurl would imaging those seating areas could be converted into tiers of formal gardens, should Miss Williams decide to do so.

On the estate’s upper pad is a classy rectangular swimming pool surrounded by a cement terrace, and the property is also blessed with a sprawling lawn and mature palm trees. The westward views make for postcard-perfect sunsets, and the hilltop home also has sightlines to the Griffith Observatory and the Downtown LA skyline.

In a move that should come as little shock to anyone, and as was first outed by Our Mama at Variety, Miss Williams has already placed her old “starter” residence up for sale with an asking price of $3,200,000, nearly double the $1.876 she paid in 2011. The 1928 Spanish-style pad is located in the nearby Bronson Canyon neighborhood, less than 10 minutes by car away from the new place.

The three-story structure has 5 beds and 5 baths in a spacious 3,400-square-feet of living space. According to the MLS, the property is already in escrow and looking for backup offers. Like what you see? You may still have a chance, so get on it.

Listing agent: Jeff Yarbrough, Keller Williams
Zelda Williams’ agent: Sarah Jackson, Compass

In case y’all somehow forgot, professional sports is an extremely lucrative business — not just for the players by virtue of their enormous contracts, but also for the team owners, managers and coaches, too. Take Los Angeles Lakers head coach Luke Walton, who was signed to a five-year deal with a healthy base salary of $5 million per year. That’s enough cheddar to afford him a $7.2 million Manhattan Beach mansion. But excessive as that salary may seem to mere financial mortals, that sort of money is peanuts to a team this valuable.

As one of the NBA’s marquee franchises, Forbes estimates the Lakers are worth a breathtaking $3 billion. That’s certainly good news for the children of the late Dr. Jerry Buss, the team’s charismatic longtime owner. Upon his 2013 death, his six adult kids inherited a 66% majority stake in the Lakers. Assuming the Forbes valuation is accurate — and we have no reason to doubt it is — that would make each kid’s 11% share worth a whopping $330 million. On paper, at least.

In the five years since their dad’s death, the six Buss children (Johnny, Jim, Jeanie, Janie, Joey, Jesse) have been busy putting their inheritance to work — not just by signing King LeBron James to an unprecedented $154 million deal, but also by acquiring some of LA’s most desirable real estate.

This month (November 2018), a brand-new contemporary mansion in the searingly expensive Brentwood area sold for $9,750,000, not far below the hefty $9.995 million asking price. Located on one of the neighborhood’s premier hillside streets, the house is blessed with head-on ocean views from every room.

Although the property was purchased via a blind trust, Yolanda discovered the new owner is Jesse Buss, the youngest of Dr. Buss’s six spawn and a prominent figure in the Lakers’ team management.

30-year-old Mr. Buss, in addition to being enormously wealthy at a very young age, wields great power (and likewise, great responsibility). He previously served as the Lakers’ Director of Scouting, responsible for handpicking draft prospects and recruiting new talent. In 2015, Mr. Buss was promoted to become the team’s Assistant General Manager, making his opinion even more vital to personnel decisions.

Our boy has become a recognizable face of the Lakers franchise and now boasts more than 100,000 followers on the Instagram contraption. And yes — for any curious ladies who might be reading this — Mr. Buss is indeed single and (presumably) ready to mingle, though he does share a toddler-age son with his ex-fiancee/baby mama Jordanna Younger.

Coincidentally (or maybe not), Mr. Buss’s new house happens to be located on the very same street as the much larger mansion that King James bought last year for $23 million. But no word on whether the pair will be carpooling to Laker games, unfortunately. We rather think not, but y’all never know.

The slick new bachelor pad of Mr. Buss was built on spec by a local developer and drawn up by Malibu-based Amit Apel Design Inc. As best we can tell, the developer acquired the rather petite .19-acre property in late 2014 for a mere $1,836,000. He soon razed the existing residence, the so-called Henstell House designed by legendary architect A. Quincy Jones. (But the demolition didn’t happen without a fight: architect and Jones biographer Cory Buckner attempted to have the home declared a historical monument, but was ultimately unsuccessful in her quest).

Anyway, the new blocky residence includes a two-car garage plus off-street parking for at least a couple more vehicles. Though the structure sits rather hard up on the street, road noise is minimized thanks to a partial screen of privacy hedges. Total square footage here is 6,500-square-feet spread across three full floors with a total of 6 bedrooms (all of them en-suite) and 8 bathrooms.

The main level features light brown hardwood floors, soaring ceilings with dozens (hundreds?) of those ever-trendy recessed LED lights, and an open-concept floorpan. The living area centers around a massive fireplace and is conveniently adjacent to the snazzily minimalist kitchen, with its walls of Australian oak cabinets, high-end Wolf/SubZero appliances and Dekton countertops (they could easily pass for marble).

The main floor also sports two enormous walls of glass Fleetwood sliders that magically disappear. Voilà! It’s a quintessential SoCal indoor/outdoor living situation.

Due to the small lot size, the backyard isn’t quite as big as one might expect for nearly $10 million, but it does have generous terraces, an infinity-edged swimming pool and adjacent spa, and a tiny strip of lawn that’s pretty much unusable for all but a small dog run. Still, who needs a huge backyard with that view?

Four of the home’s six bedroom suites are located on the upper level, including the master with its fireplace, sitting area, and private balcony. Naturally there’s a fashionista-sized closet and a bathroom with a soaking tub, dual vanities, and glassy shower.

Things get buckwild down in the subterranean lower level, where there are gleaming terrazzo (?) floors, a temperature-controlled wine rack, fancy pool table, a “fully illuminated” onyx wet bar, home theater with tiered seating, and a yoga studio/gym with a full wall of glass for admiring your sweat-soaked body.

Back in 2015, when Mr. Buss was just a wee lad of 27, he and his ex (Ms. Younger) paid $3,800,000 for a brand-new Traditional house in the nearby Westwood neighborhood. Yolanda assumes (without any firsthand knowledge, mind you) that baby mama will continue to reside out there while Mr. Buss hightails it over to his fancy new Brentwood spread.

Listing agent: Ari Shram, The Agency
Jesse Buss’s agent: Jen Beron, The Agency

Today we decided to give y’all a quick peek at a big new house located high in the mountains above Beverly Hills, in a celeb-soaked area known as Beverly Hills Post Office (BHPO). Built on spec in the trendy Traditional/faux-Cape Cod style, the 6,000-square-foot pad was recently sold for a hefty $5,700,000 to a blind trust front for local LA power couple Dr. Jenn Mann and Eric Schiffer.

The psychotherapist Dr. Mann, in addition to having a private practice in Beverly Hills, has frequently been featured on various media outlets. Fans of reality TV might recognize her as the star of long-running VH1 shows Couples Therapy and its spin-off Family Therapy with Dr. Jenn. On those shows, Dr. Mann counseled celebrities on their occasionally silly (but quite often serious) relationship and family problems. (She’s apparently good at what she does — she had the rapper DMX crying in her lap in at least episode). And Dr. Jenn also hosts The Dr. Jenn Show on SiriusXM radio and has authored a book on improving relationships.

In addition to her professional success, Dr. Mann happens to be the only child of legendary (married) songwriters Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil. Her parents have authored numerous international hits, which include “Blame It on the Bossa Nova,” “We Gotta Get Out Of This Place,” “Never Gonna Let You Go,” and “I Will Come To You,” among many others. But their most famous song remains “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’,” which was named the most-played song on American radio of the 20th century.

As most everyone familiar with the music industry knows, the real big bucks are in songwriting, not singing/performing. Judging by the size of Dr. Mann’s parents’ Beverly Hills home, they’ve been well-rewarded for their contributions to the industry. But more on that place later — we digress for now.

Dr. Mann’s longtime romantic partner is no stranger to media and fame, either. In fact, Mr. Schiffer is arguably even better-known than his famous girlfriend — he gained fame as the founder of cybersecurity firm Reputation Management Consultants and as CEO of private equity firm The Patriarch Organization.

Our boy Mr. Schiffer is often called upon to offer commentary on cybersecurity, the economy and beyond — he’s a regular contributor to Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, and CNBC. If y’all watch the news with any frequency, you’ve probably caught a glimpse of him at some point.

The social media-savvy Mr. Schiffer also sports more than 200,000 followers on the Instagram contraption, which is a ton for a businessman. And like his lady-love, he has branched out into writing — he penned the bestselling business book Emotionally Charged Learning.

Anywho, Mr. Schiffer and Dr. Mann are not married, but they’ve been happily coupled for at least five years and share their big new home with Dr. Mann’s preteen twin daughters from her first marriage.

The bright white abode was completed in 2017, according to the listing, and immediately put up for sale in March of that year with a $5,995,000 asking price. Surprisingly, the house took a very long time to sell — we say “surprisingly” because these spec-built Traditionals usually go like hotcakes. But after more than a year on the market (and at least one change of realtors), the property eventually transferred for the discounted $5.7 million.

Although the .38-acre hillside lot isn’t particularly huge, the backyard features all the requisite luxury amenities that buyers expect at this pricepoint — a sparkling saltwater pool w/ inset spa, a grassy lawn area, a full outdoor bar and kitchen and a covered loggia with various dining and lounging options.

Out front, a short flight of stone steps and a two-car garage greet visitors. The interiors go for a (very) neutral color scheme with acres of white and off-white. Like most other newly-built mansions, the main floor has an open-concept floorpan with soaring ceilings and dozens of recessed LED lights. Wide-plank hardwood floors run throughout the entirety of the home’s 6,000-square-feet of living space.

Yolanda does quite like the kitchen, which boasts not one but two islands — one of which has bar-style seating — top-of-the-line Wolf appliances, and pricey marble countertops and backsplash. The kitchen opens directly to both the formal dining room and a more intimate breakfast table. Sets of French doors and disappearing Fleetwood walls of glass flood the downstairs with light.

Somewhere downstairs there’s a private sanctuary/library/office/retreat. And just off the formal dining room is a long, long staircase that gracefully ascends to the private family quarters upstairs.

The property sports a total of 6 bedrooms (all of them en-suite) and 7 baths. The second-floor master has a sitting area, a fireplace, and sliding Fleetwood doors that open to a private balcony overlooking the backyard. Elsewhere is a bathroom with a soaking tub, a party-sized shower (with rainfall showerhead) and a walk-in closet with ample storage space.

Way back in 2002, Dr. Mann and her first husband Joshua Berman paid $1,055,000 for a rather petite Mediterranean-style villa in BHPO. Records show that Mr. Berman deeded the home over to his ex-wife upon their divorce and Mr. Schiffer eventually moved into the cute renovated abode, which weighs in at just under 3,000-square-feet of living space.

Property records also show that Dr. Mann sold the Benedict Canyon house in a quiet off-market deal this August (2018) for $2,100,000 to a Beverly Hills urologist named Anna Fuchs.

As for Dr. Mann’s parents, they have long resided in a spacious compound with nearly 9,000-square-feet of living space. Located in one of Beverly Hills’ best neighborhood pockets, the $10+ million property actually borders the $25 million estate of Taylor Swift.

Anywho. Mazel tov to Dr. Mann and Mr. Schiffer on their big new 90210 digs. And just for the record, we hope to never cross paths with Dr. Mann — not because she doesn’t seem like a nice lady, but because of our irrational shrink-phobia. You see, Yolanda is so nutty that we fear the good Doc would have a field day with us and we’d never get off that couch. But as always, we digress.

Listing agents: Neyshia Go, Compass; Payman Shilian
Dr. Jenn Mann & Eric Schiffer’s agent: Michael Libow, Coldwell Banker

Today is Thanksgiving for the Yanks among us! In addition to life and health, Yolanda is thankful for the numerous cool houses all over LA. And no, sillies, we don’t just have McMansions out here. Take this sublime mid-century modern quietly purchased late last year by accomplished actress Julie Bowen. (Yeah, we were a bit slow on the uptake).

Ms. Bowen is best-known these days for her long-running role on the hit sitcom Modern Family — for which she has won two Emmy Awards — but she’s had a successful Hollywood career for 20+ years now, starring in numerous bigtime shows and films. Ever heard of Lost, Boston Legal, Happy Gilmore, Dawson’s Creek, or Ed? Sure you have.

A couple months ago, the Baltimore native finalized her divorce from longtime hubby Scott Phillips, with whom she shares three sons between the ages of 9 and 11. As such, Ms. Bowen has bid a fond “hasta la vista” to her groovy mid-century residence in Studio City (Mr. Phillips got that in the split) and headed up the hill to her swingin’ new single lady house.

Now, Ms. Bowen is a very wealthy woman — she reportedly hauls in $12 million per year and consistently ranks among the top 10 highest-paid TV actresses. So while we imagine she can afford just about any house she wants, Ms. Bowen doesn’t go in for hulking Beverly Hills mansions the way some other actresses do. Like, oh, say, Sofia Vergara. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

No, it’s quite clear that Ms. Bowen has a taste for stylishly cozy mid-centuries, so that’s what she has selected. And she wanted this place quite badly, too — the house sold barely a month after being listed and property records show Ms. Bowen paid $3.1 million — $250,000 more than the asking price.

Built in 1959 and designed by noted architect Thornton Abell — he’s also responsible for Case Study House #7 — the glassy structure has a wee bit of Hollywood history. Back near the dawn of time (October 2000) it was acquired for just over a million bucks by prominent real estate agent Jonah Wilson, a son of Beach Boys co-founder/guitarist Carl Wilson. Our Mr. Wilson then spent another $700k+ on a comprehensive restoration and expansion overseen by architect Tony Unruh and Bonura Building.

In 2005, Mr. Wilson sold the property for $2,530,000 to Veronique Passani, widow of legendary actor Gregory Peck. It seems Ms. Passani — may she RIP — wisely changed very little about the house before her 2012 death. It appears the house was then inherited by her son Tony Peck, the fella who recently sold it to Ms. Bowen.

Just for the record, this is one of Yolanda’s favorite homes ever profiled on here. (And no, we haven’t even started drinking yet). Yep, we’d hardly change a thing — save for that ugly blacktopped driveway, maybe.

Located way high up in the Hollywood Hills, on a quiet street just off iconic Mulholland Drive, the 1.03-acre property is commendably private. A long driveway leads to a large security gate and a tree-lined motorcourt. And while the home does not have a conventional garage, there is a two-vehicle carport — arguably a more graceful manner of automobile storage anyway.

According to the listing, the butterfly-roofed home has 4 beds and 3.25 baths in 3,212-square-feet of living space spread between the main structure and separate guest quarters. Nifty features include a garden atrium entry, sliding glass walls/doors, terrazzo floors, and a sexy bar with teak cabinetry.

The kitchen has been updated with high-end stainless appliances, and we’d love to get our hands on that swoon-worthy round table and chairs. For chilly nights, there’s an original outdoor fireplace. No word on if the foosball table was included with sale, but certainly Ms. Bowen’s boys will make use of it if so.

The master suite (expanded during Mr. Wilson’s ownership) features a fireplace, sitting area, walls of glass and a pool view in the bedroom, and the bathroom has a soaking tub and skylights.

Two of the other three bedrooms sport sliding glass doors with garden views, and the expansive pool is surrounded by a concrete terrace and drought-resistant native landscaping.

Ms. Bowen’s lovely new digs are only a few minutes (by car) from her ex’s Studio City house, so schlepping the kids back and forth between the two stunning mid-centuries — lucky kids — shouldn’t present much of a hassle. Seems like a nice, modern setup for a modern family.

Listing agents: Stephen Apelian & Johnny Schell, Coldwell Banker
Julie Bowen’s agent: Cindi Dameshek, Keller Williams

Mama always said that nobody likes a tattletale. Never have and never will. After all, there’s even a rather gory old nursery rhyme detailing what happens to blabbermouths: “tell tale tit / your tongue shall be slit / and all the dogs in town shall have a little bit…” Oh my!

But in select situations — under certain professional circumstances — being a tattletale can actually prove quite profitable. For a perfect example, take Edward Snowden, arguably the world’s most famous tattletale. (Whistleblower, as they are called professionally). The former IT analyst has built a net worth of nearly $10 million and reportedly commands a $200,000 fee per public appearance.

Mr. Snowden may be the guy with films, books, video games and songs about him, yet there are other loose-lipped whistleblowers not nearly as famous who have amassed a fortune even greater than his. Take the case of Shareef Abdou.

Back in 2008, Mr. Abdou was just an ordinary dude living an ordinary life in an ordinary Woodland Hills home. By day, he toiled as an operations manager for Countrywide Home Loans, a local mortgage banker that was absorbed by Bank of America (BofA) that year.

In 2011, however, everything changed for Mr. Abdou. That year, he filed a confidential complaint in federal court against BofA, alleging improper loan practices. The entire contents of Mr. Abdou’s filing are much too complicated to dissect on this site, but his basic premise is that appraisals were being inflated to justify loans to poor credit risks, allowing larger loans (and higher fees) to be made illegally.

Mr. Abdou’s actions caused him nearly four years of stress and cost him many of his friends and his plum Bank of America job. Plus there were countless interviews with the FBI with which to contend. But in 2014, he was ultimately vindicated when BofA agreed to pay a historic (and record-breaking) $16.65 billion settlement to the Department of Justice in a civil settlement.

Later that same year, as was reported by the Wall Street Journal, the US Government announced that Mr. Abdou and two other former BofA employees — Robert Madsen and Edward O’Donnell — would receive whistleblower payouts totaling more than $150 million. Yes, kiddies, you read that right. Mr. Abdou’s courage gave him the sort of financial security that most lottery players dream about. (For the record, Mr. Abdou’s share of that total payout was reportedly $48 million).

We aren’t sure what Mr. Abdou has been up to professionally in the past few years. But he can certainly afford to take a long hiatus from work to indulge his passions. According to his personal website, he enjoys sailing, traveling, and “everything about the financial world“.

But onto the subject at hand. A couple months ago, a luxury mini-estate out in the expensive (yet oft-overlooked) Tarzana neighborhood of Los Angeles sold for $3,560,000. That’s a rather large number for the area and given that the home has a well-established history of celebrity owners, Yolanda was naturally curious about the buyer’s identity.

The home’s fame first blossomed in June 2011, when pop star Selena Gomez paid about $2.2 million for the property. She extensively renovated and expanded the existing residence before famously selling it — in September 2014 — for $3,450,000 to Lakers basketball star Nick Young, who dwelled there with his then-girlfriend, rapper Iggy Azalea.

Upon the erstwhile couple going Splitsville in 2016, Miss Azalea moved outta the house and Mr. Young soon sold the pad (at a slight loss) to a married pair of high-powered attorneys.

After less than one year of ownership, Mr. and Mrs. Attorney flipped the property at a $310k profit — for the aforementioned $3.56 million. As y’all might have guessed by now, the buyer is Mr. Abdou. And just for the record, Mr. Abdou paid cash and did not take a mortgage from Bank of America (especially not Bank of America!) or any other lender, for that matter.

Nestled on a leafy .83-acre corner lot, the resort-style compound is completely walled and gated for privacy. Naturally (given the home’s high-profile past) the property is outfitted with a high-tech security system and cameras galore.

A black driveway gate slides open to reveal a generous motorcourt and the home’s front facade. If Yolanda is being honest here, we personally find the structure itself a wee bit ungainly. But there’s no question that the multi-columned contemporary ranch-ish thing is plenty luxurious. And the lush grounds — the backyard features sprawling lawns, mature trees, formal gardens, fountains, a free-form swimming pool, firepit, full-size sports court and more — are impressive.

A candy apple-red front door provides a much-needed pop of color and leads into the main rooms of the home. Ebonized hardwood floors and a pleasantly neutral color scheme define the residence, and nearly every room sports coffered ceilings. The living and family rooms both feature large fireplaces, and the monochromatic kitchen has bar-style seating, marble countertops, and top-of-the-line appliances.

There are 4 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms in the main house, and the master suite includes another fireplace, an all-white bathroom with soaking tub, and a sprawling closet with dedicated dressing area and acres of storage space.

Other fun at-home features are a study with private entrance and bathroom and a lounge/entertainment center with wet bar, fancy pool table and yet another fireplace. The home also features a bevy of French doors that provide easy access to various outdoor areas of the mini-estate.

We’re not sure if Mr. Abdou currently has a domestic partner or kid(s) — we believe him to be recently divorced — but if he does, we’re sure he/she/they will appreciate the three other roomy guest suites.

Tucked away above the two-car garage is a private upstairs guesthouse with one bedroom and two full bathrooms. Like the main house, this deluxe suite features ebonized hardwood floors, a spacious living area (with vaulted ceiling) and a surprisingly large kitchen with high-end appliances. The listing claims this guesthouse “[rivals] the Presidential Suite at the Four Seasons,” something Yolanda cannot confirm — we’ve never stayed in the Presidential Suite, our third ex-husband Randall was just too damn cheap. But this does look like a nice place — and look, there’s a private outdoor balcony, too.

Though he’s now a very wealthy man, our Mr. Abdou still owns his modest Woodland Hills starter house. Located in a rather unfashionable area of town — north of the 101 freeway and a few minutes from the Warner Center — records show that Mr. Abdou purchased the property way back in 2009 for just $437,000. This, of course, was when he was still working as a Bank of America manager.

The perfectly ordinary single-story abode has 3 beds and 1.75 baths in just 1,404-square-feet of living space. Just for comparison’s sake, his new Tarzana spread is nearly five times as big and cost more than eight times as much. Who said being a tattletale doesn’t pay?

Listing agent: Shawn Donohoe, Keller Williams
Shareef Abdou’s agent: Liz Friedman, The Agency

There’s a lull in LA’s high-end market action at the moment, so Yolanda thought we’d take advantage of this (temporary) quiet to experiment with something a wee bit different today. Just to keep things fresh. Y’all understand. And since the folks over at Douglas Elliman were kind enough to send us their Q3 market reports a couple weeks back, we thought a number-crunching dissection would be just the ticket.

And if you aren’t feeling this post, well, you know what to do. Keep it movin’. We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming shortly.

Lots of people are foretelling an upcoming slump for our current housing bull market — and indeed, LA prices have been on the upswing for 9+ years now, so we’re long overdue for a slide. Still, according to the Elliman report, the market is still peaking. In Q3, the median sales price in the Greater LA area (including the Westside and Downtown neighborhoods) reached an all-time record high of $1,525,000.

That figure is up 5.9% over the same period last year, but what Yolanda found more significant is that average square footage of homes purchased actually dropped by 3.2% to 2,269-square-feet. What that means, for all you dunces out there (just kidding!) is that people are paying more money for smaller houses. The buyers are voracious and the market still bloodthirsty.

So it’s clear our bull hasn’t been herded back into the corral just yet.

In Beverly Hills, the average sales price was a rather shocking $7,075,034 from 58 units, up a whopping 33.5% from last year. And in Brentwood, another new record was notched as the average sales price reached $4,580,434. Similar stories were told in Santa Monica and Century City/Westwood.

Record highs weren’t recorded in every neighborhood, however, as the average price in Malibu fell by 17.4% year over year to $4,350,362, and Pacific Palisades slid by 5.5% to $3,888,898. Yet in nearly every luxury area — regardless of whether the average sale price fell or grew — the average days on market for available homes dropped. Buyers are snapping up new listings faster than ever for (generally speaking) more money than ever.

Obviously all good things (or bad, depending how you look at it) can’t go on forever. Eventually — possibly very soon — the market will stabilize and prices will begin to fall off again. As any longtime real estate agent will tell you, the market is cyclical and always realigns itself with time.

But for now, it is clear that residential real estate sales are brisk and experiencing few — if any — symptoms of weakness. How long that will last given rising interest rates and a wobbly stock market is open for debate. Sellers with homes currently up for purchase, however, should have little to fear — provided their property is priced correctly. Good news for y’all is that buyers are still going full throttle.

And that’s also good news for realtors, money lenders, escrow officers, architects, contractors and inspectors. On and on it goes. And hey, it’s good for property gossip writer folks like Yolanda, too. Maybe we can keep the lights on for a few more weeks; get the ol’ Cadillac the oil change she deserves.

Recently our old pal Vlad the Revealer at Celebrity Address Aerial asked us who bought a fully renovated residence in the wilds of Encino. As many of y’all know, Encino is a suburban neighborhood way out in the big bad San Fernando Valley. Once upon a time — it wasn’t that many years ago, actually — almost nobody in Encino wanted to admit they were from Encino. (Think of the area as the red-headed stepchild of LA’s luxury markets). Nowadays, however, the unlikely Encino ‘hood is the hottest celebrity destination. Famous folks love the neighborhood for its family-friendly nature, its proximity to shops and restaurants, and the lack of those pesky tour buses that clog up Beverly Hills. Prices, of course, have soared.

Anyway, Yolanda’s ears perked up when Vlad mentioned the big “E” word, so we took a peek and discovered the new owner is a dude we ain’t ever heard of: Khalid Donnel Robinson. But three seconds of Googling reveals that Mr. Robinson — like Beyoncé and Omarosa, he’s known mononymously by his given name — is a very big deal in the music industry.

Though he’s barely out of his teens and first came to public recognition a mere two years ago, the R&B crooner Mr. Khalid has already established himself as a reliable hitmaker. His debut single, the mellow “Location“, was the 21st biggest hit of 2017 on the Billboard charts and has been certified 5x Platinum. The follow-up single “Young Dumb & Broke” also went Platinum, and  his song “Love Lies“ went top 10 here in 2018. Oh, and his debut album American Teen was recently certified double-Platinum here in the states.

Last year, Mr. Khalid embarked on a nationwide tour. Every single location (pardon the pun) sold out, including a massive 1,500-seat arena in his hometown of El Paso, Texas (or Hell Paso, as Yolanda’s friend Lilly — a native of the area — calls it). So congrats, Mr. Khalid. Yolanda doubts you’ll have any trouble paying for your fancy new starter home.

Speaking of money, it appears that Mr. Khalid and/or his realtor are good negotiators. Though the property was listed at $2.2 million, records show he paid just $1,875,000 for the property. That’s a hefty 15%, $325,000 discount. Under $1.9 million for a fully renovated Encino home seems like a good deal.

Built in 1952 as a modest ranch-style residence, the 2,787-square-foot structure was recently updated in a trendy and inoffensive (if slightly generic) manner. For the record, we suspect the house was originally a single-level abode and the loft-like second story was added on at a later date.

The listing calls the house a “Contemporary Mediterranean retreat“, but Yolanda sees absolutely nothing Mediterranean about this place. We do agree, however, that this casa has undergone some very extensive contemporary plastic surgery — with varying degrees of success. We aren’t crazy about the all-grey exteriors or the cliché glass garage doors, but those are easy fixes. So let’s move on.

For any fans who think it might be cute to cruise around Encino lookin’ for Mr. Khalid, just pack up and go home. His house is not visible from the street-front — it’s set down a long driveway and privately behind a large security gate and overgrown ivy hedging.

The front door opens to a open-concept living area anchored by an expensive Calacatta marble fireplace smack-dab in the middle of the room. An adjacent kitchen includes high-end stainless appliances, Caesarstone quartz countertops and plenty of bar-style seating. Vaulted ceilings and fold-away walls of glass give the room an airy feel and open to the backyard terrace. Out there is a pool, firepit, and a sloped grassy lawn. The hillside .44-acre lot has views of trees.

There are 4 bedroom (all of them en-suite) and 4.5 bathrooms in Mr. Khalid’s new home. The master suite takes up the entire second floor and includes an all-new bathroom with glassy shower, built-in soaking tub and dual vanities. Off the large bedroom is a wraparound terrace with space for outdoor R&R.

The other three bedrooms are downstairs, tucked away in a private wing of the residence. All have hardwood floors and fully renovated bathrooms. One of the bedrooms is currently being used as an office — perhaps Mr. Khalid might want to convert that into a wee soundproofed music studio?

As noted in the listing, the Encino pad isn’t just a regular home, it’s a cool “smart home” with Nest technology and Sonos indoor/outdoor speakers. We imagine those features make will make Mr. Khalid’s home a regular party location destination — if it ain’t already.

Listing agents: Andrea Best & Shukura Shimura, Nourmand & Associates
Khalid’s agent: Haili Michaels, Brixton Gate Realty

As we stare down the final weeks of 2018, the great Woodbridge sell-off continues.

Those of you who have been following this site (or real estate news in general) for some time should already be familiar with this saga: Woodbridge, the investment front for a now-defunct billion dollar Ponzi scheme, hoovered up dozens of prime LA properties over the last few years. After they were sued by the SEC, however, they went belly-up, eventually reached a settlement, and now their choicest real estate is surfacing on the market as part of ongoing bankruptcy/asset liquidation proceedings.

One of the most notable properties in the Woodbridge portfolio is a hulking mansion on a 4.5-acre Hollywood Hills promontory. Despite never having been owned by a celebrity, the house has become one of the most (in)famous in LA. That’s partly due to its very public nature — anyone down in Hollywood can see it squatting up there on yonder hill — and partly for its rather (ahem) “unique” architecture.

Anyway, the monstrosity went up for sale this June (2018) with a fat $35 million asking price.

According to public bankruptcy court documents, Woodbridge has accepted a $29,500,000 offer for the porker and the deal is done, done, done — save for final court sign-off. Should the transaction close prior to year’s end, it will rank as LA’s 18th-biggest residential sale of 2018.

The buyer, y’all may be interested to know, is a dude from Germany. He’s our very own Frank Binder.

Mr. Binder is a billionaire heir to the fortune of pharmaceutical giant Merck, which generates well over $15 billion USD in revenue every single year and has been majority family-owned since its 1668 founding, 350 years ago. The global conglomerate is now one of the world’s largest — and oldest — family-owned companies. If Mr. Binder’s name sounds vaguely familiar, it’s probably because Yolanda first introduced y’all to him a few months ago, back when he and his American fiancee Alexandra Schuck paid a shocking $33 million for The Stanley House. But we digress for now.

Before we deal with the present, let’s revisit the past.

The oddball mansion was originally constructed back in 1990, according to records, and designed by an unknown (to Yolanda) architect. Quite possibly one of the weirdest homes in LA, the structure is one of those rare things that actually looks more bizarre the further away you get from it. From the driveway out front, we’d describe it as the bastard child of a Mormon temple, the Flintstones house and an igloo. But from the air, it appears more like a squashed wedding cake.

Anywho, despite its eccentric looks, the Mount Olympus property has one of the best views in LA and therefore attracted many rich buyers. The house changed hands several times in the 1990s before it was sold — way back in 2002 — for $4.4 million to a Las Vegas-based businessman named Eddy Aslanian.

Our boy Mr. Aslanian quickly became notorious for throwing wild and (allegedly) raunchy parties at this house, the sort of benders that go on all night and involve lots of shouting, boozing, and expensive cars racing up and down the street. During his ownership, the house also sported a backyard sand volleyball court (later removed) where young men and women could frequently be spied wearing skimpy bathing costumes or even less. Gossipy neighbors say that sometimes the young people had no clothes on at all!

Good heavens! All allegedly, of course.

Years ago, we heard repeatedly that the house has also served as the location for dozens — if not hundreds — of porn video shoots, though obviously Yolanda cannot independently verify that. Could be just another urban legend. Maybe someone who has done more naughty video “research” than your gurl could enlighten us all? Or don’t, that’s fine too.

Let’s move on. In late 2013, Mr. Aslanian sold 1 Electra Court to billionaire heiress Megan Ellison for $20,000,000. (He also sold her several acres of adjacent vacant hillside land for another $10,000,000, meaning Miss Ellison actually paid $30 million for the whole shebang). We’re sure all the neighbors rejoiced to see Mr. Aslanian pack his bags and skedaddle.

Rumor has it that although Miss Ellison moved into the mansion (after a HazMat suit-wearing cleaning crew had their way with it, we hope), she always planned to eventually demolish and replace it with a residential showstopper of her own creation. But Miss Ellison is also a notoriously fickle lass — at least when it comes to real estate — and so she never followed through with her demolition plans. Instead, she flipped the unchanged house and adjacent land to Woodbridge last year (2017). Records show that the Ponzi peeps coughed up a monstrous $35,530,000 for the 9+ acre estate.

Woodbridge also planned to eventually raze the ol’ gurl, but once again she was saved from the landfill — in this case, by the timely bankruptcy filing. And while it may seem that Woodbridge is losing money on this deal with Mr. Binder — he’s paying “just” $29.5 million — that’s actually not the case. You see, Woodbridge quietly sold some of their vacant hillside land earlier this year for exactly $12 million to a developer, shrinking the estate from 9+ acres to 4 and change. So in actuality, they got a total of $41.5 million ($29,500,000 + $12,000,000) for the whole property. Good for their creditors, we suppose.

Keeping up?

Anyway, it ain’t likely that the lavish-living Mr. Binder and Miss Schuck will ever spend a night in this place — almost certainly they bought it for the land and the incredible jetliner views it affords, nothing more. And while we have no idea what they plan to build in its stead, the current listing includes plans for an uber-contemporary villa by architect Noah Walker.

In case y’all did not know, Mr. Walker is the guy responsible for one of Yolanda’s favorite houses in LA. The Oak Pass Residence, as it is known, is hidden way high up in Beverly Hills Post Office and was sold — a couple years ago — for exactly $20 million to a Chinese film producer. But we digress yet again.

The 35,000-square-foot showplace has multiple levels, two long ‘n skinny swimming pools, rooftop lawns, and acres of glass walls. If you ask Yolanda it rather looks like a military bunker transported from some faraway desert, but we doubt Mr. Binder, Miss Schuck and the architect give a hoot what we think.

And again, we have no idea if the Schuck-Binders will actually construct the giga-mansion you see in renderings above, or if they will fashion something of their own custom design.

While Miss Schuck and Mr. Binder await the completion of their new family-friendly Mount Olympus estate, they temporarily reside at their “starter” Hollywood Hills home, the sexed-up Stanley House.

The multi-level pad — which the couple bought for $33,000,000 earlier this year (in cash, naturally) features jaw-dropping views of the LA basin and the Pacific Ocean, an enormous swimming pool, and an at-home nightclub. What the property does not have, however, is much of a yard or outdoor space for kids to play. And given that Miss Schuck recently gave birth to the couple’s first child — congrats! — we can see why they were drawn to the much larger (4.5-acre) 1 Electra Court lot.

For those who haven’t kept up with their maths, Yolanda can tell y’all that Mr. Binder has now spent $62.5 million in less than one year on luxury LA real estate. Although he has never appeared on an international wealth ranking — presumably because Forbes and their ilk can’t tell which Merck family members own what — Yolanda finds it very hard to believe that Mr. Binder is not a billionaire. Particularly since these LA homes aren’t even his main residence.

For the last few years, Mr. Binder and Miss Schuck have primarily resided in Monte Carlo, Monaco, in an oceanfront villa within a guard-gated community.

Located on Avenue Princesse Grace, which has been called the world’s most expensive street, the approximately 6,000-square-foot villa contains 5 beds, 5 baths, a 5-car garage, and a perfectly circular infinity-edged swimming pool with views over the Mediterranean Sea and the Monte Carlo coastline.

The funny thing about all the couple’s recent spending in LA is that Mr. Binder — who is in his late 50s and has lived in Europe most all his life — probably wouldn’t have even bought in Los Angeles had not his young fiancee been born and raised here. But since he met Miss Schuck several years ago (while she was on a tour of Europe with her family) they’ve been living together and recently celebrated the birth of their first child, so it makes sense that they’d want a SoCal outpost near her friends and relatives.

When in LA, the Schuck-Binders typically stayed with Miss Schuck’s family at their longtime ranch compound in guard-gated Bradbury Estates, about 15 minutes (by car) east of Pasadena and deep in the San Gabriel Valley. The huge spread includes a 6,000-square-foot main house, a full-size tennis court, a pool, horse stables and an equestrian riding rink.

It is here, in Bradbury, where Miss Schuck was born and raised. Her parents (her father is a prominent LA attorney and former mayor of Bradbury) have owned their 5+ acre compound since before she was born — since 1987, in fact. Property records indicate they paid $1.7 million way back then, though the property has most assuredly appreciated by millions of dollars in the 31+ years since.

Just for giggles, we asked a couple of our real estate expert friends about what they imagine Mr. Binder is plotting for 1 Electra Court. They both opined that when a non-developer guy like Mr. Binder buys a $30 million teardown, it’s because he’s got a real severe hankerin’ to build a residential monument — an edifice that will span generations — to his wealth, power, and privilege.

And that, kiddies, is exactly what Yolanda expects Mr. Binder (and Miss Schuck) will do.

Listing agent: Tomer Fridman, Compass
Frank Binder’s agent: Darryl Wilson, Rodeo Realty

Public court documents related to the ongoing Woodbridge bankruptcy proceedings make for some fascinating late-night reading, at least if you’re a property nerd like Yolanda. We glanced at the clock and realized we just burned three hours poring over thousands of pages of legal filings. Does that make us a weirdo? No, don’t say it — we already know the answer.

We’ve already blabbed about the sale of the famous (or infamous, if you prefer) 1 Electra Court estate to German billionaire Frank Binder, but it turns out there are two other eight-figure pricetag Woodbridge properties in escrow and awaiting final court sign-off. One is a 1.19-acre vacant lot in prime lower Bel Air (listed at $32 million) and the other a ridgeline house in the high-priced Bird Streets area of the Hollywood Hills (listed at $15.5 million).

As it turns out, both properties are being sold to the same buyer. He’s a fella named Jaime Gilinski.

Born to a Jewish family in Colombia, Mr. Gilinski grew up wealthy (though not a billionaire), earned a Harvard MBA, and eventually amassed a world-class fortune through mergers and acquisitions. He and his father Isaac Gilinski now control one of Latin America’s largest banking empires.

Aside from the banking, the Gilinski family has also made their mark on the international real estate sector. Down in Panama City, he is masterminding the $10 billion Panama Pacifico business/residential redevelopment. The construction site spans 4,450 acres of land, leading Forbes to label it “the most audacious real estate project in the world.”

Interestingly, Mr. Gilinski’s partner in the Panama City development is British billionaire Ian Livingstone, a guy known to maintain a substantial LA real estate portfolio — including a mansion on the very same Bel Air street as the lot Mr. Gilinski is buying. But we digress.

Our Mr. Gilinski has long-standing business ties to billionaire George Soros. And due to Mr. Soros’s longtime political lightning rod status, Mr. Gilinski has likewise become a target of right-wing politicos. Said folks have flooded the Internet with accusations detailing Mr. Gilinski’s (alleged) ties to the Colombian mafia and drug trade. Sour grapes? You decide.

Anyway, Forbes says Mr. Gilinski is worth $3.5 billion, while the Bloomberg Billionaires Index pegs his wealth at an even higher $4.23 billion. Either way, he’s the second-richest human in his native country.

About the LA purchases — we gather from court records that both properties are contingent on the sale of the other, meaning that if Mr. Gilinski doesn’t get one, the whole deal is off. Presumably that is why Woodbridge agreed to a substantial price discount on both lots — Mr. Gilinski is paying “only” $25,100,000 for the Bel Air land and $11,000,000 for the Birds nest, or $36,100,000 for the whole shebang.

Mr. Gilinski’s total outlay is woefully less than what Woodbridge paid to acquire these properties — records indicate they originally coughed up a total of $48.2 million ($35,000,000 + $13,200,000). Pity for the bankruptcy creditors, but the huge loss shouldn’t come as any surprise. In their heyday, Woodbridge was notorious for overpaying like crazy on everything. In Yolanda’s endlessly humble opinion, $36.1 million is a very fair amount for both for both lots.

The hilltop Bel Air estate site is currently vacant, but the listing includes renderings (above) for a shopping mall-sized compound designed by BULLI Architects. The proposed contemporary compound is “fully approved” — per the listing — and includes an absolutely absurd 41,000-square-feet of living space (seriously, who needs that much house?) and a negative-edge swimming pool overlooking the LA basin.

Of note about these renderings is that the mansion looks like it’s sitting in a tropical jungle rather than arid ol’ LA. There are hanging gardens, fruit trees, and lots of fresh veggies up in there. Yum.

We profess ignorance as to whether Mr. Gilinski will build the thing you see above or whether he favors a different design. We also don’t know whether he’s buying these properties for himself/family or whether he plans to enter the increasingly crowded LA spec-mega-mansion game.

As for the other property Mr. Gilinski is buying, it’s a 0.52-acre mini-estate in the Birds Streets with panoramic views stretching to the Pacific Ocean (on a clear day, natch).

The listing here also includes plans for a sleek, chic sprawler. Drawn up by the venerated Paul McClean — LA’s go-to contemporary mega-mansion architect — the house will span approximately 15,000-square-feet of open-concept living space. Again, whether Mr. Gilinski will opt to implement these plans or conjure up a confection of his own creation is unknown to Yolanda.

We like the gym with water views and the upper-floor swimming pool. (In case anyone was curious).

Though the Hollywood Hills lot currently includes a spacious Mediterranean-esque structure with an infinity-edge swimming pool, it’s an absolute certainty that a big-time developer like Mr. Gilinski will soon put the ol’ gurl down. RIP.

Outside of his ambitious real estate and banking projects, Mr. Gilinski leads a quiet, low-profile life with his family — he and his longtime wife Raquel have four adult children, three sons and one daughter. These days Mr. Gilinski claims London as his main city of residence, but he’s also got expensive homes in New York City, Panama, and Colombia.

And over in Florida, Mr. Gilinski resides on star-studded Indian Creek Island, oft-considered the most desirable residential community in Miami and colloquially known as the city’s “Billionaires’ Bunker“.

Mr. Gilinski’s compound is arguably the most impressive on the entire guard-gated island — he’s got a multi-acre estate sprawled across four contiguous waterfront lots, one of which includes a 20,000+ square foot main house. Some of his nearest neighbors include supermodel Adriana Lima, hedge fund billionaire Edward Lampert, and Latin singer Julio Iglesias (he recently hung an unprecedented $150 million pricetag on a vacant four-parcel lot he owns there).

Listing agent: Tomer Fridman, Compass
Jaime Gilinski’s agents: Stephen Resnick & Jonathan Nash, Hilton & Hyland

Many old homes in the foothills above the world-famous Sunset Strip have a celebrity history. Of course that’s partly due to their Hollywood proximity, but also because droves of them are blessed with both privacy and stunning LA skyline views, assets famous folks usually can’t find down in the flats.

Take today’s property. Originally built way back in 1938, the Mediterranean mini-compound sits on a puny .16-acre lot just steps above hectic Sunset Boulevard. Yet it is all but invisible from the street out front, tucked away up a long (gated) driveway and behind another house. Westward views drink in the radiant sunsets, and tall hedges eliminate the neighbors and amplify the tranquil atmosphere.

And yet you’re an easy stroll from perennially chic Sunset Plaza and the bustling city of West Hollywood.

We digress. In 2006, the petite property was acquired by actress Robin Ruzan during her divorce from longtime hubby Mike Myers. Our Ms. Ruzan bounced around in her single lady shack until 2013, when she famously sold it to pop star Nick Jonas.

Very soon, apparently, young Mr. Jonas tired of his bachelor pad. He flipped it for $3,400,000 barely a year after his purchase — just a wee bit more than the $3.2 million he paid Ms. Ruzan.

The next owner was a non-famous gentleman from WeHo. Our Mr. Gentleman quickly embarked on a cosmetic overhaul of the hovel’s rather ho-hum interiors. He also totally redid the minuscule backyard, replacing the old lagoon-style pool with a far more contemporary (and sexy) infinity-edged number.

In July (2018), Mr. Gentleman successfully flipped the micro-compound for $5,175,000 in an all-cash deal. Remodel or not, that’s a huge price jump for just three years of ownership, and Yolanda was intrigued because the big-bucks buyer is listed as a mysterious and deliberately opaque entity with a Silicon Valley address. After several weeks of sleepless nights, your gurl did what any normal person would do: we dialed up our omnipotent friend U.N. Owen and begged him to tell us who bought the place.

Thankfully, Mr. Owen took pity on us and came through in the clutch. The proud new owner, he whispered, is a young woman named Sophie Schmidt.

31-year-old Miss Schmidt is the only living child of multi-billionaire Eric Schmidt, the businessman famous for serving as CEO of Google for a full decade, from 2001 until 2011. He was also Executive Chairman of Alphabet, Inc (Google’s parent company) for nearly 17 years, up until he stepped down less than one year ago.

As y’all might expect, Mr. Schmidt has been one of the richest men in Silicon Valley (and on the globe) for many years. Forbes claims he’s got a mind-bogglin’ $13.7 billion and is the 106th richest human on the globe, while the Bloomberg Billionaires Index lists his net worth at $13.1 billion. Whatever the case, homeboy is loaded.

(And for the record, we say Miss Schmidt is her father’s only “living” child because she had a sister, Alison, who sadly passed away last year “after a long illness,” according to her parents.)

As for Sophie, she’s led an enviably adventurous life for her young years. Miss Schmidt holds a bachelor’s degree from Princeton and an MBA from Stanford GSB, arguably the world’s most prestigious business school. She’s enjoyed various internships/jobs all over the globe — Myanmar, China, South Africa, New York, London and Dubai are just some of the places she’s lived — including as a consultant for Myanmar’s Richardson Center and as a Random House book editor in Manhattan.

But Miss Schmidt’s most notable career milestone (thus far) is unquestionably the 2.5 years she spent as Uber’s official spokeswoman. During this period — beginning in 2015 and ending earlier this year — the media frequently called upon her to issue statements about this, that, and everything else. And given Uber’s extremely high-profile, volatile nature — is that firm ever not in some sort of turmoil? — Miss Schmidt was a very busy lass dealing with all the shenanigans up in that bitch.

We ain’t sure what Miss Schmidt has been up to since her Uber departure, but her LinkedIn profile now lists her occupation as “Writer”. Perhaps she’s out selling screenplays to Hollywood, or maybe she’s elbow-deep into her first Nora Roberts-style romance novel. Who knows? Not Yolanda.

Oh, speaking of writing, Miss Schmidt first attracted extensive media attention way back in 2013 after she published an impressively detailed blog recouping her recent visit to North Korea. The blog post — which is still live, btw — contains dozens of photographs and richly descriptive stories. It’s really quite impressive and offers a rare window into the notoriously cloistered country. And it’s more in-depth than even Yolanda’s endless ramblings! Naturally, the blog went viral and that was that.

FYI, Miss Schmidt is quite the funny lady — her famous post is titled “It might not get weirder than this” and includes pithy takeaways such as “[North Korea is] like the Truman show, on a country level,” “[Kim Jong Un] has a degree from the bullshit Kensington University,” and “Only with connectivity [does North Korea have] a snowball’s chance in hell of keeping up with the 21st century.” She also described her luxury lodgings as a “bizarre mix of marble grandeur and what passed for chic … in the 1970s,” filled with “tacky fake floral arrangements” and “gaudy light fixtures“.

Zing! Teach Yolanda your snarky ways, Miss Schmidt. But first, the house.

For y’all Kool-aid drinkers who still don’t believe our real estate is a wee bit overpriced, check this out. Not only does $5.2 million not buy you a mansion, this place has no garage at all. Miss Schmidt must wedge her Range Rover (or whatever luxury vehicle she drives) into a carport that looks barely wide enough to accommodate a Prius.

Oh well, at least the carport is secured behind tall security gates and protected by a high-end security system with cameras & etc. Naturally.

The carport sits directly beneath a microscopic guesthouse with a kitchenette and full bathroom. From the guesthouse, a wooden staircase leads down to a stone pathway that gradually slopes up to the main residence. For those rare rainy LA days, let’s pray Miss Schmidt remembers to pack an umbrella in her car — otherwise she’ll have to make a mad dash from her vehicle all the way to the front door.

Then again, Miss Schmidt braved North Korea in winter. What’s a little SoCal drizzle?

The home’s front door has an eye-catching tile surround, which Yolanda thinks might be original to the property. However, there are few other old-school relics within the 3,300-square-foot structure — the whole place was massaged into a clean-lined contemporary. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

To the left of the entryway is a fireplace-equipped living room with French doors leading to the backyard. To the right is a step-down family room, and straight ahead is the sunny formal dining room with clear sightlines over the LA basin below.

As for the kitchen, it lies just off the family room and flaunts high-end appliances, including a beautifully boozy wine cooler. The entire house is outfitted with new hardwood floors, and we appreciate how the staged artworks in each room provide them with much-needed pops of color.

All three of the main house’s bedrooms are upstairs. That includes the massive master suite — it takes up about half the second floor — with its fireplace, sitting area, walk-in closet and thoroughly modernized bath. Across the hall, two guest bedrooms share a single full bathroom.

One of the guest bedrooms is outfitted as a study, so this casa is only a 2-bed situation at the moment.

Yolanda is not trying to offend, but we must say this is perhaps the dinkiest backyard we’ve ever seen at this price point. Still, if you don’t need a giant amount of outdoor space with your $5.2 million house, this might be just the ticket. There’s a lovely infinity-edged pool and a view to make up for it, though that cement pond is likely too small for serious swimming.

Anyway, the seller did a good job at maximizing the precious little land available. Around the home’s north side is an outdoor BBQ station and over by the front door is an outdoor table suitable for al fresco dining.

Yolanda believes this is Miss Schmidt’s first-ever home purchase — congrats, missy. Prior to this, when she wasn’t living overseas, the lass bunked up in her father’s Atherton (CA) residence.

Like most folks at his near-limitless wealth level, Papa Schmidt maintains an extensive portfolio of lavish residences — both on land, at sea, and in the air. In addition to his Atherton home, he’s got a Gulfstream V jet, a superyacht christened Gladiator, a $15 million New York City penthouse, a waterfront villa in Miami, and a Nantucket mansion primarily occupied by his estranged wife Wendy Schmidt.

In 2007, Mr. Schmidt paid Ellen DeGeneres exactly $20 million for a stunning George Washington Smith-designed in the posh seaside community of Montecito (CA).

Reality TV junkies may recognize Mr. Schmidt’s Montecito home as the location for celebrity supernova Kim Kardashian’s 2011 nuptials to some unfortunate bloke whose name Yolanda has utterly forgotten. Before the ink on the marriage certificate was even dry, Kimmy was off to get the big D — divorce, that is.

Poor Mr. Schmidt had a very difficult time renting out his mansion following the Kardashian katastrophe, reportedly because rich folks believed the estate was now “cursed“. Oh, brother.

But we digress. Mr. Schmidt also has a large estate in the Holmby Hills neighborhood of LA. Records show he paid the estate of Veronique Passani — she’s the late widow of legendary actor Gregory Peck — $22,000,000 for the spread in 2014. The house has been extensively remodeled in the four years since.

Mr. Schmidt’s LA pad is located on what is arguably the most exclusive street in the city. Some of his nearest neighbors include major ballers like Diddy, Facebook’s Sean Parker, Petra Ecclestone, Daren Metropolous, Sir Ridley Scott and Mr. Chow.

Listing agent: Richard Klug, Sotheby’s International Realty

Today we’re issuing an upfront mea culpa. We know some folks follow our blog primarily for the house pictures and merely skim the text. And that’s perfectly fine, but today we haven’t a single photo to share. Not even a Google Maps screengrab, since today’s house is so new it ain’t even finished yet. This deal was totally off-market and Yolanda has upended the entire Internet looking for just one measly pic. But no luck. So, we’re sorry. Hope y’all understand.

But if you’re still triggered, feel free to drop us an angry message via the hotline. It’s Friday and Yolanda really doesn’t give a f***.

Anyway, Travis VanderZanden, the entrepreneurial CEO/founder of Bird, has a new home on LA’s Westside. For those uninitiated, Bird (here’s their official website) is an electric scooter-sharing service. Download the app, find a scooter, unlock it and zoom away. If you live in Santa Monica — or in most any major US city, really — you’ve probably seen “Birds” littering every sidewalk and streetcorner. The LA-based startup recently became the fastest to ever reach a $1 billion “unicorn” valuation.

We’ll return to Mr. VanderZanden and his innovative startup in a moment. First, let’s discuss his new digs as best we can — absent any pictures with which to play. Womp womp.

Records show Mr. VanderZanden used a blind trust to quietly pay $8,100,000 — every penny of it in cash — for a brand-new mansion. The deal went down in September (2018) and the property is located on a lovely and leafy street in eastern Santa Monica, just a quick skip away from the ever-popular Brentwood Country Mart, one of our favorite dining destinations in LA. Next time we’re at the Mart, remind us to swing by and snap an iPhone pic of the VanderZandens’ new homestead for y’all.

Yolanda has yet to view Mr. VanderZanden’s new house in person, but word on the street says it’s big and white and Traditional in style. And it’s got a very conventional two-car garage, apparently. We hope the VanderZandens fill said garage with Birds and not cars. Walk (scoot?) the walk!

Our research indicates the 0.2-acre lot (a typical size for this area) was long host to a remarkably unremarkable two-story house (above). The property was owned for nearly 50 years by a non-famous family and sold — for the very first time — in 2015. The local developer buyer paid $3,225,000 and quickly scrapped the existing residence to make way for something much bigger and grander.

Speaking of size, we’re not sure how large the new VanderZanden manse is. But it’s big. And we gather it looks vaguely similar to Tina Trahan‘s old Santa Monica mansion a few doors away. Given that Ms. Trahan’s $7.1 million home clocked in with 7,756-square-feet of living space, Yolanda suspects Mr. VanderZanden’s $8.1 million abode may be even larger.

For some reason, nobody can (or will) tell Yolanda which architect designed the VanderZanden structure. If you know, let us know so we can gift him/her proper credit. At the moment, the house is still unfinished — the family is putting some custom touches on it.

While they await completion of their big-ass casa, the VanderZandens are leasing a spacious unit within 1410 SM, a luxury Santa Monica apartment building near the famed Third Street Promenade outdoor mall. No word on how much they pay for their temporary digs, but rents in this building usually run between $3,500-$6,000 per month.

Mr. VanderZanden has worked in a startup environment for his entire career, beginning shortly after he earned his MBA from USC’s Marshall School of Business. In 2011, he co-founded car wash app Cherry, which was acquired by Lyft two years later. Lyft anointed Mr. VanderZanden as their new COO, though he left the company a year later.

Alas, our boy and Lyft did not part ways amicably. Lyft was furious at Mr. VanderZanden for (allegedly) breaching their confidentiality agreement. They also accused him of stealing non-public company documents and “proprietary information” just prior to his departure and making use of them in his new VP position at arch-rival Uber. A lawsuit ensued, though Lyft and Mr. VanderZanden eventually reached a confidential settlement out of court.

For the record, Mr. VanderZanden has always maintained his innocence, though we’d guess he still paid a hefty chunk of change to make the suit go away. But who knows, right?

After two years at Uber, Mr. VanderZanden departed the firm in September 2016. Almost exactly one year later, he founded Bird.

Since September 2017, Mr. VanderZanden has proven extraordinarily successful at raising enormous amounts of Silicon Valley capital. Investments in his babyfaced startup have topped an unprecedented $400 million in just four months, and the company — whose scooters are touted as an environmentally-friendly transportation option — is now valued at a reported $2 billion. That’s insane, kiddies.

Just to give you an idea of how much money Mr. VanderZanden has made, this July (2018) he sold some of his Bird shares for a whopping $44 million (or something close to that). And while Yolanda has no idea what this dude’s total net worth may be, it is almost certainly well into the hundreds of millions by now.

Not bad for a year’s work.

Of course, it hasn’t been all fun and games. Like Lyft and Uber before them, Bird has encountered opposition from many of the municipalities it has attempted to enter. Naysayers deride the scooters as nuisances. Users often abandon their rides on sidewalks or in roadways, creating potential hazards and just generally making things look janky.

Still, Mr. VanderZanden’s attempt at world domination shows no sign of a slowdown. Yet.

On the personal front, 39-year-old Mr. VanderZanden and his lovely wife Samantha have two young daughters. Prior to their LA move last year, the couple resided in the Bay Area town of Tiburon.

In addition to the former home of Ms. Trahan (which was recently sold to a non-famous family), some of the couple’s nearest Santa Monica neighbors include prominent religion critic Sam Harris, comedic actress Bonnie Hunt, and LA Times VP Penn Jones, who owns the large mansion right next door.

Over the past few weeks, we’ve received a handful of reader requests to discuss damages incurred by the devastating Woolsey Fire. Now that the blaze is fully contained and we’ve had an opportunity to assess the situation, the time is right for a quick chat.

Some folks might label us callous for choosing to discuss mansions owned by billionaires instead of focusing on the fate of poor Northern California evacuees, like those forced to live in tents during the rain and cold. We can’t imagine that and do have sympathy for everyone who lost homes and possessions. But this is a blog dealing with high-end real estate, so we’re gonna stay in our lane today. Capiche?

The fire impacted Thousand Oaks and Calabasas, among other neighboring cities. But it was particularly devastating to the seaside community of Malibu, where up to 450 homes were leveled and the landscape — particularly in the once-scenic mountains and canyons — has been radically altered. Y’all already know about the celebrity homes destroyed, including Liam Hemsworth’s Ramirez Canyon estate, Gerard Butler’s Point Dume compound, Neil Young’s ranch, and Camille Grammer’s Ramirez Mesa pad.

One of the more architecturally notable properties to bite the proverbial dust was Frank Gehry’s Tin House, owned by Texas oil billionaire / gossip column regular Sid Bass.

Mr. Bass bought the home for $15 million from actor Patrick Dempsey and proceeded to spend another $4 million on the more modest ranch next door, which was also lost to the flames.

Woolsey burned erratically and randomly. While the Bass estate is no more, other large properties in the line of fire somehow survived. The $16 million La Vie en Rose manor, recently purchased by auto dealership mogul Todd Blue, is intact. Yet the grounds are mostly gone.

The most valuable Malibu property affected by the fire, however, was unquestionably the under-construction compound of Laurene Powell, the philanthropic widow of Steve Jobs. Our Ms. Powell paid more than $60 million for the Paradise Cove property in two separate transactions — the first in 2014 — and has since spent millions more to upgrade and renovate every inch of the multi-acre estate.

Another wealthy person impacted by the blaze was video gamer Jon Burton, who lives two doors away from Ms. Powell. Our Mr. Burton originally hails from jolly ol’ England, but he’s lived in Malibu since 2012, ever since he and the missus paid a frightening $36.5 million — in cash — for a rather spectacular compound on Paradise Cove. (Y’all may balk at the price of Mr. Burton’s house, but Yolanda is of the opinion he got a great deal and the property has actually doubled in value since his purchase).

But anywho, Mr. Burton keeps a popular YouTube vlog that we follow. Last week, he posted a video account of his own experience with the fire, which is quite dramatic and shows y’all just how close it came to swallowing his home whole. To summarize: after evacuating with his wife and sons, Mr. Burton returned to Malibu (via boat), swam ashore, arrived to a blaze on his property, and proceeded to spend the entire day defending his home with a garden hose. All while barefoot. (Ouch. Sounds painful!)

Thanks to Mr. Burton and his neighbor’s valiant efforts, Mr. Burton’s mansion was saved. Ms. Powell, however, was not so fortunate. At timestamps 3:30 and 4:40 in Mr. Burton’s video, y’all can see her property (at one point, it appears Mr. Burton is actually standing on her land). And the place looks totally, completely, absolutely scorched.

We aren’t certain if Ms. Powell’s main mansion survived — based on vague intel, we think it may only have partially burnt — but much of the construction site was utterly destroyed. Whether she will begin anew or abandon the project entirely remains to be seen.

Obviously Ms. Powell, Mr. Burton, and Mr. Bass don’t have to worry about pesky little people problems like money or lodging. So we understand it might be difficult to have much sympathy for them.

But mull over this: back in 2014, when Ms. Powell purchased her Malibu compound, your gurl heard through the grapevine that she specifically wanted a home on Paradise Cove — she didn’t even bother looking at any of the other wealthy neighborhoods around town, like Carbon Beach or The Colony. And like we say, she’s since spent the last 4+ years working to build a custom “dream” estate, much of which was decimated by the blaze. So while the money ain’t an issue, Woolsey did rob her of the dream — at least temporarily — and time. Possibly years of time.

And really, isn’t that the most valuable commodity of all?

Ready for this one? Fasten them safety belts.

Although the sale has not yet officially recorded in public records, Yolanda has now heard from three different little birdies that there’s a monstrous and very hush-hush deal going down in the mountains above Beverly Hills, in an area known as Beverly Hills Post Office (BHPO).

The property involved is a wildly uber-contemporary compound. Spec-built in 2016 by a developer named John Saca, the manse was hoisted onto the market with an arrhythmia-inducing $48 million asking price. The following year — March 2017, to be exact — the estate was sold for a discounted $38,500,000 to Scottish billionaire Sir Tom Hunter. Truth be told, Yolanda ain’t sure if Sir Tom ever actually moved into the residence, as the house was quickly made available for lease at an are-you-kidding-me rate of $450,000/month before being yanked off the market.

Anyway, Birdie #1 — let’s call her Laurel N. Hardy — chirped that the house is about to be resold to “one of those Walmart people“. Birdie #2, Ollie Oxenfree, squawked that the deal is already done-done-done and the buyer is Walmart heiress Paige Laurie. And Birdie #3, Marco Polo, confirmed the buyer is Ms. Laurie and blabbed that the deal secretly closed “a few days ago“.

Since the transaction has not yet made it into records, Yolanda does not know exactly how much Ms. Laurie is paying for her outrageous new compound. But Mr. Polo told us the house went for “over $40 million“. And our Mr. Oxenfree whispered “low 40s“. So there y’all have it. We shall wait and see.

Y’all, this is a very big deal. Should the alleged $40+ million purchase price prove correct, it will not only be the most ever paid for a house in the so-called Crest Streets — a desirable section of BHPO — our research indicates it will also rank as the most ever paid for a house in all of BHPO. It’s bigger than any transaction ever recorded in ultra-exclusive Beverly Park, in fact.

36-year-old Ms. Laurie is a grand-niece of Sam Walton, founder of the whole Walmart shebang. She’s also the granddaughter of his business partner (and younger brother) Bud Walton, and the only child of Bud’s younger daughter Nancy Walton Laurie. With Walmart stock currently at a near-record high, Forbes says Mrs. Walton Laurie’s net worth has soared to lofty new levels  — $5.7 billion, to be exact.

Moreover, it’s also long been held that the Waltons are the wealthiest family in all the world. Their unfathomable collective fortune, y’all, is conservatively estimated at somewhere between $150 billion and $175 billion. And yes, that’s billion with a capital “B”. They’re richer than Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, the Koch brothers. Everyone on the planet.

As for Paige, she is best-known for owning Malibu’s Trancas Country Market. She purchased the quaint outfit in 2011 — when she was just a 29-year-old lass — and has since spent many millions to transform it into a major upscale shopping/dining destination for the seaside town. (In case y’all were wondering: Trancas was not damaged in the recent Woolsey Fire, though the flames did come close).

On the personal front, Ms. Laurie was born and raised in Columbia, Missouri, but she has primarily resided in Los Angeles since her 2004 graduation from USC. (Ms. Laurie would later return her USC diploma to the school, but that’s ancient history).

In 2008, Ms. Laurie got hitched in a lavish ceremony to local Missouri boy Bo Dubbert, her high school sweetheart. During their marriage, the couple resided in a contemporary Bird Streets residence. More on that place a bit later.

Unfortunately, the dream marriage eventually morphed into a nightmare. After six years of wedded bliss, the couple were acrimoniously divorced in 2014 amid public accusations of cheatin’ and stealin’. To be specific, Mr. Dubbert claimed his wifey had a steamy affair. Our Ms. Laurie, no shrinking violet, called Mr. Dubbert’s accusations “baseless and pathetic” and alleged that he underhandedly siphoned huge sums of money out of her Malibu retail operation.

Although the couple had no children and Mr. Dubbert signed a very detailed prenup, he viciously fought for spousal support of nearly $250,000 per month (!!!). As TMZ eloquently put it, “[Paige’s] Hubby Won’t Settle For Top Ramen“. Indeed.

We hope Ms. Laurie tossed Bo a Gelson’s giftcard. A guy’s gotta eat! But let’s move on from that ugliness.

The extravagant structure — it’s sometimes described as a “modern barn”, but it’s really a glassy contemporary — is completely walled and gated for privacy and security. Set on a generous 1.03-acre (mostly) flat lot, the complex is centered around a 210-foot, boomerang-shaped infinity pool. (It’s basically like two “regular” pools in one). A huge grassy lawn provides ample space for hosting an outdoor charity luncheon, playing with the dogs, a quick polo match (?), etc.

Total living square footage here is somewhere around 15,000 — spread between the 4-bed main house and the 2-bed guesthouse. We’re not sure why a single, child-free lady like Ms. Laurie needs (or wants) so much space. But if you got it, flaunt it. Right?

The sprawling manor goes for all the wows with an open floorpan laced with marble, exotic hardwoods, and walls of glass. A main living area has two giant double-sided fireplaces that effectively separate the formal living area from the dining and library sections. A chic kitchen has every high-end appliance known to mankind and plenty of bar-style seating for casual dining.

The sumptuous 2,200-square-foot master suite — that’s bigger than many American homes, FYI — includes a bedroom with sitting area, a starkly minimalist bathroom with soaking tub and party-sized shower. Walls of glass flood the place with light and overlook a large swath of the LA basin.

There’s a 22-seat theater, a humongous wine closet, and a separate “entertainment pavilion”, whatever that is. Oh, and somewhere there’s also an 850-square-foot home art gallery. At the time of Sir Tom’s purchase, the gallery was stocked with name-brand contemporary art by Picasso, Warhol and Damien Hirst, all available for purchase separately from the home. (No word on whether Sir Tom actually bought any of the works, however).

Anyway, it’s not particularly surprising that Ms. Laurie would be in the mood for a new residence. After all, she still resides in her once-happy marital home over in the Bird Streets. It’s high time she rid herself of that bad ju-ju and began afresh with a new swingin’ single lady pad.

Records show that way back in 2007 — when she was a wee lass of 25 — Ms. Laurie paid a very grown-up $10,800,000 for the contemporary casa of Spiderman actor Tobey Maguire. She then spent a whole ton of moolah on renovations before moving into the pad, where she has remained ensconced ever since. One of our informants told us that Ms. Laurie has been looking for a residential upgrade “for years” but didn’t find the perfect home until she finally viewed the Sir Tom estate.

Ms. Laurie’s “starter” house has an infinity-edged pool, 4,704-square-feet of living space, and is situated on the primo “front row” of the neighborhood — a ridgeline named for the unobstructed, jetliner views of the LA basin it provides.

Yolanda fully expects that Ms. Laurie will soon sell her Birds nest, which happens to be right next door to a $31.5 million teardown/development site owned by French billionaire Bernard Arnault. But we digress.

Meanwhile, Ms. Laurie’s parents — Bill and Nancy Walton Laurie — currently reside on one of East Gate Bel Air‘s largest compounds. The ever-expanding estate currently includes more than 9 acres of land spread across no fewer than 12 contiguous parcels. And we think the property may be worth something close to $100 million at this point.

Just for giggles, Mrs. Walton Laurie was famously involved in a nasty feud with her next-door neighbor, controversial developer Mohamed Hadid. Back in 2015, she sued him, furiously alleging that his construction cut off the water supply to her “cherished eucalyptus tree” and demanded $90,000 in damages. Must’ve been one nice tree! (RIP).

Sir Tom Hunter’s agent: Denise Moreno, Hilton & Hyland
Paige Laurie’s agent: Michael Collins, Coldwell Banker