Family-friendly yet outrageously expensive Brentwood Park continues to prove itself as one of LA’s most coveted neighborhoods. Though the high-end market is soft at the moment, prices in that wee pocket are on an infinite upswing, or so it would seem.

Take today’s home. Spec-built in 2010 by developer Paul Morrow and designed by accomplished architect Stephen Giannetti, the “New England Traditional” was sold that same year for exactly $11 million. The buyer was British magician Andrew O’Connor, perhaps best-known for creating the cult favorite English sitcom Peep Show.

In early 2015, Mr. O’Connor resold the property for a hefty $13,177,000 to Brian Robbins, the current president of Nickelodeon. Mr. Robbins and his (second) wife Tracy quickly settled into their posh pad.

But although Mr. Robbins enjoyed his luxurious new 90049 digs, he was royally peeved by the notoriously traffic-clogged Brentwood streets. As our boy complained to the Hollywood Reporter, the morning commute from his home to the Hollywood’s Paramount Studios takes “45 [minutes] on a good day“.

So our Mr. Robbins rectified this untenable situation as only rich folks can do — by quickly bouncin’ into a big ol’ beast out east, over in tony Hancock Park. Daily commute? 10 minutes. On a bad day.

A few months back, Mr. Robbins unloaded his Brentwood Park home for a fat $15,450,000. The buyers, Yolanda discovered, are a British man named Phil Harvey and his longtime wife Yasmin.

Though perhaps not a household name, Mr. Harvey is indeed famous for his affiliation with the band Coldplay, whom he single-handedly managed from 1998-2001 and with whom he remains very much entwined. As a boy, one of Mr. Harvey’s classmates (and closest friends) was Chris Martin.

Though the scholarly Mr. Harvey matriculated to Oxford University — where he majored in classical studies — he eventually dropped out to manage Coldplay full-time, a move that would prove wise and inordinately lucrative. Although the band eventually grew too big for his managerial abilities, Mr. Harvey remains their creative director and the group has officially ordained him their “fifth member“.

The media (and Coldplay themselves) occasionally describe Mr. Harvey with adjectives like “mysterious” and “elusive” because of his propensity to decline nearly all media interviews or appear in public with the band. Even many Coldplay fans aren’t aware of his existence. “I just prefer it this way,” is all Mr. Harvey will say on that subject.

How rich is Mr. Harvey? While Yolanda does not know his exact net worth, homeboy is loaded. Coldplay is one of the most successful bands of all time — they’ve reportedly raked in the better part of a billion bucks over the past 20 years, including $115 million in 2018 alone. So while a $15 million Brentwood Park mansion purchase may be unfathomable to most folks, it’s just the equivalent of another supermarket run for Mr. Harvey. That’s how the superrich roll, kids.

Charmingly half-obscured behind a tall hedge and framed by majestic sycamore trees, the 11,324-square-foot “Gerard Colcord-inspired” mansion is accessed through an arched entry arbor. The clapboard-clad walls contain 6 bedrooms and a total of 7.75 bathrooms.

Nifty interior features include a two-story paneled library and an entertainment lounge with a fireplace, shiny ceiling and lavish wet bar. More traditional spaces include a family room — outfitted with a second (smaller) wet bar — and a living room with fireplace and bookshelves.

The roomy kitchen is well-suited for casual dining with its bar-style seating. And check out that massive glass SubZero (?) fridge — that thing probably costs more than a new Corolla!

There are both indoor and al fresco dining rooms plus an outdoor family room w/ fireplace for wintry nights.

The master suite has a sitting area and fireplace in the bedroom, while the bathroom has a soaking tub and huge porthole window. A private balcony overlooks the lush backyard.

Mr. Robbins has a toddler-age daughter, so there’s a bedroom and a playroom done up in a fanciful decoratin’ scheme. Elsewhere in the elevator-equipped abode are more adult features — a lounge/games/second family room and a wine cellar.

The nearly half-acre flat lot has an amply expansive backyard. Recreational options include a children’s playlet, broad stone terraces for sunbathin’, and a pool with inset spa. At the estate’s far end is a two-story guesthouse with a bedroom suite.

In case anyone is worried about the Harveys being blindsided by area traffic — as was Mr. Robbins before them — don’t be. The couple are not new to the Westside. Since (at least) 2014, they’ve lived in Brentwood, albeit in a slightly less fashionable part of town.

Records reveal the couple paid $5,975,000 for the brand-new Traditional in early 2014. The stately spread has 5 beds and 5.5 baths in nearly 6,000-square-feet of living space — plus a wood-paneled wine cellar and library.

Although the Brentwood starter home is not currently listed for sale, Yolanda expects it to become available very soon. Have the dough and like what you see? The Harveys would love to hear from you.

Listing agent: David Offer, Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices
Phil Harvey’s agent: Susan Perryman, Hilton & Hyland

As we’ve previously discussed on several (many) occasions, Ellen DeGeneres has apparently made it her life’s mission to keep real estate agents in the black — and to own every fancy property from San Pedro to Santa Barbara. You see, our Ms. DeGeneres has an unrequited, well-documented, bonafide real estate obsession. It’s true. Yolanda knows nobody — famous or not — who changes their address more frequently than this lady. By our tally, she bought and/or sold seven different properties in 2018 alone.

Well, at least she’s got good taste. Though we’re not even a full month into 2019, Ms. DeGeneres (and her longtime wife Portia de Rossi) are not resting on their luxury real estate laurels. Records confirm that the couple have just paid a whopping $27,000,000 for a Balinese-influenced bauble tucked into the hills at the far eastern end of tony Montecito.

Despite the big sale price, it appears as though Ms. DeGeneres actually got a deal here — depending on how one looks at it. The property was originally listed for $40 million a year ago before being price-chopped down to its final ask: an even-steven $35 million.

Built in 2011, the structure was custom-designed for a woman from Seattle named Marsha Stroum Glazer. Our Mrs. Glazer — her father was the late entrepreneur Sam Stroum, her sister a former US Ambassador under President Obama — and her husband Jay are renowned art patrons, frequently ranked among the world’s top 200 collectors (according to ARTnews).

Mrs. Glazer made big headlines back in 2005, when she loaned a portion of her “priceless” collection — with pieces by name-brand artists like Picasso, Roy Lichtenstein, Jasper Johns, David Hockney and Jackson Pollock — to UCSB for temporary display. The university had to implement stringent new security precautions — armed guards, video cameras, elaborate motion detection systems — just to accommodate Mrs. Glazer’s mind-blowing haul. But we digress.

The 8.24-acre property is wondrously private, the house tucked behind a long, winding driveway and invisible from the street out front. On first approach, the structure appears to have a mini-pagoda retro sorta-theme, but that notion is quickly dispelled by the entryway: the glassy walls reveal the home’s innards — clearly, this is a contemporary with traditional East Asian accents, not the other way ’round.

Contained within these walls are 5 bedrooms, 10 bathrooms, and a mansion-sized 8,188-square-feet of living space. The place appears to have been designed on a limitless budget — which it probably was — with numerous exotic features like bamboo ceilings, flamed black limestone, and distressed oak floors.

The enormous great room contains disappearing walls of glass — on the southern side — to allow easy access to the veranda, with its firepit and al fresco dining area. Below that are acres of expansive lawn and gardens, with skyline views framing the Pacific Ocean.

And yes, this property is a true compound — in addition to the main residence, there’s a guesthouse with two en-suite bedrooms and a kitchen, a detached office, plus a private cabana tucked away by the pool and complete with gym and changing facilities.

Speaking of the pool, it’s a one-of-a-kind basalt pebble infinity number that looks to be a real engineering marvel — just gaze at it thrusting out over the deep blue sea. Wow! Ms. DeGeneres, if you ever need a house-sitter, please give us a ring.

Naturally the entire property is verdantly landscaped with formal gardens and exotic tropical plantings. According to the listing, also included on the estate is a second parcel — “an attached lot” — that offers a “perfect” building site. Perhaps Ms. DeGeneres will construct a spec-mansion there. Or potentially expand the current estate with yet another ancillary structure.

Ms. DeGeneres is a longtime fan of Santa Barbara County, and her new $27 million compound happens to be almost directly directly across the street from another property she owns — a far more modest equestrian ranch that she bought last year (2018) for $6,700,000.

And just down the hill from those two estates is the lady’s third Santa Barbara-area home — an $18.6 million contemporary showpiece set right on the Carpinteria sand.

In addition to those residences up north, Ms. DeGeneres and Ms. de Rossi also keep an in-town LA home, a $15 million mid-century modern residence deep within the 90210’s coveted Trousdale Estates enclave.

Originally built in 1962 by celebrated architect John Elgin Woolf, the single story Beverly Hills casa was revamped in 2017 by noted design firm Marmol Radziner. 

2018 was a banner year for Ms. DeGeneres’s real estate ventures — she sold another Montecito spread for $34 million to Netflix bigwig Ted Sarandos and got $35 million cash from billionaire divorcee Sue Gross in Beverly Hills.

Let’s see if she can top those big deals in 2019, shall we?

Listing agents: Ivor Miskulin & Suzanne Perkins, Compass
Ellen DeGeneres’s agent: Suzanne Perkins, Compass

Over the past few months, Yolanda has noticed a sluggish trend in LA’s real estate market, particularly in the ultra high-end sector — homes worth $10 million and up. Inventory ain’t the problem. Seems like there’s a new $50 million listing every other day! Still, it feels as though an invisible spigot has been corked into our proverbial tap of buyers, reducing sales volume to a trickle.

Then again, this could easily be our imagination. We certainly haven’t done any sort of market research to verify that feeling with hardcore facts.

But luckily, we didn’t have to do our own research on that part. The nice folks over at the Douglas Elliman brokerage recently provided lazy Yolanda with a copy of their Q4 market reports, sporting analysis helpfully prepared by Miller Samuel appraisers. And we thought a brief discussion of the overall findings might interest our readers.

The overarching report summarizes LA’s Q4 results as follows: “Overall price trends moved higher as sales slipped and inventory expanded.” Not that we’re looking for a prize (or a cookie), but that description certainly jibes with Yolanda’s casual observations.

For single-family homes in LA’s luxurious Westside neighborhoods — defined in the report as including Beverly Hills, Brentwood, the Palisades, Malibu, WeHo, Santa Monica and Bel Air — sales dropped sharply, down 19.3% from Q3 and 6.5% year-over-year to 659. Yet prices continued to edge up in, topping a lofty $3.5 million. That overall trend — sales down, prices up — repeated itself in the market’s upper 10%, with the average sales price soaring to nearly $12.6 million but units sold slumping to just 66 for the quarter.

Part of that sales decline can be explained away by Malibu’s Woolsey Fire, which destroyed hundreds of homes in the city and decimated their Q4, with sales down nearly 50% and 20% quarter-over-quarter and year-over-year, respectively. But even in most markets unaffected by the fire — Beverly Hills, Brentwood, Santa Monica — transaction volume was way off.

Though some real estate agents may scoff, Yolanda believes we may have finally crested the peak, people. And if inventory continues to expand and sales remain stagnant or slip further — as we suspect they will — prices will undoubtedly begin to edge downward. Sellers will enter the desperation mode. But we’re not yet in that stage, of course.

Overall, the Elliman report findings aren’t particularly surprising. The real estate market is cyclical and has been on a prolonged, record-breaking nine year upswing. Things just can’t go up forever. But whether the market will merely flatten or nosedive — ala 2008/2009 — is a matter of conjecture at this point. And that’s our 2.5-cent opinion on the matter.

When he’s not launching rockets or digging underground tunnels or “frivolously” gallivanting on his private jet or smoking green with Joe Rogan, Elon Musk is busy expanding his Bel Air real estate empire.

Yolanda has written about ol’ Musky’s property purchases on multiple prior occasions — the last time was more than two years ago, when he dropped $24+ million on his fifth area home. More on that a bit later.

Mr. Musk likely needs no introduction to most readers, but y’all may not know that he is widely believed to be LA’s richest full-time resident by a mile. Both Forbes and Bloomberg peg his net worth at well north of $20 billion, so he’s clearly got the cash to indulge a real estate fetish.

The multi-faceted entrepreneur, now 47, co-founded PayPal and serves as CEO of much-publicized SpaceX. But he’s likely most famous for his Tesla electric car company — many gearheads have placed him on a Steve Jobs-like pedestal for spearheading the quixotic auto firm’s rise into a juggernaut that has left competitors scrambling.

Truthfully, Tesla’s cult-like following has always made Yolanda a bit wary — we’ll steer clear of the Kool-Aid and stick to our ordinary gas-propelled vehicle for now, thankyouverymuch. Ol’ Musky kinda gives us John DeLorean vibes. But Yolanda’s mother has the Tesla SUV and swears on her MADD bumper sticker that “it really is all that!!!” (Mmhmm, sure — whatever you say, ma’am.)

But we digress — let’s peep the real estate. Records reveal that Mr. Musk has just used a mysteriously-named LLC to pay $6,400,000 for yet another Bel Air home.

Mr. Musk’s latest acquisition was never publicly listed for sale, so unfortunately we don’t have any professional pictures to share. But we do know that the stately (if rather unmemorable) existing house was built in 1964 and has long been owned by a non-famous woman.

We’re not sure when Ms. Non-famous acquired the .85-acre hillside spread, but it was not within the last 30 years. And y’all can be certain that she paid a tiny fraction of the $6.4 million she just received from Mr. Musk — the property’s last assessed value was a mere $310,000! Ka-ching.

Good for Ms. Non-famous, we suppose.

The two-story home has a roomy (but not massive) 3,943-square-feet of living space with 4 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms. There’s a paneled library, a kidney-shaped pool with eastward views of the city lights and Downtown LA skyline, and a spacious front yard with grassy lawn shaded by mature magnolia trees. Kinda looks like a place you might stumble across in rural Alabama or Virginia, not smoggy LA.

So what’s Mr. Musk planning to do with this place? Good question! He hasn’t yet returned Yolanda’s texts, so we cannot say for certain. But with a net worth of $20+ billion, does the guy really need a reason to buy his neighbor’s home? And for the records, it’s right next door and directly across the street from two other properties he owns.

This is not Mr. Musk’s first, second or third Bel Air property. It’s his sixth! And they’re all located on the same hillside. Take a gander at the Google Maps screen grab and the prices he’s paid for all six.

1. $17,000,000 in 2012
2. $6,750,000 in 2013
3. $4,300,000 in 2015
4. $20,000,000 in 2015
5. $24,250,000 in 2016
6. $6,400,000 in 2019

Altogether, Mr. Musk has spent nearly $80 million on 90077 real estate in less than seven years.

House #1 (above) is Mr. Musk’s longtime main residence. It’s also (easily) the largest home of the six, with more than 20,000-square-feet of interior living space.

House #2 was purchased for use as a Musk-founded private school — it’s where private teachers tutor his five young sons. House #4 is believed to be occupied by his second (and third) ex-wife, actress Talulah Riley — to whom he was married from 2010-2012 and again from 2013-2016.

As for homes #3, #5 and the just-acquired #6, we’re not sure why Mr. Musk needs or wants those. But we wonder if the unfinished #5 — it’s a very large contemporary mansion (above) — might’ve been acquired for his stylish mother Maye Musk, a famous model and dietician. We shall see.

In addition to those six Bel Air estates, Mr. Musk’s also got a seventh multi-million dollar LA pad — this one a cozy contemporary located in the hills above Brentwood’s Mandeville Canyon neighborhood. Records show that Mr. Musk paid $3,695,000 for the premises in 2014.

This property was reportedly purchased for Talulah Riley following one of her (temporary) separations from Mr. Musk. Upon their 2015 reconciliation, however, Ms. Riley moved back to Bel Air. And unfortunately, Yolanda has no clue who currently occupies the Brentwood home.

Yolanda didn’t intend to embark on an Elon Musk storytime rampage today, but sometimes these things just happen. (P.S. — we’re also working to improve the gallery images/slideshow issue.)

Mere hours ago, we discussed Mr. Musk — the founder/co-founder of PayPal, SpaceX, Tesla and the Boring Company — and his latest ride on the residential real estate rodeo. Homeboy clearly loves his Bel Air neighborhood, as his compound out there keeps growing — up to six homes now. Round and round it goes, where it stops nobody knows.

In addition to all the fancy Bel Air real estate, Mr. Musk also owns at least one other LA home — this one a renovated mid-century in the Brentwood hills high above bucolic Mandeville Canyon. Records show he paid $3,695,000 cash in August 2014 to acquire the property.

Although the Brentwood house is not publicly MLS-listed, one of Yolanda’s helpful commenters pointed your gurl to online marketing materials featuring the property — which is clearly available as a not-so-quiet pocket listing. Yolanda would bet the house will soon pop onto the open market — there’s already a slick promo video for it floatin’ around the YouTube.

So the rumors go, the house was reportedly purchased for his second (and third) ex-wife, British actress Talulah Riley. The couple — who were married from 2010-2012 and again from 2013-2016 — separated in 2014 and Ms. Riley settled here, out on the Westside. But within a year, the lady had reconciled with ol’ Musky and moved back to Bel Air.

Although the couple split for good in 2016, Ms. Riley never returned to Brentwood — she got a $20 million “divorce house” in Bel Air, courtesy of Mr. Musk.

We’re not sure who’s been living on the Brentwood premises since 2015 — another commenter snitched that the property has been vacant for years, ever since Ms. Riley moved out.

Hmmm. If that’s the case, why did it take Mr. Musk so long to put the house up for sale? We dunno, but Yolanda likes to imagine he simply forgot about he owned this place. Hey, the guy’s worth $20+ billion! It could’ve happened.

But anyway, a peek at the kitchen makes Yolanda suspect someone is actually shackin’ up here — there’s a six-pack of Corona in the glassy wine fridge. And oh my, do we spy a bottle of Two-Buck Chuck? Classy!

There are 4 beds and 3.5 baths in approximately 3,000-square-feet of glassy living space. Originally built in 1959, the fully-renovated home has a sleek kitchen with high-end SubZero and Wolf appliances. Wide-plank European ash hardwood graces the floors.

The hilltop home also sports views that — on a clear, non-hazy day — stretch from the Downtown LA skyline to the Pacific Ocean, Palos Verdes Peninsula and Catalina Island.

An attached garage has room for two Teslas, and the bi-winged, stealth jet-shaped house is centered around a backyard with a large pool, spa and BBQ. Though the .28-acre corner lot isn’t particularly big, it is desirably private and ringed by a tall hedge and mature palm trees.

As y’all might expect for an Elon Musk-owned property, this is also a snazzy “Smart Home” — the window shades, lights, sound and surveillance cameras can all be operated remotely, from the convenience of an iPad. Yes, even if you’re halfway around the globe.

For all these amenities (and more), Mr. Musk requests a $4,499,000 check.

So if you’ve got a few million to spare and are shopping for a mid-century or contemporary crib on LA’s Westside — or maybe you’re a realtor and are helping a client sniff around — we highly recommend giving this place a look. And we’re certain Mr. Musk (and his agents) would love to hear from you.

Listing agents: Andrew Buss & David Kramer, Hilton & Hyland

Late last year (2018), as was widely reported, Jennifer Garner and her (second) ex-husband Ben Affleck sold their longtime Pacific Palisades compound to Adam Levine for a fat $32 million.

Mr. Affleck already has a new Palisades mansion — more on that in a minute — but Yolanda idly wondered where Ms. Garner might be moving. Would she remain ensconced within the confines of her familiar neighborhood or perhaps explore uncharted LA territory?

Well, it seems Ms. Garner is indeed a Westside lady through-and-through. Records show that the mom-of-three just plunked down $7,900,000 for a house in the coveted Brentwood Park neighborhood, not far from another home she bought prior to her 2004 nuptials to Mr. Affleck.

Unfortunately, since the property was never listed on the MLS — and has not been publicly for sale in decades, in fact — Yolanda does not have any professional photos to share. And public information about the house itself is scant indeed.

But here’s what we know: the unassuming structure was built in 1930 and sports 4 beds/3 baths in 3,245-square-feet of living space — downright puny by celebrity standards. The 0.4-acre mini-estate was owned for nearly 50 years by one Robert Drabkin, a WWII veteran who passed away in late 2017.

In May 2018, Mr. Drabkin’s heirs sold the modest Brentwood property for $7,500,000. The all-cash, off-market buyer was a woman from Dallas named Charlene Marsh — a member of one of Texas’s wealthiest (and most prominent) oil families.

For whatever reason, our southern belle Ms. Marsh never moved into the Brentwood house and only owned it for eight months. This January (2019), she quietly flipped it to Ms. Garner for the aforementioned $7.9 million, or a $400,000 profit before taxes, closing costs and realtor fees.

And in case any nosy Westside readers want an up-close look at Ms. Garner’s new spread, don’t even think about it. The humble abode is completely invisible from the streetfront — tucked securely behind walls, tall hedges and mature sycamore and pine trees.

Though nobody will call it cheap, this property is certainly a downsize from Ms. Garner’s prior home — the $32 million compound on the Palisades Riviera where she resided for nearly a decade.

As for Mr. Affleck, last April (2018), he paid exactly $19 million for a brand-new mansion on the swanky Palisades Riviera — just a few blocks away from the marital home he previously shared with Ms. Garner.

So obviously Mr. Affleck’s new place is much bigger and fancier than his ex-wife’s. But in case you’re worried that Ms. Garner was left destitute by the divorce — heh — don’t be. The lady is loaded from her own money. In addition to her blockbuster movie roles, she starred on the hit TV show Alias, which went into syndication and brought her boatloads of dough.

And at the very least, Yolanda imagines she’ll give her new Brentwood Park casa a makeover.

Jen Garner’s agent: David Offer, Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices

This story is by special request from a longtime reader. Let’s call him Mike because, well, that’s his name.

If anyone here religiously follows high-end LA real estate listings, you’ve probably stumbled across today’s uber-contemporary house at least a couple times. The property was for sale (off and on) for nearly seven years, beginning way back in April 2012. At one point, the pricetag was a ridiculous $19 million.

Custom-built in 2007 by a man named Jerry Preston, the unique pad is located in the scary expensive Bird Streets, a neighborhood high above LA’s iconic Sunset Strip generally considered to be the most desirable section of the Hollywood Hills.

After years on the market, several realtor changes and numerous pricechops — and one renter who paid $50,000/month to lease the premises — the property was listed with a new high-end real estate team last year and finally sold this January for exactly $10 million in cash.

We’ll get to the buyer momentarily, but first let’s chat more about the home’s history. Even if y’all do not follow LA real estate, this property may look familiar — the eye-catching architecture has garnered it various media appearances. Most famously, the house was featured in the mega-hit video game Grand Theft Auto V — yes, those crafty GTAV creators actually included an (almost) exact replica of this place in their virtual city. Pretty cool.

Although the swoopy mansion doesn’t yet have an IMDB page, it also nabbed a starring role in 2014’s hit comedy Horrible Bosses 2, where it posed as the home of professional jerk Rex Hanson (portrayed by actor Chris Pine). If y’all didn’t catch the house on film, here’s a YouTube video of it.

WARNING: (The YouTube clip is rather offensive and definitely unsuitable for young children and ancient old fogies — AKA Yolanda — alike. Watch at your own peril. And make sure you’re wearing big gurl panties.)

Anywho, the $10 million cash buyer is a German dude named Moritz Thiele. Our Mr. Thiele founded Finanzcheck.de, a Hamburg-based FinTech company/website mainly known as an online comparison portal for consumer loans. Think of the site as Google Shopping but for price-checking lending rates.

Finanzcheck was founded in either 2010 or 2012 — depending on where one looks online — and in less than a decade, Mr. Thiele bootstrapped the business into a majorly successful online price comparison portal that now employs 267 people. And in July 2017, all that work paid off when the site was acquired by German conglomerate Scout24. The 285 million euro sales price is approximately equivalent to $325 million USD at today’s conversion rates.

So our boy can afford just about any house he wants. And though he remains Finanzcheck’s CEO, 37-year-old Mr. Thiele is apparently unmarried and wants a fancy LA bachelor pad. So that’s what he bought.

Some sourpuss naysayers may decry the cacophonic architecture here — there’s wood accents mixed with glass, metal and stucco. Plus the multiple layers of walls — some crisp and jarring, others curvy and wildly undulating. It’s quite a dramatic appearance, that’s for certain.

The single-story structure sits on a half-acre lot and has 5,749-square-feet of living space with 4 beds and 4 baths. As y’all might expect, there’s a full security system with cameras, alarms and the like.

Just within the custom-made from door is a sunken living room with a fireplace and high ceilings. An open family room area lies adjacent to a wet bar and a rather austere kitchen with bar-style seating and fancy stainless appliances. Somewhere there’s a wine cellar/room bigger than some studio apartments.

Disappearing walls of glass allow the relaxed indoor/outdoor lifestyle for which SoCal is so famous. A rectangular infinity pool overlooks the shimmering LA skyline — “some of the best jetliner views in the city,” boasts the listing.

Yolanda will not speculate on why this place took so many years to sell — maybe the prior owners were just too greedy, we dunno. We’ll leave that discussion to the real estate experts and our (very) opinionated readers. Care to sound off in the comments? Don’t be shy.

Mr. Thiele’s new house is located on a cul-de-sac near the tippy-top of the Birds, in a neighborhood pocket known as Doheny Estates. Although there ain’t any big “celebrities” on this particular street, homeboy does have lots of near-billionaire businesspeople as neighbors — folks like tech entrepreneur Ted Waitt, baller British heir Ashley Tabor, hedge funder Steve Wisch, British CEO Dr. Greg Bailey, Mexican investor Mauricio Oberfeld and Canadian entrepreneur Sam Magid.

Listing agents: The Altman Brothers, Douglas Elliman
Moritz Thiele’s agent: Amy Black, Redfin

Over the past week, Yolanda has received no fewer than four curious reader inquiries about one or both of two giant LA compounds that have just popped up for sale with heavy-duty pricetags: one asking $30 million and the other listed at a coma-inducing $72 million. Ouch!

Both mega-estates are located in the Coldwater Canyon area of a neighborhood known as Beverly Hills Post Office (BHPO), where all the homes have the coveted 90210 zip code (thus, most residents write their address as “Beverly Hills, CA 90210”). However, it’s important to note that BHPO properties are technically part of Los Angeles (the city) rather than Beverly Hills proper. That difference, of course, means BHPO residents must make do with LA city services — streets, trash, utilities, police, etc — rather than the generally more desirable offerings received by Beverly Hills residents.

Confused yet? But anyway, we digress. As it turns out — much to Yolanda’s surprise — both extravagant compounds are owned by the same couple: Steve Dunn and his ex-wife Laura Dunn, who were married for 30+ years but are now divorced.

Mrs. Dunn was born and bred in the Chicago area and we think Mr. Dunn originally hails from Texas, but the pair have primarily resided in LA since the early 1990s. It is here, in Van Nuys, where Mr. Dunn’s Munchkin, Inc. business is headquartered. Munchkin makes products for infants and toddlers — think baby bottles, pacifiers, bath toys and the like — and generates hundreds of millions in annual revenue.

As for Mrs. Dunn, she is a former model and actress who now operates the lifestyle blogs Fabulous365 and LauraDunnLuxury.com, where she shows y’all how to live a properly luxurious lifestyle. We checked out Mrs. Dunn’s latest blog post, which is about a $3,500+ Moncler puffer cape that her Barney’s New York specialist acquired for her. (Kids, you know you’ve made it in life when you’ve got a Barney’s specialist on hand to drop thousands on a collectible puffer coat that you’ll rarely wear.)

The Dunns have two adult children, including their daughter Beau Dunn — a young lady notable in her own right as a visual artist, with clients like the Kardashians, Claudia Schiffer, Lily Collins and David Arquette. In fact, Kylie Jenner recently hired Miss Dunn to do up her own glam room real fancy-like. But we digress.

So let’s take a quick peek at the divorced Dunns’ two giant estates, each of which span more than 10 acres of land — yes, that’s enormous for LA — and include multiple structures. We begin with the more expensive one, asking $72,000,000.

Per records, the Dunns purchased this three-parcel property in July 2011 for $11,200,000 and claim (via the Wall Street Journal) to have spent an additional $30 million renovating the main house and adding myriad other site improvements. The Tuscan-style estate boasts multiple structures that combined total approximately 21,000-square-feet of living space, including a 17,000-square-foot main mansion. Within those walls are a humongous ballroom and “stunning sculptural and antique elements, gorgeous materials, refined finishes“. All told, there are 8 beds and 11.5 baths on the premises.

Other impressive features of the decidedly maximalist property include two swimming pools and a reflecting/wading pool, pool house and cabana, two sports courts, gardens, a private golf course and off-street parking for 40+ vehicles.

The hillside compound abuts open land — with long views over unspoiled Franklin Canyon — and has essentially no neighbors, ideal for a billionaire to whom privacy is paramount.

If parts of this property look vaguely familiar, it’s probably because the house was leased to the American Idol producers some years ago, before the Dunns acquired it. The main house was (briefly) occupied by the AI contestants, who famously claimed it was haunted. Among the (alleged) spooky sights witnessed were a spider invasion, flickering lights and a bedsheet floating down the hallway.

Imagine that! You’re walking the hallways at your $72 million home and a gosh-darn bedsheet has the audacity to float on by! Why, that’s just rude.

Anyway, we’re sure the Dunns exterminated the ghosts — friendly or not — during their renovation. As for the decor, it verges on the luridly decadent, though obviously the style is a matter of personal taste. Yolanda knows plenty of rich folks who would love the look of this place.

There is, however, one major quibble that we must make about this spread. Although the property is exceedingly private, the location — right at the intersection of Coldwater Canyon and Mulholland Drives — is one of the busiest in all of 90210. Yolanda has driven past this estate hundreds — maybe even thousands — of times and things are nearly always at a standstill. For $72 million, we wouldn’t want the everyday hassle of waiting for a break in traffic before pulling outta the damn driveway.

But that’s just Yolanda, and we certainly don’t have $72 million to spend on a home.

As for the Dunns’ other 90210 property, which they’ve owned since the early 1990s, it is no less expansive. But the decor is rather rustic-chic and significantly less opulent than the $72 million estate, which is just 1.4 miles up the road.

Known as the James Cagney estate, the enviably private property has two gated access points: one on Coldwater Canyon and the other set off a wee side street. There are five detached structures on the 10+ acre, two parcel compound — including a petite abode adjacent to the estate’s main entrance that serves as a “perfect guard house“, per the listing.

Other features include off street parking for at least 20 vehicles, two swimming pools, a fully-lit tennis court, and “endless” outdoor spaces — pavilions, gardens and grassy lawn space galore.

So who is in the market for a $30+ million 90210 mega-compound? We dunno! Minimalism seems to be the new trend at the high-end — most rich folks (even those with $30 or $72 million to spend on a property) aren’t looking for absurdly high-maintenance 10+ acre estates with multiple structures and pools. But maybe Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez need a new lovenest? Give ’em a ring.

And it’s worth noting, y’all, that there are a whole squadron of Saudi princes and princesses who reside in the BHPO area, and nearly all of them employ private security teams with bodyguards and such. Perhaps one (or both) of these properties will appeal to them? We shall see.

Listing agents ($30 million estate): The Altman Brothers, Douglas Elliman
Listing agents: ($72 million estate): Joyce Rey, Stephen Apelian, & Timothy Di Prizito, Coldwell Banker; The Altman Brothers, Douglas Elliman

For decades, Pacific Palisades has been considered one of LA’s most desirable neighborhoods. The nature-filled Westside community features countless scenic hikes, ocean breezes, lavish estates and beautiful Will Rogers State Park. And let’s not forget its close proximity to Malibu and Santa Monica.

Many people hear “Palisades” and imagine the real estate is well beyond their financial reach. But that’s simply not true — even monetary mortals can afford a fancy home in the nabe (er, so long as you’re a regular folk who has banked a few million). Yes, kids, you really can find brand-new Palisades luxury homes for less than 5 million smackers! For now, at least.

Take today’s property. Last sold for $2,441,500, the existing home was quickly demolished to make way for what y’all might term a “contemporary Traditional” new build. Developed by JJP Construction and Shelter Homes LA — these are the same folks who did up a $6 million Studio City pad recently purchased by DJ Alesso — the new residence swiftly sold for $4,425,000. That’s $30k more than the asking price but still a relative bargain by Pac Pal standards.

The new owner is a blind trust front for Tom Wellington, a bigshot talent agent at William Morris Endeavor (WME). 40-year-old Mr. Wellington has been at Endeavor for well over a decade, and he’s long specialized in repping TV writers. His clients include Jonah Nolan and Matt Nix — just to name a couple.

In 2013, Mr. Wellington scored a big promotion — he’s now listed as a WME Partner, which basically means he’s way more important now. And the paychecks are much fatter, of course.

Naturally Yolanda has no idea what Mr. Wellington rakes in on an annual basis. Nor do we have an inkling about his approximate net worth. But a recent report estimates that talent agency partners command $400,000 to $700,000 per year. And given that Endeavor is generally considered LA’s most prominent talent agency, we expect Mr. Wellington’s earnings are on the higher end of that range.

On the personal front, Mr. Wellington originally hails from Washington DC. He is married and has a young daughter, so it ain’t a big surprise that the growing Wellington clan has purchased bigger, more family-friendly new digs. Let’s take a look.

The 4,000-square-foot structure has a two-tone grey/honey-colored wood facade that flaunts a vague “modern barn” vibe, the kinda style thing ever so trendy these days.

A paltry 0.15-acre lot size definitely won’t win any size awards, but it’s typical for the tightly-packed Bluffs region of the Palisades. Because the property is long and narrow, the house Is likewise, well, long and narrow — a good thing if you fancy lengthy hallways and such.

The front door opens directly into the living room, which opens to the formal dining area. Beyond that, a herringbone-patterned hallway leads past the staircase and a glassy wine closet to the chic kitchen. Yolanda rather loves the black-and-white color scheme and gold accents, so sue us.

Conveniently adjacent to the kitchen is the fireplace-equipped family room, which opens via Fleetwood pocket doors to an al fresco dining area on the terrace.

The spacious (but not humongous) home sports 5 beds and 5.5 baths. The master goes for a neutral color scheme and impresses with its private balcony overlooking the backyard, its bathroom with dual vanities and soaking tub, and a large walk-in closet.

If Yolanda is allowed to make one complaint, let it be this: for almost 4.5 million bucks, we want a damn swimming pool. Mr. Wellington’s new backyard has no cement pond (and not much space to install one, either) which would be a deal-breaker in our book.

But if y’all can live without the pool and content yourself with a firepit and grassy lawn — as the Wellingtons obviously can — more power to ya. And hey, the beach is only a five-minute drive away.

This luxurious new home is conveniently situated just two blocks south of Sunset Boulevard and a mere half-mile from the trendy (and revitalized) downtown Palisades Village, with its plethora of shopping and dining options. While there don’t appear to be any big celebs on Mr. Wellington’s new street, the property is only a quick jog away from both veteran actor Anthony Hopkins’ new $6.6 million mansion and pro chef Giada de Laurentiis’s fancy $6.9 million spread.

Listing agent: Dennis Chernov, Keller Williams
Tom Wellington’s agent: Marie Peterson, Coldwell Banker

The high-end real estate market is fairly quiet at the moment, so Yolanda rummaged around to find an older (but still interesting) transaction to discuss. As it happens, we have one that’s been sitting in our vault for nigh on six months now. We’re not sure why we kept skipping it over — it’s a good story — but sometimes these things just happen.

The transfer involves a mansion located on “arguably one of the best most desired streets in all of Brentwood,” per the listing. And indeed, this is a highly coveted avenue — located just south of the posh Brentwood Park area, and right across the border from Santa Monica. The pricey (but worth it) Brentwood Country Mart is an easy stroll from this property.

Built in 2010 by an Iranian man named Norm Pezeshki — he’s the owner of local burger joint Norm’s Famous Charbroiled Hamburgers — the Spanish-style home boasts a hefty 8,700-square-feet of living space with 6 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms. Set on a flat .45-acre lot, the structure itself is mostly obscured from the streetfront by a row of graceful evergreen trees.

In April (2018), Mr. Pezeshki listed the house with a $10.5 million pricetag, which is a big number for this particular part of town. But potential buyers flocked to the property and it quickly sold for a fat $11,211,000. Yes, kids, that’s $711,000 more than Mr. Pezeshki was asking. Good for him, we suppose.

So obviously there was a fierce bidding war here, and Yolanda was curious about the winning bidder’s identity. Well, records reveal he is a Mexican man named Emilio Diez Barroso.

43-year-old Mr. Diez happens to be a member of one of Mexico’s wealthiest families — the billionaire Azcárraga clan, which controls the country’s Televisa TV network. Televisa is the main television broadcaster in Mexico — it’s been a near-monopoly for decades, actually — and is the largest producer and broadcaster of Spanish language media in the entire world.

Mr. Diez is a great-grandson of Televisa founder Emilio Azcárraga Vidaurreta and a nephew of the enigmatic late billionaire Emilio Azcarraga Milmo.

Due to his heritage, our boy Mr. Diez does not need to work for a living. But he keeps busy by running NALA Investments, a private family office created to manage his family wealth and holdings. NALA has investment stakes in a wide range of industries — energy, transportation, real estate and tech among them. Mr. Diez also heads up NALA’s media arm, which has produced an array of movies and TV episodes.

One of Mr. Diez’s productions was The Bling Ring, a depressingly fluffy film based on the exploits of a real-life teenage gang that burglarized celebrity homes. But we digress.

The double-gated estate includes a brick motorcourt and two-car garage. Guests permitted entrance to the abode will be impressed by the grand foyer, with its sweeping staircase, soaring ceiling and glass dome. The neutral color scheme contrasts elegantly with the deep brown hardwoods elsewhere.

There are expansive dining, living and family rooms, the latter two of which include fireplaces. The kitchen has beige stone floors, fancy stainless appliances and an island with bar-style seating for casual dining. Somewhere there’s a 700-bottle wine cellar for all you naughty lushes.

Also on the main floor are two bedrooms ideal for guests or staff.

Upstairs are four family bedrooms, all of them en-suite. The master has his-and-hers walk-in closets, a sumptuous bath with steam shower and a private balcony.

The lush backyard is undeniably expansive with its football field-sized lawn. Other recreational amenities include a pool, spa, pool house and cabana. There’s also a covered lounge with outdoor fireplace and a loggia for al fresco dining.

Before moving to Brentwood, Mr. Diez bunked up way out west, out in a mildly charming Hamptons-style home located in prime Santa Monica. This, y’all, was his once-happy marital home — a place shared with his now ex-wife Claudia Flores.

Mr. Diez put the Santa Monica property up for last year (2018) with a $4.299 million prictag. Lucky for him, the casa sold in just one month for $4,587,000 — or nearly $300k more than he was asking! The buyers, records show, were a couple from Missouri named Otto & Stella Maly. (Our Mr. Maly is a real estate developer, the right-hand man of mega-billionaire Stan Kroenke, owner of the LA Rams.)

Mr. Diez also has documented ties to a large mansion located way high up in the Beverly Hills Post Office area, on the same street as the homes of billionaire heiress Alexa Dell and Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane. But it is Yolanda’s understanding that this particular 90210 property is actually owned not by Mr. Diez but rather by Mercedes Escobar, a Mexican woman who is either his aunt, cousin or some other sort of familial relation. So there you have it.

Listing agents: Santiago Arana & Griffin Riddle, The Agency
Emilio Diez Barroso’s agent: Veronica Klein, Pacific Union

Yesterday The Real Deal broke the news that major LA socialite Alexandra Dwek quietly sold her sumptuous East Gate Bel Air compound for $40 million — $39,865,000, to be precise — in a top-secret off-market deal. Well, sacré bleu! Spank Yolanda’s fanny! That’s way more than double what she paid for the property less than eight years ago. Such sums ought to be illegal — they’re just indecent!

Just kidding. We’ll calm down now.

For those who aren’t a member of LA’s upper-crust society, y’all may have never heard of Mrs. Dwek. But in her ladies-who-lunch circle she is a very big deal — one of the city’s most visible philanthropists, in fact. She has hosted scores of charity luncheons and galas at her Bel Air estate — the type of events where you will absolutely not find any Real Housewives in attendance. But you will encounter many ladies of the Wallis Annenberg and Betsy Bloomingdale (may she RIP) ilk.

Records show that Mrs. Dwek paid “just” $16,600,000 for the property in May 2011, back when the world was still emerging from a global economic recession. The sellers were Full House actress Lori Loughlin and her fashion designer husband Mossimo Giannulli.

The 1942 Georgian estate includes a two-story main house, a detached garage with staff/guest quarters, and a separate pool house. According to records, those three structures total 10,000-square-feet of living space with 6 beds and 7 baths.

During their nine years of ownership, the Loughlin-Gianullis hired Obama’s White House decorator Michael S. Smith to do up the interiors in his trademark style, which some might call “elegant Traditional”. Below are some old MLS photos from 2011, back when Mrs. Dwek picked up the spread.

Because the most recent deal was totally off-market, we’re not sure what exact alterations Mrs. Dwek has made since her purchase. But overall, we believe she has (wisely) changed nothing major.

How’d Mrs. Dwek become so wealthy? Well, she has long been married to a stupendously affluent but low-profile CEO named Joe Dwek. For some reason, Mr. Dwek appears to be a rather reclusive fella — we couldn’t find a single photo of him online, while there are hundreds featuring his lovely wife. All we know about this gent is that he’s elderly — in his 80s, apparently. And he’s extremely rich.

The Dweks have an adult daughter named Cairo Dwek, a budding model and and Instagram “influencer” who is semi-famous for dating Liam Payne of One Direction. But we digress. Back to the real estate.

The $40 million Bel Air buyer, Yolanda discovered, is none other than H. Ross Perot Jr., the billionaire Texas businessman and only son of Ross Perot Sr., best-known for his (in)famous and unsuccessful 1992 and 1996 Presidential campaigns.

Junior Perot has long been married to Sarah Fullinwider Perot, with whom he shares four children. Our Mrs. Perot, in case y’all didn’t know, also comes from big Texas money — she’s the daughter of oil tycoon Jerry Fullinwider.

And as it turns out, the Perots are former neighbors of Mrs. Dwek — they used to own an estate almost directly across the street, in a rather lovely 1930s Spanish-style compound.

Records show that the Perots paid exactly $18 million for their first Bel Air property in 2013. Four years later (May 2017) they flipped the spread for a whopping $33,900,000 to Hollywood legend George Lucas.

But anyway. Whatever you think of the Georgian architecture or the fairly stuffy (and high-nosed) East Gate Bel Air area, the Perots’ new estate is an indisputably beautiful property — the entire 1.43 acres of land is exquisitely manicured — sprawling lawns, sculpted hedges, graceful trees. And there’s a full-size tennis court, too.

So where will Mrs. Dwek take her $40 million check? We’re not sure! Presumably she and her phantom hubby are already on the hunt for a new property. And the couple seem rooted in LA, so we imagine they’ll soon bunk up in another stately spread somewhere in the Platinum Triangle.

The gloomy winter weather currently plaguing LA has got Yolanda staring out our window, dreamily pining for a getaway to some sizzling locale. We don’t only want sun — we want hellfire-level heat, dammit! And what better place to burn up than in arid Palm Springs, just east of town? So we scanned the local real estate listings to find something interesting for y’all.

Lo and behold, something interesting does indeed lurk in Palm Springs’ historic Old Las Palmas district, long a celebrity-favored nabe. A couple weeks ago, a mid-century house there quietly sold (off-market) for $9,000,000. Wow! Looks like somebody else has fire on the brain.

We realize some of y’all are jaded to the point that $9 million for a home sounds like peanuts. Yolanda is partially to blame for that. Yes, many of our stories feature properties costing $30M and up. But trust your gurl when we assure you that this is a very big number for downtown Palm Springs. And it’s still a lot of money in general, of course.

See kids, most folks with $9 million to spend on a desert vacation home don’t buy in Palm Springs. Rather, they choose to live in exclusive guard-gated country club communities located elsewhere in Palm Desert. The Vintage Club in Indian Wells, for example. Residents there include several billionaires — Bill Gates, Bill Gross, Dennis Washington and Mercedes-Benz heiress Ingrid Flick. And then there’s La Quinta‘s Madison Club, which boasts legions of big-name homeowners: Sylvester Stallone, Irving Azoff and Kris Jenner. Just to name a few.

In fact, this $9 million represents the second-fattest price ever paid for a Palm Springs house, behind only the record-breaking $13 million spent for the iconic Bob Hope estate. But that place is far larger and way more (in)famous than this one, so it really ain’t a valid comparison.

A wee history on this property, which isn’t particularly well-known — even among area locals. Known as Villa Serena, the tennis court estate was built for Golden Age actor Laurence Harvey, famous for Room at the Top (1959), The Alamo (1960), and The Manchurian Candidate (1962). Although never exactly an A-lister, Mr. Harvey apparently had enough dough to hire architecture firm Buff & Hensman to design his main house in Beverly Hills (now owned by Ryan Seacrest, who bought it from Ellen DeGeneres, but we digress). He liked that place so much that he commissioned the same folks to build his desert vacation spread, completed in 1969 — just four years before his death.

In 2013, the property was sold for just over $3 million to fashion designer Rea Laccone. Here’s a peek at how it looked at the time of her purchase. The house, incidentally, is located just a quick skip away from the renowned Dinah Shore estate, now owned by Leo DiCaprio.

Ms. Laccone redid all the landscaping and commissioned the acclaimed designers at Marmol Radziner to redecorate the home’s interiors, though she does not appear to have altered much — if anything — about the actual house. A wise decision, Yolanda thinks. The mid-century casa sits on a 1.35-acre lot.

Architectural Digest featured Ms. Laccone’s spruced up home in their November 2017 issue.

The newly sophisticated interiors are undeniably luxurious without being flashy. Each of the 5,935-square-foot abode’s six bedrooms feature walls of glass, and the boxy, tri-winged spread centers around a pool and courtyard area.

And for more photos of the redone property, see below or visit its profile page on the Marmol Radziner website, where it’s been labeled the Harvey House.

Anywho. By now you’re probably wondering who the $9 million buyer is, and records generously blab that he’s a Beverly Hills-based businessman named Brian D. Stevens.

Now in his mid-60s, our Mr. Stevens is CEO of ConferenceDirect, a “leading planner of global meeting solutions” he co-founded in 1998. Headquartered in West Hollywood, the firm has more than 400 associates worldwide.

Back in LA, Mr. Stevens’ primary residence is a big ol’ mansion located in a particularly posh pocket of Beverly Hills, north of Sunset Boulevard. Custom-built for Burt Slatkin — who once owned the legendary Beverly Hills Hotel — the 1996 structure sports more than 8,500-square-feet of living space.

Records show that Mr. Stevens forked out $9,550,000 for the Neo-Palladian sprawler in 2013 and has since given the property a thorough makeover. The .94-acre mini-estate sits on a quiet cul-de-sac and some of the nearest neighbors include Harbor Freight Tools CEO Eric Smidt, race car driver Juan Barazi, LiveStyle CEO Randy Phillips and acclaimed interior designer Waldo Fernandez.

So there y’all have it. $9 million in Palm Springs, and for a place that ain’t even one of the area’s (many) iconic estates. Is desert real estate back in a major way, or is this just an anomaly? Let time do the tellin’.

Poor Steven A. Cohen. The near-mythic Wall Street tycoon — on whom the Showtime series Billions was loosely based — has lost many a tear over his palatial penthouse in Midtown Manhattan. What’s the problem, you ask? He just can’t get the damn thing sold, that’s what.

The saga begins nearly six years ago, back in April 2013. It was then that Mr. Cohen first hoisted his mansion-in-the-sky (at 9,000-square-feet, it’s actually bigger than most suburban McMansions) onto the market with a scathing $115 million pricetag. The duplex unit, which spans the entire 51st and 52nd floors of the One Beacon Court skyscraper, was fully renovated and customized for Mr. Cohen by the late, great architect Charles Gwathmey.

Back in 2013, the NY trophy apartment was sizzlin’ hot. Penthouses were going like hotcakes, price records being broken all over the city. But unfortunately for our boy Mr. Cohen, his modernist abode languished — unloved, untouched and decidedly unsold.

For y’all who may not know, Mr. Cohen is one of the top 5 richest hedge fund managers in all the world, according to Forbes. In fact, in 2013 alone Mr. Cohen raked in 2.3 billion bucks. That means he earned $6.3 million dollars per day — and nearly $263,000 an hour — for one full year! Feeling poor yet?

Anyway, our point is that a $115 million apartment, pricey as it is, probably shouldn’t be more dear to Mr. Cohen than a regular person’s favorite sweatshirt. But not so! Mr. Cohen apparently cares a lot about his apartment — so much so that he was reportedly “furious“ and “freaking out” about the lack of a buyer. A snitchy snitch snitched to the New York Post that Mr. Cohen blamed his real estate agent — a high-profile lady who does a ton of business out in NYC — for failing to sell the property.

And so began the steep descent. In 2014, the pricetag tumbled to $98 million. Still no buyer. More slippage to $82 million. Nope. Any luck at $79 million? Nada. Press reports alleged the place might be “jinxed”.

During the past six years, Mr. Cohen has changed brokers numerous times. And last month, with his proverbial tail between his legs, he hired a new team of agents to relist the spread with a rather shocking $45 million ask. Yes kids, that’s $70 million less than what he wanted six years ago. Ouch!

The current pricetag also represents barely any profit for the spendy Mr. Cohen, who paid $24 million for the property way back in 2005 and allegedly spent another $18 million (or so) on his custom renovations, for a total outlay of $42 million.

Like most Gwathmey-designed homes, the interiors of this place will likely be an acquired taste to most folks. While definitely austere and not quite homey, the place is blessed with floor-to-ceiling windows and panoramic city views. The entrance foyer leads directly into a 45-foot-long combo dining/living room that will surely blow the proverbial bloomers off the new owner’s guests.

There are a total of 6 bedrooms and 6.5 baths in the apartment, including two staff rooms with private baths. The expansive master suite includes an office (with a wall of windows overlooking the living room below), a sitting room, a mega-sized bedroom, dual walk-in closets/dressing rooms and a dual bathrooms, both done up with huge slabs of marble.

According to current listing materials, the current monthly common charges and taxes total more than $35,000, or $420,000+ per year. That’s a lot of Benjamins, of course, but no more than couch change for a man of Mr. Cohen’s means.

Perhaps the biggest demerit for Mr. Cohen’s sleek spread is that there’s no outdoor space. Zero. And for $45 million, Yolanda would like a wraparound terrace, please.

But then again, how often would you actually use outdoor space at an NYC penthouse 52 stories high, way up there amid the fierce winds and nippin’ frost? Brrrr.

For the past two decades, Mr. Cohen’s primarily residence has been his colossal estate in Greenwich (CT). Old reports say he paid $14.8 million in cash for the property and spent untold millions more to expand the structure. The lavish complex now sports 32,000-square-feet of living space, golf greens, formal gardens, a tennis court and a full-size ice rink. Oh, and somewhere in the Greenwich manse is a $12 million tiger shark encased in formaldehyde, courtesy of Damien Hirst.

Some of Mr. Cohen’s other properties include (but are not limited to):

• A $23 million apartment in Manhattan’s West Village
• Two side-by-side townhouses, also in West Village, bought for $39 million
• An $18 million “cottage” in the Hamptons
• A 14,000-square-foot mansion in Delray Beach, Florida — in the swanky Stone Creek Ranch development

And in 2013, Mr. Cohen paid $62.5 million for his second compound in the Hamptons — also (like his first) located on East Hampton’s tony Further Lane. (Mr. Cohen reportedly outbid David Geffen for the 6.5-acre estate.) The property happens to sit right next door to an even larger $147 million spread that — until just recently — held the record for most expensive home ever sold in the USA.

The following year (2014), real estate rumors hissed that Mr. Cohen was interested in flipping his giant new Hamptons property because — according to an anonymous attorney familiar with the transaction — East Hampton is just “too Jewish” for Mr. Cohen’s liking.

Keep in mind, y’all, that Mr. Cohen himself — if you couldn’t already tell by his last name — is definitely Jewish. And for the record, his representatives vehemently denied the anonymous attorney’s comments, calling them “false and despicable“. Oh my!

Whatever the case, our Mr. Cohen continues to own the Hamptons complex. And he will continue to encounter large Jewish populations just about anywhere he goes. Including in Beverly Hills, where the residents are 90% Jewish — or so it seems.

And yes, speaking of Beverly Hills, Mr. Cohen does indeed have a seriously swank property out yonder. A few years ago, he paid one of his friends — mega-mansion developer Gala Asher — a fierce $34,500,000 for a spec-crib that’s just a short walk to the legendary Beverly Hills Hotel.

At the time he sealed the deal, back in early 2015, Yolanda heard through the grapevine that Mr. Cohen purchased the Beverly Hills beast because his kids attend USC — and he was sick and tired of staying at five-star hotels while visiting them.

No, seriously. That’s really what we were told. (Must be nice!)

Listing agents: Richard J Steinberg, Alexander Mignogna, Emanuele Fiore and Lauren.Keegan, Douglas Elliman

Today we shall journey deep behind the Orange Curtain. Let’s discuss Laguna Beach’s perennially pricey Emerald Bay community.

We’ve chatted about Emerald Bay on at least one prior occasion. But to reiterate: this neighborhood is more than just another rich-people-only space — it’s a whole lifestyle. Not only does the enclave have one of the slickest websites we’ve ever seen (for a gated community, that is) but the hefty HOA dues go toward maintaining a staffed clubhouse, six tennis courts with a full-time tennis pro/instructor, a 1/2 mile private beach, volleyball courts, basketball court, kids’ playground, three private parks, a heated swimming pool complex, and much more. Heck, the community even has its own fire station.

Emerald Bay sprawls across both sides of the PCH and includes some 500 homes. Pricetags start around $4 million or so for inland properties with no view and go all the way up to — well, one can spend as much as one likes. According to Yolanda’s research, the most expensive property ever sold in the enclave is a $45 million, two-house blufftop compound acquired by German billionaire Hasso Plattner in 2014.

Other richie-rich homeowners there include UFC billionaire Frank Fertitta III, LA Fitness CEO/owner/founder Louis Welch, and — until recently — Warren “Oracle of Omaha” Buffett himself.

Speaking of Omaha, Emerald Bay’s newest homeowner also hails from the Big O. He’s a dude named Henry A. Davis, and he recently paid a fat $21,000,000 for an oceanfront mansion down yonder.

For Yolanda’s vegan and vegetarian subscribers — like our mama — y’all may wish to stop reading at this point. Our Mr. Davis owns one of the biggest slaughterhouses in the USA — Greater Omaha Packing, a global supplier that shows the beef (literally) to 69 countries around the world. Some of America’s top restaurants, too — the French Laundry, for one. And many upscale steakhouse chains. Ever wondered where your juicy Ruth’s Chris and Lawry’s steaks originate? Now you know.

The business was founded nearly 100 years ago by Mr. Davis’s maternal grandfather Herman Cohen, a Russian-Jewish immigrant who came to America practically penniless.

Aside from his exceedingly lucrative business — Forbes estimates his net worth at $1.3 billion, making him one of the three wealthiest men in Nebraska — Mr. Davis is probably best-known for his acrimonious, years-long divorce from one Mary Kay Davis.

Back in 2006, the Davises settled their drawn-out divorce. Ms. Davis received a $3 million lump sum payment (plus ten-year alimony payments). That’s a big heap of cash but peanuts — or a wee bit of ground beef — to a billionaire like Mr. Davis.

Needless to say, the ex-Mrs. Davis eventually felt shafted! She was pretty bummed out about her bum deal and blasted her lawyer for bunglin’ her case. The lady was bamboozled outta half a billion bucks! Or so she claimed.

So the ex-wife filed a $100 million lawsuit against Mr. Davis. And the case went all the way to the Nebraska Supreme Court, marking only the second time the High Court ever heard a matter between two squabbling (ex-)spouses. For what it’s worth, Ms. Davis’s case was dismissed.

Mr. Davis, who has two adult children, has not remarried since his 2006 divorce — perhaps for obvious reasons. Now in his late 60s, he also frankly admits that he has not yet established a succession plan for his business.

And for the record, homeboy is also a world-class car collector — he owns one of the original 1966 Ford GT40s — an automobile that famously whooped Ferrari at LeMans. That car, today, has been fully restored and is worth untold millions. But we digress.

The new Laguna home of Mr. Davis is deceptively modest from the street front — it appears to be a low-slung, fairly ordinary abode. However, the property clings to a precipitously steep cliff and thus drops down mullet-style to four full floors out back. Total living space clocks in at a mansion-sized 6,109-square-feet with 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms.

This place was originally built in 1991 and looks it. The all-beige-everything decor and various accents are akin to what you’d find in many a 90s suburban McMansion. Of course, those suburban McMansions don’t have this sublime location — hence the high price point. For more than 20 years, the house was home to Las Vegas-based trash tycoon Thomas Isola and his wife Mary.

The rooms are quite expansive and the open-concept floorplan lends the interiors a welcome airiness. And from what Yolanda can tell, nearly every level of the home has generous outdoor space, too.

An indulgent master suite features a humongous bedroom with fireplace and sitting area plus a spa-like bath and private outdoor terrace.

Perhaps the property’s coolest feature is this: unlike most oceanfront mansions, this place actually has a sizable landscaped backyard. There’s a decent-sized lawn, mature palm trees and various other tropical flora. Plus an in-ground jacuzzi for when the Pacific is just too chilly! All this just steps from pristine (and essentially private) Emerald Bay beach.

Make no mistake, kids, $21 million is a ton of money — the most paid for a Orange County house so far this year, in fact. And given that this place could use a thorough interior update, so much cash might seem kinda crazy.

But when you gaze out at the sunset over the aquamarine sea, the gentle breezes rustling’ through palm fronds, the “where’s the beef?” problem is magically answered. And suddenly, it all seems worth it. Don’t it?

Listing agent: Celeste Gilles, Villa Real Estate
Henry Davis’s agent: Rob Giem, Compass

Certain celebrities gobble up so many homes that Yolanda has (nearly) given up trying to track them all down. We’re talking people like the Kardashians, Taylor Swift and Ellen DeGeneres — each of whom have amassed property portfolios worth $100 million or thereabouts.

And then there’s Alex Rodriguez and his long-term lady love Jennifer Lopez, who also share a deep, endless passion for real estate. The couple seemingly spend all their free time looking for new properties — to the extent that their bicoastal portfolio now bulges with high-maintenance spreads.

Last month, Variety revealed that Jeremy Piven quietly took in $6,600,000 for his oceanfront Malibu house. That’s way, way, way less than the $10.5 million originally asked nearly two years ago, but it’s also substantially more than the $3.5 million he paid back in 2004.

The discount buyers took title under a mysteriously-named LLC, but Yolanda’s research reveals they are none other than — you guessed it — A-Rod and J.Lo, a couple who need yet another multi-million dollar house like a rhino needs a gosh-darn cruise ship. But they want a new home and they’ve got the moolah. So that’s that. These folks get what they want. And then they head to Nobu in Ms. Lopez’s cherry-red Rolls Royce to celebrate their latest splurge.

And no, the money definitely won’t be an issue. 43-year-old Mr. Rodriguez is worth some $300 million, while 49-year-old Ms. Lopez has built an eye-poppin’ $400 million fortune. In 2018 alone, Forbes estimates she raked in $47 million.

The tri-level beach house was built back in 1949 and sits on Old Malibu Road Beach, which locals apparently also call “Jane Seymour Beach” because the best Bond girl‘s home is nearby. Huh. Yolanda learns something new everyday!

Anywho, this sandy beach is generally considered one of the city’s finest, particularly if y’all like to surf. And it’s also popular with celebs, who value its proximity to central Malibu’s shopping and dining.

Out front, the house is overrun by a riotous vine and a bunch of potted plants. There’s garage space for two vehicles and a secure courtyard entrance with more tropical landscaping.

The all-white kitchen is not particularly stylish. Or pretty. But it does feature expensive commercial-grade appliances and bar-style seating for casual dining.

Overall, Yolanda thinks this home would benefit from Mr. Rodriguez and Ms. Lopez hiring a good interior designer, as the current whitewashed look verges on the ho-hum, vaguely Airbnb type of thing.

There are 4 beds and 3.5 beds in the 4,404-square-foot structure, including a generously-proportioned master suite on the top floor. Up there are a built-in soaking tub, walk-in closet, steam shower and private balcony overlooking the beach.

The property also sports a variety of other amenities and amusements — there’s a jacuzzi on the main floor’s outdoor deck, a screening room upstairs, and a sprawling “entertainment room” on the lower level with a wet bar and dry sauna. And while we doubt Jenny from the block does her own gardening, she’ll still appreciate this (mostly) low-maintenance place: other than the scattered plants out front, there’s no landscaping to tend.

In addition to their new $6.6 million Malibu digs, the Lopez-Rodriguez clan presides over a vast property portfolio worth nearly $100 million, which includes two other LA spreads. Their main residence, located in Bel Air’s Stone Canyon, is a stunning $28,000,000 Arts & Crafts-style compound that Ms. Lopez bought from actress Sela Ward back in 2015.

Back in 2014, Mr. Rodriguez paid Meryl Streep $4,800,000 for a contemporary home just above LA’s iconic Sunset Strip. That property is currently for sale, asking a hefty $6.5 million.

Mr. Rodriguez also keeps an extravagant contemporary compound over in Coral Gables, Florida. The deluxe digs were custom-built to his specifications, completed in 2014, and intended as a modern homage to the mid-century homes in Beverly Hills’ Trousdale Estates neighborhood. A couple years back, the property was featured in Architectural Digest.

Ms. Lopez also has a $10 million vacation home up north, in the quietly swank Hamptons community of Water Mill, NY.

The lavish-living pair also maintain two extravagant New York City pied-a-terres. The first is a 6,540-square-foot penthouse near Madison Square Park. Acquired solely by Ms. Lopez back in 2014 for $20,161,350, that place has been for sale since October 2017 with an unchanged $27 million pricetag.

Last year (2018), the couple co-paid $15,317,000 for a 36th-floor condo at 432 Park, the ultra-posh Midtown Manhattan skyscraper that happens to be the tallest residential building in the entire world. Though they allegedly still “love” the building, the pair nonetheless flipped the three bedroom unit back onto this market this January with a $17.5 million pricetag.

In case any of our Manhattan readers are tearing up at the thought of losing this comely duo, don’t fret. Though both their NYC homes are for sale, rumors say the pair are out shopping for a larger, more family-friendly spread downtown. With a total of four kids, the blended family needs more than three bedrooms, dammit! But why didn’t they think of that before they bought the damn thing?

Back in humble ol’ Malibu, some of the couple’s nearest new neighbors include Friends actor Matthew Perry, legendary producer Leonard Goldberg, mega-rich “King of Sitcoms” Chuck Lorre and Walmart heiress Sybil Robson Orr.

Listing agents: Madison Hildebrand & Jill Galloway, Compass
J.Lo & A-Rod’s agent: Carl Gambino, Westside Estate Agency

Over the past couple weeks, Yolanda has been flooded with curious enquiries about a big ol’ house located in prime Beverly Hills, smugly set on one of the best streets in the western Flats neighborhood.

It seems folks are curious about who owns the Nile Niami-designed place and why it was recently listed with a pass-the-Advil-please $26,500,000 pricetag, especially given it last sold in 2017 for way less.

Well, if y’all woulda paid attention in class, you’d already have the answer to the “who”! Just kidding — well, not really. Yolanda discussed this place back in 2017. The house is owned by a billionaire Indonesian heiress named Judith Soeryadjaya.

Ms. Soeryadjaya is the youngest child of the late William Soeryadjaya, an Indonesian industrialist and ex-con. Upon his release from prison at age 35, the deeply religious Mr. Soeryadjaya founded Astra International from scratch and built it into what is currently Indonesia’s largest conglomerate.

Astra has clearly been very generous to the Soeryadjaya family, pouring billions into their bank accounts and providing Mr. Soeryadjaya’s daughter with this Beverly Hills mansion.

But we digress. The “French styled” (per the listing) Beverly Hills manor was originally built in 1986. Our Mr. Niami picked up the half-acre estate in 2014 for $11.9 million, gave it a slick contemporary overhaul and flipped it to Ms. Soeryadjaya for $15,600,000.

Why Ms. Soeryadjaya believes this place has appreciated by nearly $11 million in less than two years is a complete mystery to Yolanda, especially considering that the home ain’t been remodeled since her purchase. $26.5 million seems a mite crazy, in our endlessly humble opinions.

Then again, Flats real estate is still currently on fire — at least three $25+ million sales there in the past six months. Buyers are seemingly oblivious to the stagnation of the overall market. For now.

By the way, Yolanda happens to know that Ms. Soeryadjaya does not reside in the Beverly Hills mansion. Rather, the property was purchased for the use of her two children, who are in their late 30s and/or early 40s. Currently, the home is occupied by two women: an Angelica Nathania Tan and a Fanny Maeloa.

Our Ms. Tan (above) is Ms. Soeryadjaya’s daughter. Since graduating with a college degree from London Met, she has served as Vice Chairman at Credo Group, an investment holding company founded by her mother to manage the family assets.

As for Ms. Maeloa, she is Ms. Soeryadjaya’s daughter-in-law through her marriage to William Shane Tan, Ms. Soeryadjaya’s son. Our Ms. Maeloa has lived in LA for many years and graduated from USC. She now toils as Chief Marketing Officer at Credo Group.

For the record, we believe Ms. Maeloa is also a granddaughter of Eka Tjipta Widjaja, the multi-billionaire entrepreneur who for many years was ranked as Indonesia’s richest man. But let’s move on, way on into the real estate discussion.

Curious lookie-loos will be disappointed — the entire property is completely invisible from the streetfront, cloaked behind an enormous hedge and a towering driveway gate. There are cameras and a full security system, of course. So don’t bother knockin’ on the front gate to sell Girl Scout cookies (or whatever).

In the driveway are a couple pimped-out rides, just in case y’all forgot how rich the Soeryadjaya family is. There’s a $100,000+ Range Rover with custom wheels. And right next to it is a Kylie Jenner-approved Mercedes-Benz G550 4×4 Squared, a massive monster truck that has gotta be one of the most ridiculous vehicles available for sale — and it retails for $250,000+! The grey example y’all see above — partially obscured by a tacky car cover — is owned by Ms. Maeloa, so Yolanda has been told.

Peasants, be sure to move your Civics and Corollas safely to the side of the road, should you see Ms. Maeloa barreling down Sunset in that tank.

Guests to the 9,200-square-foot abode will be impressed by the two-story foyer, a sweeping staircase, and what appears to be a large Alec Monopoly sculpture on the French Limestone floor.

Elsewhere there’s a formal dining room with French door access to the yard and a living room with marble fireplace. The family room opens to a mammoth eat-in kitchen, which sports every high-end appliance known to mankind. Somewhere there’s a glass-enclosed wine room with tasting area.

The main floor has a single bedroom for a live-in maid or nanny. Upstairs there are five “family” bedroom suites, one of which is done up with double beds, lots of pink and Hello Kitty pillows (the en-suite bathroom also has a Hello Kitty floormat). Another bedrooms is accented with three small Jeff Koons balloon sculptures. At least we think that’s what they are.

The decadent master suite flaunts ebonized hardwood floors in the bedroom, which comes outfitted with a fireplace (and marble surround) plus a sitting area.

Also in the master are a dry sauna and his-and-hers bathrooms and walk-in closets. An expansive deck boasts views of the pancake-flat backyard, with its lush lawn and broad concrete terrace. For some reason, the pool/spa combo is tucked away on the property’s south side, beneath a towering hedge.

Behind the property is a narrow (and camera-watched) alleyway — which is where the trash barrels are kept and the hired help parks, we’d guess.

Naturally Yolanda has no idea where Ms. Tan and Ms. Maeloa plan to move. But should Ms. Soeryadjaya succeed in getting her sky-high asking price, they have other options. Our Ms. Maeloa previously resided in another 90210 residence — this one located in the illustrious (and infamous) Beverly Park guard-gated community, high in the mountains above Beverly Hills.

The nearly 30,000-square-foot mega-mansion was custom-built in 1999 for Hano Maeloa, who we believe to be Fanny Maeloa’s elder brother. Years ago, Yolanda heard that the home was modeled after the White House — though a slightly smaller version, of course. See the resemblance?

Anywho, the multi-acre property is located in the same guard-gated enclave where Denzel Washington, Sylvester Stallone, Magic Johnson, Samuel L. Jackson, Rod Stewart and Eddie Murphy all reside — the latter of whom happens to be right next door. Point is, Ms. Maeloa won’t be homeless, whatever happens to the Flats manse.

Life is good when you’re a member of two of your country’s wealthiest clans.

Listing agents: Mark & Juli Udem, Regent Brokerage

With its near-perfect Mediterranean climate, rolling mountains and tranquil ocean vistas, you can always count on Montecito to serve up some lovely real estate listings. So today we journey up north to check out the properly beautiful Palmyra estate, a 4.5-acre compound located in the foothills near the western end of Montecito, just a few minutes’ drive from downtown Santa Barbara.

The fully-landscaped spread recently sold for exactly $10 million to Jeff Abrams, a fashion designer from Los Angeles. While that may seem like a lot of money — and it is — the property was originally listed for $19.5 million nearly four years ago. Numerous pricechops (and at least one change of realtors) inevitably followed. Finally, Mr. Abrams strolled into the picture and the deal was sealed.

Yolanda is no expert on the Montecito real estate market (or any market, for that matter) but your gurl is of the opinion that Mr. Abrams got a great deal here — just judging by the amount of land, features of this property and comparing to other Montecito homes (also written about by Yolanda) recently sold for double or event triple what this one fetched. The only real negative is this place doesn’t have much — if any — view of the Pacific. At least from what we can tell.

The property is comprised of three standalone structures: a Mediterranean-style main house, a three-bedroom guesthouse, and a low-slung adobe building/poolhouse. While the main and guest houses were built in 1991, the poolhouse dates to the early 1900s. Back then, the Palmyra property was part of the legendary El Mirador, a palatial 70-acre estate built by the wealthy Armour family in the early 1900s. El Mirador was one of Santa Barbara County’s crown jewels, as it were.

But time showed no mercy. El Mirador‘s grounds fell into ruin and were eventually subdivided. Now all that remains — at least on the Palmyra property — is the wee adobe building.

The 1991-built manor house was long occupied by Stephen Hahn, a noted art dealer/collector and expert on Picasso and Degas. Upon his 2011 death, the home passed to his widow Carla — the lady who just sold the whole caboodle to Mr. Abrams.

Current marketing materials do not specify the home’s size, but it’s quite large. If Yolanda had to guess, we’d wager the total square footage is 10,000 (or so). There are 5 beds and 6.5 baths.

Beyond imposing front gates, a serpentine drive winds past acres of gardens, rolling lawns and sculpted hedges before dead-ending at a central motorcourt. Guests will be impressed by the enormous double-height foyer with barrel-vaulted ceiling — y’all could practically land a small airplane in there.

The living room sports a substantial fireplace, coved windows, and sets of French doors overlooking a portion of the estate grounds. Likewise, the library and dining room sport similar getups (and substantial fireplaces, too).

An eat-in kitchen has a vaulted ceiling and top-of-the-line appliances. There are four bedroom suites in the main house, and the master sports French doors leading to a private balcony, fireplace plus dual closets and bathrooms.

Across the manicured lawn — check out that fountain! — is the 3-bed, 2-bath guesthouse. And hidden behind tall privets is the historic adobe structure — that relic of bygone El Mirador days — with its additional 2 beds, 3 baths and a 40-foot living room. Said room opens on one side to the tennis court and on the other, to the pool and adjacent patio area. Yolanda imagines this space could easily be converted into a gym or yoga studio, though we have no idea what the new owner intends to do with the place.

All told, there are 10 bedrooms and 11.5 bathrooms on the property, which seems like a lot of space for an unmarried, child-free guy. But although this property is big, for better or worse it sits directly below three monstrous compounds, all of which make Palmyra look like servants’ quarters. Those three mega-estates are owned by software CEO Dan O’Dowd, Ghostbusters producer Ivan Reitman, and Annette Simmons, widow of Texas-based multi-billionaire Harold Simmons.

Anywho. Speaking of Mr. Abrams, here’s a wee background on our boy. Born and raised in Beverly Hills, he began designing after spending time in Italy during college. His first product was headgear — yes, hats — which he began hawking door-to-door (and shop-to-shop).

Eventually Mr. Abrams began designing women’s shirts, which would ultimately become the halo product of Rails. Today, his signature plaid shirts are beloved for their quintessentially California chic look and comfort. Be warned, though, these casually luxe pieces ain’t for the financially faint of heart — one plaid shirt will set you back $148 (plus tax).

But hey, it’s worth it! The shirts been worn by nearly every top female influencer on the planet: Beyonce, Kate Moss, Taylor Swift, Kendall Jenner and the Hadid sisters are all fans of Mr. Abrams’ clothing. And all those gals can’t be wrong. Right? (For any curious ladies (and dudes — Mr. Abrams recently launched men’s and kid’s lines), you can find Rails clothing at most any luxury department store: Nordstrom’s, Neiman Marcus, Bloomingdale’s, etc.)

40-year-old Mr. Abrams has big dreams for his fashion line. Here he is talking about expansion plans/goals for Rails that include potential standalone retail stores in LA and NYC. But we digress.

Given that he now presides over a seriously deluxe vacation home up in Montecito, one might imagine Mr. Abrams’ main LA residence is just as grand — perhaps even grander. Surprisingly, that’s not the case.

For the past 5+ years, Mr. Abrams has bunked up in his modest bachelor pad out in the San Fernando Valley, in the unheralded neighborhood of Valley Village. The 1939 Spanish-style bungalow has a wee front porch, a sunken living room and 3-beds/2.5-baths in just over 2,500-square-feet of living space. But no pool. Our boy paid $1,250,000 for the property back in 2013.

FYI, Mr. Abrams’ Valley Village street is lined with gorgeous, towering magnolia trees. You’d almost think you were in an affluent neighborhood in way down south in Dixie, not deep in the LA’s Valley.

Listing & Selling agent: Cristal Clarke, Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices

As part of Yolanda’s daily morning routine, we awoke today and perused the latest LA real estate listings. Unfortunately for our poor MacBook keyboard, we spit out an entire mouthful of orange juice upon noticing that revered actress/producer Jodie Foster has quietly (and somewhat surprisingly) slapped a whopping $15,900,000 pricetag on her Beverly Hills residence.

Extra-astute real estate watchers may (or may not) recall that Yolanda first blabbed about this house more than six years ago (via Variety). It was then — back in June 2012 — when we discovered Ms. Foster stealthily paid $11,750,000 (via blind trust) for the secluded property in an off-market deal. Since that time, she and her family have made it their primary residence.

As far as Yolanda knows, Ms. Foster has not yet purchased a new home, so her decision to sell comes as quite the surprise. Where is she moving? Why is she moving? If you know, let us know. Until then, we digress. All we know is that Ms. Foster has hired one of LA’s top agents to shop her roomy abode around, so she seems serious about unloading the spread.

Now in her 50s, Ms. Foster is one of those ultra-rare born-and-raised Angelenos. A child prodigy, she first gained notice for her acting work as a young girl — she was nominated for an Oscar at the tender age of 14 — before graduating from Yale and returning to Hollywood. Her much-acclaimed career has included two Oscar winning roles — The Accused (1988) and The Silence of the Lambs (1991) — and a multitude of other successful, award-nominated projects.

Since 2014, Ms. Foster has been married to photographer Alexandra Hedison, an ex-girlfriend of Ellen DeGeneres. Our Ms. Hedison is also the ex-girlfriend of wealthy window heiress Allison Milgard, who famously bought a Hollywood Hills home from Ms. DeGeneres before selling it back to her several years later. But we digress.

Ms. Foster also has two sons, both of whom recently became adults. So maybe this empty-nester is looking for a residential downsize?

Speaking of the real estate, Ms. Foster — a notoriously private lady — is being downright stingy with the listing photographs for her home. There are only seven of them currently floating around the MLS, and only three of those show the home’s interior. So forgive Yolanda, but we’ll try to make the best of things.

Originally built in 1952 as a modest ranch house, the Coldwater Canyon-area structure was greatly expanded by the previous owner — British producer Colin Callender — who added a new second story to the premises, enlarging the interior space to a mansion-sized 7,500-square-feet.

The .65-acre hilltop lot, while relatively spacious on paper, is surprisingly long and narrow, meaning that the house sits rather hard-up on the street. But the property is still supremely private, the home nearly invisible behind a towering hedge. Naturally the entire spread is also walled, gated, and secured with cameras galore.

Inside, there are five bedrooms and six bathrooms. Rooms are done up in what some might call a “modern Traditional” manner — there are hardwood floors stained a trendy dark brown, vaulted ceilings, and rows of glassy French doors accessing various patios and al fresco dining areas.

The impressive double-height foyer features a contemporary chandelier, and the formal living room has a “grand” fireplace. Adjacent to the living room are both a media room/theater and a formal dining room.

Upstairs is the master suite — not pictured — which sports “vaulted ceilings and exposed beams, a fireplace and a large private viewing deck,” per the listing. The ridgetop property backs directly up to Franklin Canyon, so said views take in the Franklin Canyon Reservoir and the faraway LA basin.

Whether this property has appreciated by $4 million in under seven years ain’t for Yolanda to say. We’ll let the market (and our commenters) be the judge of that. But it’s worth noting that Ms. Foster had a real devil of a time selling her previous house, a Spanish-style casa located over in the Bird Streets.

Originally listed for nearly $6.4 million, it took more than a year (and a change of realtors) before that home was sold for just under $5 million to Tammie Arnold, a bigshot financier lady from Laguna Beach. Let’s hope the real estate gods are on Ms. Foster’s side this time around.

Listing agent: David Kramer, Hilton & Hyland

No other LA neighborhood is better-known for its concentration of billionaire homeowners than Malibu’s Carbon Beach — so much so that this strip of land between the PCH and the ocean is often simply (and perhaps unimaginatively) called “Billionaires’ Beach“.

Thus, when a property on the Carbon sand recently sold for $18,700,000 (in cash), we were naturally curious about the identity of the beach’s newest billionaire homeowner. But before we get into all that, here’s a stubby background on the house itself.

Last sold back in 1993 for just $2,825,000, the two-story modern was built in 1956 and long owned by Hal Alden, the late pioneering textile importer. Shortly after his 2017 death, his heirs hoisted the .23-acre spread onto the market with an aggressive $24.5 million ask. About six months later, it finally transferred for the discounted $18.7 million.

Nearly $19 million is still a great deal of money, of course, but it’s relative peanuts compared to what other Carbon Beach homes have fetched in recent years. Lest we forget, there was an $85 million sale just a few doors away and a record-shattering $110 million deal just last year.

But we digress. It took Yolanda several months before we discovered the buyer’s identity, but it turns out he’s a very well-to-do fella named Robert F. Smith.

According to both Forbes and Bloomberg, Mr. Smith — an engineer by trade and entirely self-made — is the wealthiest black billionaire in America. His estimated fortune of $5 billion is roughly double Oprah’s net worth, in case anyone is keeping tabs.

Along with fellow real estate baller Brian Sheth, Mr. Smith is one of two head honchos at Vista Equity Partners, the Texas-based private equity firm that primarily invests in software and tech startups. Vista owns over 50 software companies and employs approximately 65,000 worldwide.

56-year-old Mr. Smith and his second wife Hope Smith (née Dworaczyk), a former Playboy model, have two children (he’s also got three more from his first marriage). The couple are big time philanthropists who recently gave $50 million to Cornell University (his alma mater), $40 million to the United Negro College Fund, $20 million to the Smithsonian and $27 million to breast cancer research. In 2016 alone, Mr. Smith’s Fund II Foundation donated some $160 million.

Our Mr. Smith is also the current Chairman of Carnegie Hall and a major political donor who has given generously to both Republican and Democratic causes and candidates, records show.

But anyway, it isn’t such a surprise that the Smiths would be looking to buy on Carbon Beach. For the last few years, as Yolanda has previously discussed, the couple have resided (part-time) in a blufftop Malibu mansion without direct ocean access. It’s only natural that a billionaire couple would also desire an oceanfront beach “shack” to complement their holdings.

The 4,036-square-foot wood-sided structure features a wee gated motorcourt and garage space for two luxury vehicles. A generous 60 feet of sandy frontage allow space for a lengthy patio. Those billion-dollar views take in the aquamarine Pacific and stretch all the way down to the Palos Verdes peninsula and Catalina island.

As is typical for a luxury beach house, the interiors are outfitted with a soft, neutral sort of decor. The open-concept floorplan means most of the lower level is one giant room — there’s a living area, a dining space, and a family/lounge area with adjacent wet bar.

Also on the main floor is a large gourmet kitchen with granite countertops and bar-style seating plus three ensuite bedrooms for family or guests.

The entire second floor is dedicated to the sumptuous master suite, with its stunning walls of glass in the bedroom, a separate sitting area (could be converted into a gym) and a lavish master bath with built-in soaking tub and glassy shower.

Some of the Smiths’ new billionaire neighbors include Larry Ellison — he owns a dozen homes along this same strip of sand — Dodgers owner Mark Walter, Michael Milken, Haim Saban, Les Moonves, Jamie McCourt, and Michael & Iris Smith — who recently paid the $110 million for their Carbon Beach home. (The other Smiths’ new pad is currently gutted and under major construction, but we digress).

Astute real estate watchers may recall that this is not the first time we have discussed Mr. & Mrs. Smith on this here website. Back in 2015, they paid former Real Housewives star Yolanda Hadid a whopping $19,495,000 for her huge, custom-built Malibu mansion.

The clifftop compound and its massive infinity pool happen to directly overlook Carbon Beach. And yes, it also peers down on their new $18.7 million shack.

As astute real estate watchers may recall, the former Yolanda Hadid property featured a custom walk-in refrigerator that apparently became world-famous (or at least famous among reality TV viewers) for its multitude of appearances on Real Housewives. Heck, the fridge even has its own Instagram account.

Our Mrs. Smith also clearly enjoys her new refrigerator and posts the occasional photo of it on her own Instagram account. But as usual, we digress.

Why do the Smiths need two Malibu homes, each of which cost nearly $20 million? Well, they’re billionaires. And their primary residence — the one they bought from Ms. Hadid — is nice, but it doesn’t have direct ocean access. With the new property, they can step out the back door and onto the sand. Or use it to house guests. Or rent it out. Or… y’all get the picture. The possibilities are many.

And like all proper billionaires, the Smiths have luxury real estate in many different zip codes. Their primary residence is in Austin, Texas, where Mr. Smith’s Vista Equity has long been based.

Last year, the couple made huge real estate waves when they paid more than $59 million for a triplex penthouse in New York City’s Getty building.

Designed by the acclaimed Peter Marino, the glassy Getty features twelve floors of luxury living — and the penthouse reportedly includes all three of the uppermost floors. The Smiths’ record-shattering purchase was reportedly the most ever paid for a residence in downtown Manhattan.

Listing & Selling agent: Chris Cortazzo, Coldwell Banker

Since last week’s story about the huge $9 million Palm Springs transaction proved unexpectedly popular, Yolanda thought we’d make the trek back out to one of our favorite local vacation destinations today. Perhaps something else worthy of a quick chat lies out yonder.

Lo and behold, something quite interesting does indeed lurk in Southridge, a guard-gated community/street made up of approximately 20 houses, many of them cool mid-century pads.

Like the name implies, Southridge is located south of downtown Palm Springs, on a high ridge in the San Jacinto Mountains. Most of the homes there boast panoramic vistas of Palm Springs in its entirety (and the surrounding mountain ranges, too).

Southridge is notable for containing some of the area’s most significant — or at least most famous — residential architecture. There’s the oddball (and giant) Bob Hope estate, recently sold for a record-breaking $13 million to supermarket billionaire Ron Burkle. There’s the old Steve McQueen pad. And then there’s one of Yolanda’s all-time favorite homes: the Elrod house, made world-famous by the James Bond flick Diamonds Are Forever. (That place is now owned by LA fashion designer Jeremy Scott).

Today’s house was just listed a few days ago and hasn’t been on the market “in over fifty years,” per the listing. That’s interesting because records show the property last sold back in 1974 for $700,000. But we suppose that deal could’ve been an off-market situation.

Anyway, the property has long been owned by Linda Johnson Rice, a (very) prominent businesswoman from Chicago — and the heiress to a publishing empire founded by her entrepreneurial parents, John H. Johnson and Eunice W. Johnson.

Widely regarded as the most influential African-American publishers in history, the Johnsons founded the Johnson Publishing Company, which served as the umbrella holding company for Ebony and Jet magazines plus book and film production divisions and their very popular Fashion Fair cosmetics line. At one point, Mr. Johnson’s personal net worth was estimated at $150 million and he was the first black American to ever appear on the Forbes 400.

The Johnsons purchased the Palm Springs pad as their vacation residence. Yolanda imagines it came in handy when they wanted to escape those bitterly cold Chicago winters. Upon their deaths — Mr. Johnson passed in 2005, Mrs. Johnson in 2010 — Ms. Rice inherited the spread.

Speaking of Ms. Rice, she currently serves as Johnson Publishing’s CEO and also served as Ebony‘s CEO until March 2018 (Johnson Publishing sold Ebony and Jet in 2016 for an undisclosed amount). She has also long been a very visible pillar of Chicago society, contributing many millions to philanthropic efforts, hosting charity galas and such.

And Ms. Rice does have SoCal ties — she graduated from USC with a degree in journalism and later donated millions to create the Johnson Communication Leadership Center at the school.

Today, Ms. Rice serves on the board of directors for numerous firms — GrubHub, Kimberly-Clark and Omnicom Group among them. Perhaps most notably, she has been a board member at Tesla since 2017.

We have no clue what Ms. Rice’s exact net worth is — not that it’s our business anyway — but we imagine it’s well into the eight figures (at least), given that she recently sold Tesla stock worth $2.4 million alone. And then, of course, there’s her millions of dollars in luxury real estate — starting with the dynamic Palm Springs abode.

The 2.25-acre property comprises two adjacent parcels of land. One parcel contains the residence itself, while the second lot contains little more than a full-size tennis court — one of only two in the Southridge community — and some palm trees.

A generous motorcourt sits behind drought-resistant landscaping. The home’s windowless front facade features stacked stone walls and an elaborate carved front door.

Originally built in 1964, the mid-century spread has a foyer with intricate tile patterns, whitewashed brick walls and a bunch of tribal-lookin’ artifacts. Guests will be dazzled by the home’s central courtyard, with its massive pool surrounded by loggias. Check out those jade (?) dragons guarding the doors.

There are 6 beds and 6.25 baths in the roomy 5,386-square-foot residence, including a secluded master suite with built-in soaking tub and walls of glass. The glassy theme continues throughout the casa — imagine settling’ down at one of those tables with a glass of chianti and a good book. Ahhh.

An open-concept floorplan features living/dining/family room combos and would easily allow for a variety of customizations by the next owner. Elsewhere are three ensuite guest/family bedrooms and two staff rooms.

Outside is the second pool — yes, there are two pools — this one freeform and infinity-edged, overlooking all of downtown Palm Springs. And tucked under the eaves is a separate spa/jacuzzi.

If you’re looking for a unique Palm Springs home and you’ve got the moolah, Yolanda recommends hopping over to this place sooner, not later. With the two pools, stunning views and a spacious home on what is arguably the best street in Palm Springs, $5.3 million almost seems like a good deal.

Of course, living in Southridge doesn’t come cheap. In addition to the $5,300,000 ask for Ms. Johnson Rice’s home, prospective purchasers should keep in mind the hefty HOA fees of $1,400 per month — most of which goes toward the 24/7 guard salary.

But regardless of whether Ms. Rice succeeds in unloading her Palm Springs compound, she won’t be homeless. Her current primary residence is located in Chicago’s coveted Carlyle condo building.

Believe it or not, but Ms. Rice has lived in the Carlyle for over 50 years — since 1968, when she was a wee lass of 9. It was then that her parents purchased a two-unit combo on the 24th floor of the building.

In 1988, Ms. Rice bought a Carlyle apartment of her own — this one located on the 35th floor. After her parents’ deaths, however, she moved back into their larger spread. Records show she sold the 35th floor unit in 2011 for about $2.5 million.

Located on Chicago’s coveted Gold Coast, the Carlyle has long been a favored residential destination for the city’s elite. Owners there have included numerous CEOs, powerful real estate developers and local politicians. Some of the 1964 building’s earliest big-name residents were industrialist Henry Crown, Chicago Bears quarterback Sidney Luckman, real-estate mogul Arthur Rubloff and gossip columnist Irv “Kup” Kupcinet.

Listing agents: Nelson Moe Properties, Compass