Call Yolanda a jaded beotch, but we’ve long ago ceased being confounded by the way some folks earn their millions here in Los Angeles. Actually, we think that’s actually one of the primary reasons we continue to be fascinated by real estate in this particular city. It’s not just because we’re familiar with the area, it’s that the wealthy folks here derive their moolah from so many wildly different sources. Even NYC, as culturally diverse as it is, seems comparatively more homogeneous in this regard.
Our BFF Your Mama over at Variety already broke the story about YouTube star Jordan Maron’s $4.5 million house in the Hollywood Hills. Now here we have a guy calling himself HuskyStarcraft (real name: Mike Lamond) who has nearly 1 million subscribers on the YouTube, a perfect procrastination tool for most kids and a money-minting gold mine for a select few others.
Anyway, these subscriber folks willingly devoted several minutes — if not several hours — of their life to watching Mr. Lamond play that Starcraft game and talk in a rather annoying voice. Well, alrighty then.
For that Mr. Lamond makes a lot of money, probably hundreds of thousands per year. Now call Yolanda a bitter old hag if you must, but we find that downright shocking. But we must get used to it. If Forbes’ “Highest-Paid YouTube Stars” is anything to go by, we’re going to see a lot more of this money here in the immediate future.
Though Mr. Lamond is a successful individual in his own right, we don’t believe he’s the big breadwinner here. That honor goes to his girlfriend Rosanna Pansino (real name: Rosanna Reardon) who runs an oddball yet massively successful cooking show on YouTube called “Nerdy Nummies” that has somehow racked up a flabbergasting seven million subscribers. She’s also got more than 2 million followers on Instagram, and more than 250k peeps on Twitter. Forbes says she hauled in $2.5 million last year — even before her new cookbook was released.
Interestingly enough, Ms. Pansino did not start a YouTube channel with the idea of becoming a multi-millionaire. Like so many before her, she came to Hollywood wanting to be a star. As she later recounted, Ms. Pansino hired an agent and got a union job as a cheerleader on the blessedly bygone Glee TV program. But with her Ho-wood career dead-ending, our gurl decided to invest her life savings ($20,000) into producing a YouTube channel. Obviously, the investment paid for itself — many, many times over.
Their success has afforded Mr. Lamond and Ms. Pansino the ability to buy luxury real estate. Earlier this month (August 2016), the couple forked out $3,825,000 on recently-built two-story house in the luxurious San Fernando Valley neighborhood of Tarzana. It would appear that the couple had some competition for the property, as the final sale price was actually $30,000 more than the initial listing price.
For what it’s worth, the property was once the site of a smaller house owned by former NBA star Loy Vaught. Our Mr. Vaught bought the property way back in 2004 for $1,375,000 and sold it in 2013 to a non-celeb couple for just $850,000, a brutal $525,000 loss not counting taxes fees, and etc.
The buyers of Mr. Vaught’s home promptly demolished it and constructed the thing you see here in listing photos today, which they just sold to the YouTube couple for nearly $4 million.
Aggressively described in marketing materials as a “custom Cape Cod Hamptons estate”, the clapboard-sided abode has a very generous 5,826-square-feet of living space and sits fairly privately on a .46-acre parcel at the end of a leafy and affluent cul-de-sac south of Ventura Boulevard.
Mature sycamore trees frame the entry walkway and the gurgling fountain. In addition to the three-car garage, there’s enough off-street parking for 4+ more cars courtesy of the wide driveway.
The listing says the house has “magnificent craftsmanship by highly respected & sought after local developers”, though we’re not exactly sure who those developers are. Whatever the case, the front door opens to a hallway situation with medium-brown hardwood floors. Just past the staircase on the left is the residence’s neutral-toned living room with bookcases and a fireplace.
The living room, in classic Southern California fashion, blends the indoors and out via a set of sliding doors. The rectangular pool has an inset spa and a dark grey stone patio surround.
And wait! Lookie here — is that what Yolanda thinks it is? A real diving board?! Please, oh please, tell us those are back in style and we’ll force our folks to add them to their pools straightaway! We love it.
A sport court is another thoughtful recreational amenity. There’s also a firepit, a barbecue, fireplace, and a rather charming outdoor dining room with twin electric fans for those hot Valley summers.
The kitchen is YouTube ready, no renovations required — it comes equipped with every high-end appliance, natch, and both islands are topped with Calacutta marble. The formal dining room sits right off the front door and has coffered ceilings, earth-toned walls, and drapes that look like they belong in a shower somewhere. We’re just sayin’.
Speaking of showers, the house’s fireplace-equipped master bath also features a glass-enclosed one with dual rainfall showerheads for extra cleanliness and perhaps a little romance. And maybe it’s just the angle of the photo, but the soaking tub seems a bit too small for an average-sized adult human. Good thing Ms. Pansino is a very petite 4’10”. Pity for the 6’2″ Mr. Lamond.
The master suite is done up in a rather feminine shade of blue-grey with cathedral ceilings and a crystal chandelier that — though we’re sure it cost a small fortune — rather reminds Yolanda of a big-ass wart growing our from the side of the wall.
In addition to the master suite, the house also features 4 bedrooms and 6 bathrooms. Then there are several “fun rooms” as Yolanda will term them. Upstairs is a glass-doored family room/lounge that looks as if it could easily be turned into a kids playroom. There’s also a gym/exercise room currently devoid of any exercise equipment. But it does have some shiny big balls.
The listing also makes a point of calling attention to the property’s state-of-the-art smart home system, which has surveillance cameras and LED lighting controlled by phone or computer. In other words, if any of you kiddies think it might be cute to roll out to Tarzana and attempt to steal Ms. Pansino’s secret recipes or Mr. Lamond’s Starcraft login, beware!
In the immortal words of the iconic Brenda from Scary Movie, “You on candid camera now.”
And if you thought the fact that a YouTube couple can afford a $4 million house of this caliber is shocking, just wait. Yolanda’s research reveals that this is not the only seven-figure home the couple possess. Back in November 2013, they paid $1,540,000 for a 3,386-square-foot, two-story house near the Westchester area of LA (that’s just north of LAX for all you geographically-challenged peeps). The property is basically right around the corner from Loyola Marymount.
As of today, the Westchester house is not currently on the market and Mr. Lamond & Ms. Pansino remain the owners of record.
So for all you struggling Hollywood dreamers, hauling yourself from audition to audition, remember this: there’s potential out there in arenas you may not be considering. We’re not saying everyone has the ability to be a Ms. Pansino and own $5 million+ in luxury real estate. Success comes in many sizes. And hell, if you’re really desperate, you could always start a blog to compete with Yolanda’s old ass. You might earn a few shekels! So roll up your sleeves and get cookin’.